Page 132 of Fear the Flames
“You’re more like your father than you realize. You’re both power hungry with tunnel vision; only he has more experience. He has a better chance of winning, which is why I implore you to change your mind. You’re putting the people you love in danger by staying here. Think of Finnian. He will be safer in Imirath; your father will protect him.” My father would kill Finnian or use him to manipulate me. “Your need for revenge is disgusting. Finnian will see that eventually. Nobody can love a vile creature. Be smarter than this, Elowen.”
The similarity comment burns me, and the mention of Finnian almost sends me into a rage-filled frenzy, but I don’t give him the satisfaction of acknowledging it. “I made a deal with Vareveth.”
Ailliard’s sharp laugh cuts me off. “Eagor knows exactly what I’m telling you. He wants to use you to bargain for money. He’s convincingyourcommanderright now; Cayden won’t fight a war for one woman. Just because you opened your legs for him doesn’t mean he’ll fight for you. He got what he wanted.” I hate that his comment makes me feel dirty and makes me doubt myself. No, Cayden wouldn’t send me back there. He doesn’t want peace, and he’s too smart to think that Garrick would ever even consider peace between the two kingdoms. You can’t reason with tyrants.
I’ve lost my patience with this conversation. It hurts to look at Ailliard, to hear his voice say these things. The same voice that told me I was safe while leaving Imirath, the same voice that sang happy birthday every year while in Aestilian, the same voice that taught me how to use a knife and advised my fighting skills.
I shake my head, disgust coating my features. “I’ll show you one mercy tonight,” I begin. “I will let you leave this castle with your life. Don’t go back to your room, don’t go back to Aestilian. Get on a horse and get the fuck out of my sight because if I ever see you again after you leave this room, I will bury a knife so deep in your ribs that they’ll have to bury you with it still inside of you,” I growl, stepping forward. “You are to stay away from Finnian, Cayden, Ryder, and Saskia. In my eyes, you’re as good as dead.”
The betrayal burns me from the inside out. It’s drowning me, pummeling me, bleeding me dry. I just want to get out of this damn room. I want to find the people that walked in and out of enemy territory with me and never thought once about handing me over to Garrick. Ailliard stares at me from across the room, looking at me as if he doesn’t know me. But I’m still me; I’m the same Elowen he has always known. It’s him who has changed. He stays silent for an extended beat, and my heart cracks more with every second that passes. He was the closest thing to a parent I ever had. He was never perfect, but he was there. The tension between us is so thick I can practically feel it pushing me back.
I take one last look at Ailliard, at my uncle. My throat constricts, and tears threaten to spill from my eyes, but I blink them back. I won’t let him see the pain he has caused me. My feet move toward the door, but Ailliard springs forward, and a strong hand jerks me back by the roots of my hair. A sharp shooting pain travels through my ribs when something heavy slams into me, making me feel like I can’t breathe. A solid gold candlestick clatters to the floor, and Ailliard shoots his fist in my direction, slamming it into my cheek. I fall to the ground, gasping for breath, but he drops with me, ripping the bandage off my leg and shoving his nails into the fresh cut to reopen it. Warm blood trickles down my thigh. Black spots dance in my vision, and I grit my teeth to keep my pained shriek contained in my throat. I finally shove him off me and jam my fist into his temple.
“You’re coming to Imirath with me,” he growls, scrambling to his feet and slamming the door. I hear him shove a chair under the doorknob. This room doesn’t have glass doors like the banquet room, and there are no windows. I feel like I’m a child again. Locked in a cage by those that should have loved me, that should have wanted to keep me safe. But instead, they beat me, they torture me, and they betray me.
But Ailliard is a fool in more ways than one tonight.
I’m far from who I was but have yet to become all that I am.
I force my emotions down; if I freak out now, then I’ll never get out of here. The sting of Ailliard’s betrayal is getting sharper every second he’s not in front of me. It’s easy to break down when you’re in private.He’s coming back,I tell myself, forcing my tears and nausea down. I feel like a pig raised for slaughter.
There’s no exit other than the door he blocked. I brush my fingertips over the hilt of my dagger, steadying my nerves. My hand wraps around the heavy candlestick, and I limp toward the door, slamming it into the hardwood. If I make a hole, I can reach the chair he shoved under the handle and set myself free. I slam the candlestick again, chipping the wood.
