Page 134 of Fear the Flames
The King and Queen of Vareveth.
He’s waiting for me to make my decision before he speaks. He always has a backup plan. But he obviously figured this out late; what if he doesn’t have one? Would a life with Cayden really be so bad? No. Not at all. It hurts to think of a future void of his presence, his happiness, his touches. I never thought that I would marry, but Cayden will be my only exception. He needs a queen, and I want power.
“I, Elowen Atarah, Queen of Aestilian and Princess of Imirath, challenge the throne alongside the Commander of Vareveth, Cayden Veles.” I feel Cayden’s shoulders relax slightly at my words, and he presses himself further into me, detaching our hands and wrapping an arm securely around my waist. He must be able to feel how fast my heart is racing.
I will marry Cayden Veles—the person I swore I could never have. This night has turned my entire life spiraling out of control, but Cayden is here, next to me, holding me upright through the storm that rages around us. Even though the beginning of our union is less than ideal, completely unorthodox, and I’m still extremely annoyed at him for not talking to me, it’s comforting to know I’ll have his presence with me through any other times like this.
“She’s practically a commoner!” one of the advisors shouts in outrage.
“Really? Do you have a link to five dragons?” Finnian joins the fight.
“They’re not even with her,” another advisor continues the spat.
“They respond to her. They’ll be here, so I suggest you remedy your attitude,” Ryder adds.
“How do you know that?” the advisor demands with a hint of fear in his tone.
“Because my father would have burned this place to the ground if they responded to him. The same way I burned Imirath soldiers to get back here and bury your reign in the ashes,” I hiss. Cayden’s hand brushes my ribs in approval.
“Perhaps your father is more merciful than you are,” Eagor chimes in.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Cayden laughs. “It’s embarrassing for you.”
“No kingdom will respect you!” Valia sobs. “You stole from a king, infiltrated his castle, and burned his soldiers. You’re a band of thieves, not esteemed figures.”
“The Band of Thieves,” Finnian snickers.
“It has a nice ring to it,” Ryder smirks.
“Tell us,King Cayden,” Eagor uses the title in a tone filled with bitterness, “did you learn of your queen’s value when you spied on her or when she opened her legs for you?”
“Careful how you speak about my fiancée. Vengeance is a promise signed in blood,” Cayden growls.
The words slam into me harder than my dragons’ tails. Gods, just when I think I’m getting solid footing, the rug is ripped out from under me again. It takes much more effort to keep my emotions free from my face. Cayden is murmuring something in my ear, something that sounds like an apology, but I can’t absorb his words. His deception twists the knife that Ailliard impaled in my back. The only thing stopping me from keeling over and vomiting is Cayden holding me up.
Cayden…spied on me.
Cayden spied on me.
The words echo over and over in my head, but they don’t sound real, and I don’t want them to be real. I try to force my breathing to remain steady, but my heart is beating so fast that I feel like my lungs can’t catch up.Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.My hand drifts up to my hip to clutch Cayden’s so nobody else can see how badly my hands are shaking. His breathing has turned ragged. He clenches his jaw, trying to contain himself, but I can see he’s losing control. He wants to explode just as much as I do. I wrap my hands tighter around him to stop myself from screaming. That’s all I want to do right now. I want to let the rage, confusion, and betrayal rip free from me. I want to banish it from my body. I feel so utterly and completely stupid.
Only years of hiding my emotions are aiding me in keeping my face blank. The inside of my head is a wasteland of vexation and fury. Cayden spied on me. I don’t know the extent of it, but he spied on me, and he didn’t tell me. Did he stop spying on me before we had sex? Our joined hands, where I felt strength moments ago, mock me.
I don’t want to be touched. I don’t want people near me right now. I don’t want to be in a castle. I want to be in an open field with nobody and nothing around me—a place where I can expel every emotion dragging me down with nobody to witness it.
The control I have over myself and the situation is slipping away from me. I need to spin this on Eagor, but I’m so exhausted. Cayden’s treachery twists my heart; his hurts more than Ailliard’s. A part of me always knew Ailliard never accepted me for who I am. Cayden made me feel heard. He made me feel understood and important. He promised me no games, but how could Eagor know we slept together? Did Cayden tell him? No. He wouldn’t. Would he? Was everything a lie? I want to grab his shoulders and shake him.
Gods, I want to turn my thoughts off.
I fight my mind; I need to get a hold of myself. I have my dragons. I can still have a kingdom. I can have power. I won’t let anyone, or anything stand in my pursuit. I’ve come too far, and I’ve sacrificed too much just to let it slip from my fingers now. I came from nothing, and now I have a kingdom ripe for my taking. A grown man feared me as an infant because I had more power than him before I could even speak.
I will shake the very stars the gods hung in the sky and crumble the mountains they forged on the earth.
My eyes cut across the space and zone in on Eagor, “Do you think I would marry him if I was not privy to that information?” I square my shoulders. “You underestimate my knowledge, and though I do love proving people wrong, you do come off a bit ignorant.”
“You would marry a man that spied on you?” Ailliard shouts his question in a shrill tone.
“My sincerest apologies, but I missed the part where your opinion still matters,” I bite out, redirecting my glare toward Ailliard. There’s a sadness in his eyes, and it only increases my anger, though I am reveling in his helplessness.
