Page 76 of Fear the Flames
The children in the orphanage won’t go to bed hungry. The mothers, fathers, caretakers, and older siblings that stand in as parental figures won’t have to forgo dinner in favor of their children. The guards will be fed. Nyrinn’s hands won’t shake while she stitches someone. If I wasn’t in public, I would fall to my knees and succumb to a mixture of happy and relieved tears. The alliance is holding my life and kingdom together, and I can’t let it slip away. This is why the alliance must come before my personal wants. There are too many people relying on me.
“I figured you’d want to see it,” Cayden says beside me. I can tell he’s looking at me by the way his voice fans across the side of my face.
I clear the emotion from my throat, “Thank you for taking me here.”
“I received word this morning that your guards made it over the border. The purpose of the ball wasn’t a secret, so I suppose they knew the food would be ready for them to bring back to Aestilian.”
My eyes take in the wagon one last time before I turn away and walk toward the door we came out of. “Yes, they knew to come once they got word the alliance was finalized. The ball has been in the works for a few weeks; they probably planned their journey to get here soon after the papers were signed.”
Cayden reaches out a hand to stop me before I ascend the staircase, “Please hear me out before you turn me down.” Oh gods,thathas my attention. I spin away from the stairs and lean my back against the wall across from him. “We’re in an alliance officially now. I think it’s smart to send my soldiers with yours when they take the wagon back to Aestilian. They’ll have less of a chance at being attacked or robbed.”
My jaw clenches; I hate that he voiced the thought I’ve been having for the last few days. It feels like he has open access to my mind. We think too similarly, it’s disturbing sometimes. Even if it’s a good idea, I don’t want my people to see soldiers while I’m not there to warn them. My fingers lock around my moonstone pendant, dragging it back and forth along the chain.
“Your soldiers can cross the Fintan with mine, but they can’t go into Aestilian since I won’t be able to give my people a warning.”
Once they cross the Fintan, the most they’ll have to worry about is the Terrwyn Forest. My people have managed the dangers of the forest since the time Aestilian was founded; they can take it from there. Cayden nods his head, seeming pleased by our compromise. Something uncertain still lingers in his gaze, but I don’t want to argue with him about this, so I drop it and head up the stairs. I make it up the first two flights before the sound of heavy footsteps echoes in the corridor.
Cayden moves around me and places a hand on his sword while stepping out to see what the source of the noise is. He removes his hand from the hilt, “It’s Finnian.”
“Finnian?” I step in front of Cayden and poke my head out of the stone archway. My eyes dart to Finnian’s familiar figure sauntering down the hall. “Why are you awake so early?” It’s closer to midday than it is to morning, but Finnian always takes the opportunity to sleep in. Judging from the look of his disheveled hair, he hasn’t been awake for long.
“The guards are here,” he breathlessly informs me, slowing his pace long enough to get the words out.
“That quickly?” I turn toward Cayden. I thought I would have more time before they showed up.
“Communication always has the chance of being delayed,” he shrugs. “The soldiers that monitor the border between here, Feynadra, and Urasos were dealing with a lot of traffic due to the ball.”
The pair of us follow Finnian, turning corners and swiftly walking down hallways. Passing sitting rooms, dining rooms, and rooms filled with sculptures and paintings. We finally make it to the main hall where I first entered the castle. The sound of water trickling from the fountain is an afterthought to Ailliard’s booming laughter. I don’t know why my heart is beating so rapidly; it’s not like I’m meeting new people for the first time, but I feel like a different person. There’s nothing wrong with changing; I wanted to change, but not everyone views change as a positive thing. I feel stronger now, surer of myself and my future. I can’t pretend like I want to go back to Aestilian. Three familiar faces stand in the room alongside Ailliard—Nessa, Lycus, and Jarek. The three of us walk down the steps and round the fountain to the small gathering.
I quickly embrace Nessa and Lycus while Jarek talks to Ailliard, I would feel wrong not to. But I step back toward Cayden before I feel pressured to embrace Jarek. Instead of only standing beside him, I do what I’ve done many times before, loop my arm through his and smile. If he’s surprised, he doesn’t let on. He even bends his arm to make it look like he’s properly escorting me.
“This is Nessa and Lycus. They were two of the guards that helped me leave Imirath.” I gesture to the pair of them before retracting my hand and placing it on Cayden’s arm. “This is Commander Cayden Veles of Vareveth.”
Nessa’s thin pink lips spread into a grin, causing her deep-set eyes to crinkle. She tosses her silky raven braid over her shoulder and extends a hand in his direction, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Cayden uses his free hand to extend the same pleasantries to her, and then extends them to Lycus.
“How was the journey?” I ask.
“Uneventful,” Lycus answers in a gruff tone. Uneventful is good. I’m glad they didn’t have a repeat of my journey here. “You look well.”
“So do you,” I smile, and mean it. Both of them do.
“The elixir worked wonderfully. It’s freezing at home now, but we managed to store a decent amount of food before the first frost came,” Nessa beams. My hand subconsciously squeezes Cayden’s arm, unable to halt the gratitude coursing through me. I sneak a glance in his direction, and even though he’s not smiling, his eyes have shed some ice.
“How long will you be staying?” Cayden asks. “I can alert the servants on the way to my next meeting.”
“Only for the day. We’re going to rest and then leave tonight; we want to get the food back as soon as possible,” Nessa says. However, I have a feeling she also wants to get home to her wife, Esmeralla, one of the other guards that escaped Imirath with me. Their wedding was the first one performed in Aestilian. It was a beautiful affair in front of the lake, a bright summer day filled with flowers and mirth.
I wish a pang of sadness hit me regarding of their short stay, but I feel guilty for the relief that washes over me in its stead. Lying to Ailliard is easy; he’s just one person. It’s harder to lie to three. Ailliard thinks I’m going to the border tomorrow and staying there for an extended period to take meetings regarding the war and to gain insight into their strength and numbers. In reality, Cayden and I will be crossing the border into Imirath very soon. Ryder has been monitoring Imirath’s movements to help us scout the best place to cross. We also have plans to meet with Saskia tomorrow to finalize the route.
“Nessa! Lycus!” Ailliard calls out to his friends. “Come here quickly. I just remembered what I wanted to tell you.” They excuse themselves with warm smiles and head over in Ailliard’s direction.
My face turns to Cayden, and I find him already looking at me with open, observant eyes. “Thank you for the elixirs.”
His mouth quirks, “It was a small price to pay.”
My smile widens as I absorb his words, “I’m not a commodity.”
“No, but you are a prize.”
