Page 39 of Mean Moms
“It’s so lovely that we’ve formed such close bonds as parents of children at the same wonderful school. I think I even saw Dr. Broker walking around! Dr. Broker, can you say hello?” People eagerly looked for their headmaster, but he didn’t seem to be in the room. Clara gave it a few seconds and then shrugged unhappily. “My hope for this party, and really the whole purpose of the theme, is that we expandbeyondour own friend groups and meet some new people. I know from my personal experience as a working mother”—Frost heard a couple low groans at that—“that it’s difficult to foster new Atherton relationships, particularly between men and women. So right now, let’s solve that.”
“Where is she going with this?” Sofia said softly into Frost’s ear. Frost was happy that at least one of her friends wasn’t pissed at her. She wondered where Belle had gone.
“I have here a box filled with every male attendee’s name on a piece of paper,” said Clara, gesturing to a large wooden cube on a table next to her, decorated with the wordTIPS. “I need all the women to line up, grab a name, and then find that person and have a meaningful conversation with him. That’s an order!” she finished. No one moved. “I’m not kidding, folks,” Clara continued, sounding embarrassed. “Do I have to speak like I’m in court here? Please line up. Now.” Frost heard grumbles before the moms started making their way to the box. Frost grabbed a slip of paper: Bud Cunningham. Ugh. Frost didn’t want to have a conversation with Bud Cunningham. She wanted to go home and dry off.
She looked around for her friends; she needed to find Belle. She needed to explain the whole story. Clara still had the mic and was instructing the partygoers that the bar wouldn’t reopen until they’d paired off and chatted for at least six minutes.
Frost searched halfheartedly for Bud. She passed Tim, who made a face at her, mouthing, “What happened??” She gave him a peace sign, their signal for “we’ll discuss it later.” She then spottedTrina Cunningham, wearing pink overalls and a pink cap. Her hair was plaited into two braids. Trina ambled over to Frost, her braids swinging. “Trina, I pulled Bud,” said Frost. “Do you know where he is?” Trina shrugged. “No idea. Last I saw him he was upstairs, drinking with the guys. He’s wearing red overalls, a rainbow shirt, and a red hat. He’s My Buddy and I’m Kid Sister—the dolls that were supposed to be your best friends?” Frost nodded. These theme parties gave people license to be fucking weird. “What happened with you and Belle?” Trina asked, a gleam of good gossip in her eye.
Frost took off for the second floor instead of answering, in search of a grown man in a doll’s outfit. She saw that couples were pairing off and wondered if this party game, in some instances, might lead to more than friendship. She thought back to the Zoo-ly Fourth party, walking down to the beach with Art, the ketamine coursing through her body. How different she felt tonight, only one martini in, and a husband whom she felt recommitted to. Where the hell was Bud Cunningham, anyway? She scanned the top floor for someone in overalls. There was a Kramer speaking to Posh Spice. There was a guy dressed as Snoopy talking to a member of Taylor Swift’s squad, Karlie Kloss. Oh, wait, no, that was the real Karlie Kloss. Frost forgot that she and Josh Kushner had a kid in kindergarten. She waved at Karlie, who waved back. They knew each other from around town. But still no Bud.
The area was set up to look like theFriendsapartment, and the drinks station was within a suburban-size kitchen, which the Cains had painted blue for the party. Frost felt a tug, and she looked up to see Art standing in front of her, so close that she could smell his musky scent. She glanced around for Morgan but saw no one from their close circle of friends in their vicinity.