“Elowen!” a muffled voice shouts in the distance. “Elowen!”
“Ryder?” Relief floods through my chest.
“Thank the fucking gods.” His rushed footsteps halt in front of the door. It flies open a few seconds later. His troubled eyes scan my body and darken when they stop on my leg, noting the blood that now runs rampant.
“Please tell me you’re not here to kill me,” I jest while taking in his familiar features, relishing in how calming it feels to be near someone I can trust.
“I wouldn’t even attempt it,” a sad smile coats his features as he utters the words, and he opens his arms to me. I drop the candlestick and wrap my arms around him in a reassuring hug. His leather and teakwood scent surrounds me. The only people I’m sure of right now are Cayden, Finnian, Saskia, and Ryder. We were all in Imirath together, where they had multiple opportunities to hand me over to my father if that’s what they desired. Guards would have been on me in a second if they shouted my name in a public place.
“How did you know something was wrong?” I ask, pulling away from him. I’ll break the tight leash I have on my restrained emotions if I receive too much comfort.
“Eagor and Valia are known for their jealousy. Cayden told me last night that he was worried about something happening. He gave me orders to watch over you if he got pulled away.” Ryder presses a hand into my back, and we rush from the room, making a beeline for the banquet. “He’s probably going out of his mind and staying at the dinner so that Eagor doesn’t authorize any attacks on you under the guise of Cayden’s approval. Cayden knows I have eyes on you, or else he’d be tearing the castle apart to find you. Soldiers would have detained Ailliard before the two of you ever left. Cayden gave every guard orders to not let you leave the castle without him when we first got back today.”
Ryder pauses me before we enter the banquet, “If you want, I’ll station soldiers we can trust outside of your room. You don’t have to deal with this.” His eyes are sincere and unjudging, but I do want to be part of this.
“Ailliard betrayed me, and so did the Dasterians. I want to be in the middle of the mess,” I declare and shove the door open.
ChapterFifty-Four
All voices fall silent, and all heads whip in our direction when the door bangs open. Everyone is seated at the dining table, but Ailliard is nowhere in sight. Cayden’s nostrils flare when he notices my bleeding leg and plucks a knife from under his chair, throwing it at one of the advisors. He must have stashed them there earlier, considering Ryder said he was worried. Blood sprays from the hole in the advisor’s neck, marring the white linen tablecloth and collecting in the soup bowl in front of him. Cayden threw the knife so hard that it pinned the man sitting upright in his seat. Valia shrieks as the blood shoots onto her face.
“Everyone stay seated and put your hands flat on the table,” Cayden commands in a tone filled with the promise of retaliation if they don’t comply. Everyone obeys, including Eagor and Valia. The only ones to refrain are Finnian and Saskia. “I’ve never been a forgiving person, and I don’t intend on becoming one tonight,” he adds.
I glance over my shoulder and take my knife from where it’s sheathed on my thigh. I feel like Ailliard is going to swing from around the corner and put a literal knife on top of the figurative blade he impaled in my back. Ryder notes where my eyes have drifted and angles his body, so he’s protecting my backside more. My anger is slowly morphing into a revenge-induced hysteria, and a smile makes its way onto my face as I move away from the door and enter the lion’s den.
Finnian’s shoulders are rigid, and his irises are blown wide, filled with a mixture of confusion and anger. “Ailliard,” I mouth to him. His brows pinch together, and a shudder travels through his body. He runs a hand through his tousled hair, soaking in the news. Ailliard also played a large part in Finnian’s life, considering he was the one who brought Finnian back to Aestilian.
It’s a strange feeling to mourn someone who’s still breathing.
“I’m honored you think I’m so valuable,” I say to Eagor while taking the seat between Finnian and Cayden.
“What a delightful evening this has turned out to be,” Cayden grins, taking a long drag of his wine.
Finnian reaches under the table and takes my hand in his, squeezing it tightly. I don’t need Ailliard; I’ve always had Finnian. I think I lost Ailliard a long time ago, maybe I never even had him, but Finnian has always been the one person I was sure of in a sea of unknown factors. Ryder stays standing behind my chair, and Saskia moves from her seat beside Finnian to mirror Ryder’s position. Her gold-shimmering dress is the sister to mine; she had them made before we left. She wanted us to have something to come home to after the heist.
