Page 88 of Wrath of the Dragons
“Beside you,” he answers. “You’re a reminder that everything I’ve done is worth it.” He kisses my forehead and runs his hands over my body like he’s reassuring himself that I’m unharmed.
“Never,” he whispers. “Neverchoose me over yourself.”
“I chose myself when I chose you.”
Chapter
Forty-four
Cayden
The wind whipping off thewaves isn’t loud enough to drown out my father’s voice booming through my skull.
You ruin everything you touch, boy. My life was so much better before you came into the world, and I wish you’d died in your mother’s womb. She would’ve mourned you, but she’d still be here.
I’m fucked in the head in a way that can’t be undone. I’m sure the old man is smiling up at me in triumph after being proved right yet again. I hate that he would be happy that I’m king. I hate that he would be happy the people of the southern isles are calling for me to ascend the conquered throne. I hate that he would’ve said utilizing the marriage clause was wise.
I hate when it feels like I’m looking in a mirror and seeing my father.
We have the same skin tone, the same wavy hair, the same broad frame, the same facial features. Thank the gods I didn’t get his eyes, even if it made him give me an extra lash when he saw my mother within my gaze.
The only damn thing that separates us is that I would never stand idly by while Elowen was harmed.
I never fell asleep after holding a knife to Elowen’s neck. It was a sight too chilling; I knew it would be awaiting me in my nightmares. The last thing I remembered before passing out from the poison wasElowen’s screams, and I was still in my battle headspace when I woke up on my stomach with someone touching my back. I didn’t know it was her, but if there was ever a moment when I wanted to grant her the favor of removing myself from her life, it was that one.
“Raise the sails!” Vale, the captain of the vessel shouts, and the crew scurries around the deck in response. Several water mages along with Ophir joined their ranks and are able to wield the water to get us to Galakin quicker.
Waves crash against the steep cliffs bordering the cove, the spray dissolving into the air filled with squawking gulls. We can’t portal to Galakin because the distance is too vast and would risk burning out the mages, but if something goes wrong in Vareveth it’s a risk we’ll have to take. The ship lurches beneath my feet as wind fills the dark blue sails. I transfer my weight to keep from stumbling, something Elowen and Finnian haven’t mastered, if their thumping and giggling streaming from somewhere on the deck is any indication.
My eyes remain on the endless horizon speckled with clouds as the dragons fly forward. Saskia steps up beside me, her gloved hands gripping the railing. “The five of us need to have a meeting now that we’ve left port.”
Ophir cleaves a wave in two, allowing us to sail through it. “Is Ryder in the cabin?”
She hesitates for a moment. “He is.”
I crack my neck and fill my lungs with the salty air, knowing the inevitable argument that’s coming will only add to my exhaustion. “I’ll see you down there.”
I sneak one final glance at Elowen from the corner of my eye before climbing the steps to the upper deck and shoving the door to the meeting room open. Nautical-themed decor adorns the walls, but nothing overly extravagant. The whole ship is made of dark wood, including the furniture that’s nailed to the floor—aside from the chairs.
Ryder glances up at me when I enter, his lips turning down as he looks me over. “Let’s have at it,” I sigh, claiming the seat across from him. “You’ve always worn your emotions on your face.”
He shakes his head, a sneer contorting his features. “What’s to say, Cayden? You saved my life, and I feel like a liability again, just as I did when we were younger.”
“You’ve defended me on several occasions.”
“I never took a bomb for you.”
“There’s always another day if that’s what made your mood so sour.” I shrug. “There was no sense in both of us dying. I knew what was coming, so I covered you.”
“You have a wife!” He slams his hands on the table, rattling the lantern at the center. “A wife!I had to listen to that woman scream as tears of blood ran down her cheeks while I prayed to every god I’ve ever heard of to spare both your lives. You were dying right in front of me, and so was she.”
It would have been less painful if he’d forced me to swallow glass. Gods, her screams. I’ll remember them for as long as I live. The helplessness I felt in that moment disgusted me, and I’ve never hated myself more, knowing I couldn’t rip my hands away from her.
“You should’ve taken her away from me.”
“No, I shouldn’t have.” He shakes his head. “What she did was a miracle.”
“What she did was suicidal,” I growl, rising to my feet.
