Page 28 of Miles. Alton & The 9:04
Chapter Ten – Tilt
Megan stood in thesmall backyard, overly pleased with how everything was turning out for her thus far.The groceries were a pocket-saver, and now she had money to buy more raw ingredients to make her teas.It didn't take her long to get the Etsy store online to open sales for downloadable digitized embroidery designs.Several of the regular quilting designs for beginner sewing in the hoop projects were moving, and in just an afternoon, she'd made a hundred dollars.It wasn't a great deal, but if the week ended that way, it wouldn't take her months to be able to pay rent.
“Whoo-hoo, Petr!Petr!”Jiminy called out.“Petr, where is your quill shedding ass hiding at?Petr, I have some carrots for you.”
“Hello,” Megan said, watching the odd man.“Are you looking for your porcupine?”
“No, I'm running around the backyard calling for a random man named Petr to come hang out with me,” Jiminy said, frowning at her.
“You don't need to be snippy,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest.“Maybe he's back over at Thom's eating his furniture again.”
“No, I checked over there,” he said.
“Where did you find him, Jim?I mean, is there a local porcupine colony nearby?He could simply be out finding him a porcupine babe to start a family,” she said, looking at Jiminy’s sad face.
Megan had a cup of tea; one she had made with her special blend of herbs and tea leaves.The man was in distress.She offered him a cup.
“Jim...let me make you a cup of tea,” she said.“I'd like to hear about you and Petr and your special bond.”
Jiminy jutted out his pointy chin, “Hey!I know when someone is poking fun at me.And It's not Jim, but Jiminy, like Jiminy Cricket.”
Megan watched his face.“You mean like the little cartoon character?”
“Yes, when I was born my mamma said I looked like a little cricket, so she named me Jiminy,” he said, taking a seat on the patio deck.
Megan went inside the small home, returning with a cup of tea and a saucer of tea cookies.It was nearing the dinner hour, and there were chicken breasts baking, but she wasn't certain if she was ready to begin sharing meals with this man, giving him the wrong idea.Instead, she decided she would listen.
“Must have been a tough childhood,” she said, passing him the tea.
“Hey, it's been a tough life,” he said, tasting the tea.“Hey!This is yummy.You know, I've had it rough.I've done all the right things in the right order, but all the wrong things keep happening to me.”
“You have a nice home, a good job, a pet porcupine, what could be so bad in your life?”
“My wife left me for my cousin Milbert,” he said.“Milbert and I played sports together in high school, and I've seen him in the shower with the water warm.He's always come up short, but she still left me for that cocktail sausage!”
Megan's blue eyes grew wide.“I'm sorry.What did you say?”
“Sophia, my wife, was a stay-at-home mom of six years,” he told her.
“You guys have kids?”
“No, which is why I couldn't figure out why she needed to stay at home.We didn't have any kids, then she decided my seed was making her uterus hostile,” Jiminy said.“That's when she had me and Thom build this house for her yoga studio to open her yoni and allow the seeds to be planted to grow.”
Megan was fully invested in his story, and she leaned forward.“Well, did it work?”
“Hey!It opened her up alright, to demons!Demons in her yoni that made her insatiable!Every day she was after me,” Jiminy said.“I hated to see her and that thing coming at me.”
“Oh, dear Lord,” she replied.“Did you ever try doing the yoga with her?”
“Hey, you know I did, but I didn't have a hostile uterus but a sorrowful sphincter, and every time I did the downward facing dog and came into a sphinx, I let out a week's work of backed up gas from her terrible cooking,” he said.“That woman was the worst wife.Just downright terrible.Couldn't clean, cook, do laundry, or make crafts.I had to buy everything.I'm glad she is gone.”
Megan watched him, seeing the sadness in his eyes.“No one aspires to be left behind, Jiminy,” she said.“My momma and that boyfriend of hers are going to figure that out next month when the rent is not paid nor the utilities.Some folks just don't know how to love, and those who do are thrown aside.”