“Frost, I’m… I’m. Frost, I miss you,” said Art softly, leaninginto her. Frost felt her usual tug to him. “I’m sorry about the way we ended. I didn’t want to be short with you. I need to tell you something,” he continued. “It’s about Morgan…” At that moment, Frost saw Morgan coming up the stairs, her wedding dress costume taking up an impressive amount of space. She instantly spotted Frost with her husband and made a beeline toward them, not leaving Frost with time to say anything to Art other than “You should work on your marriage. I’m working on mine.” Then Frost spun away. She saw a green door, which she figured led to a powder room, and opened it haltingly, not wanting to walk in on anyone who’d inadvertently forgotten to lock. The lights were off, and so she patted her hand across the wall until she felt a click. The room was illuminated, and Frost saw that she’d walked into Ozzie’s bedroom. Whoops. Frost went to turn the light back off, but as she did, she saw some movement near the closet door, which was slightly ajar. She then saw the flash of a tutu.
“Belle?” Frost called, confused. “Is that you? Are you in the closet?” Belle peeked her head out.
“Frost! Yes, it’s me,” she said. She stepped out of the closet and smoothed her Carrie curls guiltily.
“Are you alone?” Frost asked, though she knew the answer to that question already. Belle shook her head, then put her finger to her lips. Frost had a bad feeling.
Just then Sofia entered, likely looking for Frost.
“What’s happening in here? I just had to get away from Hugo Corder, his breath was so stinky,” she said, waving her hand in front of her nose. “Ah, did I interrupt? Are you two making up?” she said to them.
The closet door squeaked open, and Belle ran back to it and shut it tightly.
“Is someone in there?” said Sofia, an eyebrow raised. Belle shook her head.
“Well, then, I’m glad I have you both here, because I need to tell you something,” said Sofia. Frost wasn’t sure what she was talking about, but she was more concerned about who was hiding in the closet. Whoever it was, it certainly wasn’t Jeff Redness.
Sofia went on.
“I’ve decided what I want to do with my life…” she said. Her blond wig was askew, her shiny brown hair visible from the front, too beautiful to be contained.
Then into the bedroom walked Morgan, looking from one woman to another, her face inscrutable.
“Am I missing an important powwow?” she said.
At the sound of her voice, the closet door popped open again, and Dr. Broker appeared before them. His hair was mussed, and Frost could see that his small nod to the theme was a stack of beaded friendship bracelets on his wrist.
“Mrs. Trevor, Ms. Perez, Mrs. Chary, I hope you’re having a nice party,” he said genially, as if greeting them in the halls of Atherton. Belle looked at the floor, then at the door, anywhere but at Dr. Broker or her friends. As Belle squirmed, Frost could have sworn she saw Morgan and Dr. Broker lock eyes, but only for a brief second.
Dr. Broker cleared his throat strangely and, without another word, moved past them out of the room.
“It’s not what it looked like,” said Belle softly. “I know this is going to sound crazy, but he’s been hitting on me! And, I don’t know, I guess I like the attention, but nothing has happened, I swear. I wouldn’t cheat on Jeff, though sometimes I fantasize about it.” Frost believed Belle.
“I guess…” said Frost, knowing now wasn’t the time to deploy the Miranda line but unable to resist, “you’re just not that intohim.” No one laughed. Frost felt like they were all going slightly insane.
“Ay, ay, ay,” said Sofia with a whistle. “Don’t worry, Belle. This will stay between us. I’m very good at keeping secrets.” Sofia then gave Morgan a long, hard glare, confusing Frost even more.
TheFriendstheme song came on again, blasting its insipid melody into Ozzie Cain’s room. The four women stood there, staring at each other suspiciously, their expensive costumes deflated and stained.
A Note from the Host, Clara Cain
Dear cherished Atherton community,
Neil and I wanted to send a quick note to say a warm thank-you for coming to our Friendsgiving theme party last night. We hope you enjoyed your time at Central Perk! We know there was some groaning about the “friendship exercise,” and we want to apologize to anyone who found it to be at all awkward. That certainly wasn’t our intention! We so value the bonds that our amazing school creates and fosters, and we hope last night gave everyone the opportunity to expand their circles and talk to someone new and interesting. Remember: we’ll be there for you when the rain starts to pour. Wink, wink. See you all soon.
