Page 33 of On My Side
How the fuck am I supposed to get through tonight?
Chapter 12
Ren
Playlist: Princess Leia's Theme | John Williams
How the fuck am I supposed to get through tonight?
I was already anxious at the idea of spending the night in such close proximity to Audrey when I’m obsessed with her, and now she comes into the living room in a dress that looks custom made for her body. I’ve seen morning Audrey in her pajamas, glasses, and messy top knot, the poised and professional work Audrey, mom Audrey who always has something from Piper on her person… but this?
This feels like Audrey, no adjectives needed.
And Audreyshines. The dress cascades over her curves, making them even more evident, and god, I want to lose myself in them; to find every dimple and roll and become so lost I forget my own name.
“Hi,” I wheeze. Goodgod, why do I sound like an unnerved caveman? It’s my job to bring people to their knees by talking to them, and I’m ridiculously close to falling to mine and begging her for whatever she deems me worthy of. I clear my throat and try again. “Hi, Audrey. Good to see you.”
She smiles. “Good to see you too. Thanks again for doing this for Piper.”
Piper. Right. This is for Piper. Her child. Who is currently right beside me. Right.
“Yeah, um. Of course. Thanks for agreeing to come,” I say awkwardly, rubbing my thumb along the links of my gold chain hidden beneath the collar of my shirt. If I didn’t know better, I’d say Audrey’s eyes follow the movement.
Unfortunately, I do know better.
“Can we get ice cream after the concert?” Piper asks as I open the front door.
“As long as it’s okay with your mom,” I respond.
“Fine by me,” Audrey says, skirt swishing around her gorgeous legs as she walks past me and through the door. I’m immediately hit with the scent of coconut I’ve come to expect on her, but also something new. Jasmine, I think.
I shake myself out of my horny, scent-induced haze and close the door behind me. Audrey locks it while Piper is already clamoring into the backseat of my Corolla. I try to keep my eyes off Audrey, but my nose betrays me.
She turns around and her brow furrows. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Why?”
She shakes her head. “Sorry, your face… I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
I exhale heavily. I could lie. Ishouldlie. “No, uh, sorry. It’s… you smell different. I was trying to figure it out.”
What a creepy thing to come out of my mouth.
Audrey doesn’t freak out the way I think she should, and instead begins to panic for a different reason. “Is it too much? I never wear perfume but Piper saved her money and bought it for me for Christmas and insisted I wear it tonight and…”
“Fuck, I’m sorry.” I should be embarrassed I cursed in front of a parent, but it doesn’t feel wrong in front of Audrey the way it feels in front of everyone else.
So many things should and don’t feel wrong with her.
“It’s not too strong… I was trying to figure it out. You know, six sisters. They… uh… smell different.”
I amsucha dweeb.
This calms her though, and she exhales.
“I like it,” I say, inexplicably. “A lot,” I add because I’m a glutton for humiliation.
But then her eyes brighten, almost like she knows a secret no one else does, and she blushes. It may be the greatest accomplishment of my life. “Thank you,” she says softly, averting her gaze to the ground. “It’s jasmine, I think. God, I was nervous about wearing it. About wearing all of this.” She waves her hand around her body, as if indicating she’s nervous about everything on her body.
