Page 10 of On My Side
At least, I hope it appears fearless. I do not feel fearless.
“Hi, birdie,” I say, eyes fixed on the carpet. When the hell was the last time we had this cleaned?
“Audrey?” My neck snaps up at the sound of a deep. My eyes meet Piper’s new teacher’s. He’s gazing at me like I’m a surprise, but not an unpleasant one.
“Audrey Price?” He repeats my name—myoldname—and it feels like I’ve been doused with ice water. I stumble backward. He knows me.
“Who the hell are you?” I demand, probably with more intensity than is necessary.
His face falls, and I almost feel bad, but the hard work I’ve done to protect Piper and me is being unraveled by this… this… this pretty white boy.
“You don’t recognize me?” he asks, and I manage to shake my head no. “I mean… yeah. That makes sense. It’s been a long time. His eyes go to Piper. “Fifteen years, I think.”
“Are you mydad?” Piper asks, eyes wide.
“No!” he and I exclaim at the same time.
His eyes meet mine again. “No…I’m Ren.”
I blink at him. “Ren.”
“Yeah. Ren Quinn.”
Ren Quinn? Who the hell is Ren—
I reel back as the realization hits me like a wave when you’re facing the shore. I’m forced under the surface, lungs filling with salt water as my body’s tossed around.
“No,” I say simply, shaking my head. “No.”
The Quinns were like family when I was a teenager. Mr. and Mrs. Quinn remembered and celebrated my sixteenth birthday when my parents forgot. I spent every moment I could at their house. They had eight kids so there was no lack of shouting, love, laughter…
Oh, god. The laughter.
For a long time, I’d wanted a family like theirs. I’d find someone who loved me as much as the Quinn adults loved each other and have… well, maybe not eight kids. But enough kids that our home was alwaysloud.
He blinks at me. “No?”
“No,” I repeat, forcing myself back into the present. “You are not Kat’s annoying little brother. No.”
His cheeks flush, and I want to scream because goddammithow did I not immediately recognize him as a Quinn? He literally looks like the image that would come out if you put pictures of his parents into an AI generator thing, but without the questionable ethics. His mom’s dark, wavy hair and strong nose. His dad’s freckles and eye color. Kat’s lips…
“Oh,god,” I say, taking a step back. “Youare. You need to leave.”
“Mom,” Piper hisses.
Ren continues to stare at me, all evidence of his smile gone. I feel like I’m too big for my body, somehow. Like my skin is too tight and is stretching beyond its limits to accommodate me.
“I can leave, that’s fine,” he finally responds, his voice even and the exact opposite of my shaking vocals. It’s disconcerting how unphased he seems to be at seeing me. He’s a ghost from my past, one of those bad, scary ones, and he has no idea.
“No, wait!” Piper’s on her feet, frantically looking between the two of us. “He doesn’t have to actually leave, right, Mom?” Her eyes are pleading, desperate,sad. My god, I’m embodyingmyparents. Foregoing my child’s joy and wants for selfish reasons.
“No, no, I’m sorry,” I stammer, trying to save this. “I meantIhave to leave. I have a thing today.” I’m lying out of my ass, of course. The only “thing” on the calendar for today is laundry and this lesson. I spin on my heel, trying to convince myself I’m imagining the disappointment on both of their faces.
“Mom?” Piper’s voice echoes through the cottage a few hours after I fled the scene of the crime.
“In here,” I answer feebly.
Her lesson ended two hours ago, and she’s just now getting home. I didn’t even bother looking at her location—I knew she was going to need space, and honestly, I didn’t have the energy to carewheresaid space would be taken.
