Page 93 of Kept to Kill
‘The collar is my gift to you,’ he said. ‘Now you needn’t worry all the time.’
Lily wiped her misting eyes. ‘Thank you, Kane.’
He nodded. ‘We will be leaving at first light,’ he said. ‘But we will see each other again.’
‘What are you doing up here?’ she asked, wondering if he would tell her.
‘Just earning some coin,’ he said cryptically. His eye caught Quin’s and something passed between them. ‘We may even rejoin the Army now that our Fourth is safe. Once we have finished in the Ice Plains. What will you do?’
‘I don’t know,’ she admitted. ‘Quin told me he would unbind me from the unit if I killed those men, but …’
Kane glared at Quin, but then gave her a quick grin. ‘If you believed they would ever have let you go, you are a fool,’ he murmured, turning away and leaving her confused.
She shook her head slightly, not really understanding what he meant. She went back to the fire to sit next to Lana, noticing her staring at Bastian with an odd look on her face.
‘Kane says you leave tomorrow,’ she said conversationally.
Lana turned to her, nodding with a small smile. ‘We’ll reach the fork soon. The right will lead us further north to the Ice Plains and the left to the Strait, but I expect we’ll see each other again. Kane is very glad to have you back. He cares for you a great deal.’ She surveyed the Brothers sitting on the other side of the fire, her gaze training on Bastian again. ‘They seem to care for you a great deal as well.’
Lily’s cheeks heated. ‘I don’t think so,’ she said quietly.
‘They do.’ She reached out as her eyes fell on the collar and she took Lily’s hand gently, changing the subject. ‘I thought Kane might give that to you. I’m glad.’ She clasped Lily’s hand in hers and then let her go. ‘I still find riding all day tiring,’ she said with a small smile. ‘I’m going to get some rest.’
* * *
Kaneand his unit had left them early, taking the fork in the road that led even further north. Mal didn’t speak to any of them. Those outside his unit tended to stay away from Mad Mal, and Sorin, Viktor, and Kane had definitely kept their Fourth, Lana, away from him. He didn’t mind. Though he may not feel the urge to kill practically everyone that crossed his path these days, Mal found he still only really cared for the company of his own unit.
He glanced at Lily, who was wearing the collar that Kane had given her. They hadn’t spoken much since leaving Kitore either, but when the day was half gone and they arrived at a small stream, they decided to rest the horses for a bit.
He watched as Lily went behind a boulder for some privacy. He followed. Something wasn’t right with her. She was happy with the collar. Much of the tension that seemed to always be rolling off her had greatly diminished, but something else was weighing on her mind. He wanted to know what.
She came into view as he moved around the great rock and she startled. Her breeches were down, as she was relieving herself, and he suddenly got another view of the scars on her thighs and he recognized them for what they were.
‘Youdid them,’ he said, berating himself for not realizing sooner.
‘What?’ she asked, pulling up her clothes with a scowl. ‘Gods, Mal, I was just having a piss.’
‘The scars. You cut yourself.’
She laughed off his comments with a shake of her head. ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’
He grabbed her wrist as she turned to leave and her expression turned pleading. ‘You don’t understand,’ she said.
‘I do,’ he replied, pulling up his own shirt to show her all of his burns.
She stared at the many scars in silence for a long time. ‘How many?’ she finally asked.
He shrugged. ‘Three hundred. Stopped counting. You?’
‘Forty-four. But I’ll never have to do any again,’ she said, touching the collar around her neck.
‘Even if you kill …’ He shook his head. ‘The penance is paid with the guilt you carry. I marked myself because I felt none. If you want to hurt, I’ll do it, but not like that. Never dothatagain. If I see any more marks appear, I’ll take my belt to your arse myself,’ he said harshly.
He felt her shudder in his arms. He combed her hair back with his hands and pulled it slightly, making her gasp.
‘Want to learn to shoot?’ he asked, brandishing his bow.
‘Yes,’ she said with a shy smile.
