Page 141 of On My Side
I furrow my brow. “Kat, we’re not friends. We haven’t been friends in well over a decade. Why do you think I’d understand you over your family?”
“Because you’re the only person I know who was brave enough to do the opposite of what was expected of her. Because I want to be like you. And I think you’re the last person who knew me—like, really, truly knew me—before I became Steve’s.”
My stomach drops. “He hurt you.” It’s not a question, and she knows it.
But still, she shakes her head. “No, he never touched me…”
“Abuse is more than physical harm. He hurt you, emotionally.”
She nods in resignation. “Yeah. We’ve been trying to get pregnant for a few years, but were never able to conceive. With every negative pregnancy test, he became angrier and more aggressive. It’s like he married me to use me as an incubator, and when I couldn’t fulfill my purpose, I was worthless to him.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “You can stay free of charge as long as you need to,” I promise. “You’re safe now, okay? But you need to at least tell Ren that you’re here so he can tell your family you’re safe. No one else needs to know, but I can’t lie to him, and they deserve to at least know you’re safe.”
She shakes her head. “Okay. But, Audrey, I can’t stay for free.”
“You’re going to tell me Steve doesn’t have access to your finances?” I ask.
“I withdrew cash to pay for my stay.”
I shake my head. “I don’t care. I’m not charging you. You’re going to need money for the divorce.”
“Audrey,” Kat meets my eyes and my stomach sinks when I realize what she’s going to say. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
“I need you to say why,” I say, mouth dry. “You owe me that, at least.”
She nods. “I’m sorry for kissing you. I’m sorry I kissed you and blamed you for it and pushed you away. I’m sorry I didn’t reach out when I heard about the pregnancy, or said anything to you at school.”
The memories replay like a movie. The night we’d been watchingVampire Diaries, laughing and joking around when she’d suddenly cupped my face and planted her mouth on mine.
I was so surprised. She was my best friend… but it felt good. Right. I kissed her back. When she pulled away, she looked at me like I was disgusting. Like she hadn’t initiated the kiss. She demanded I leave and I obliged, too confused and hurt to fight back.
This is the first time we’ve spoken since.
“That was a fucked up thing to do.” I say in response, because honestly? I’d dreamed about saying it to her for sixteen years. “I never would have done that to you, and you know it.”
She winces, but nods. “You’re right. And I don’t have excuses, but I am sorry I did it. I was so scared about what it all meant.”
“What did it all mean?”
“I don’t know,” she admits feebly. “I still haven’t figured it out. I’ve been too busy trying to be the perfect wife, but that obviously didn’t go the way I’d hoped. None of it went the way I hoped.”
“It’s not too late for things to go the way you hope,” I say, thinking about how long it took for me to truly be happy with my life. God, it feels too new to be happy. Too soon. “You just have to open yourself to the possibility.”
Chapter 47
Ren
Playlist: Carry You Home (feat. Ella Henderson) | Alex Warren, Ella Henderson
Piper takes an aggressive bite out of her burger, and I eye her cautiously.
She stayed home from school, but kept herself busy by continuously texting me things she needed. What she “needed” was burgers from Queenie’s and about twelve different types of ice cream. “I hate this show,” she grumbles through her mouthful of food. I nod to placate her, deciding not to mention the fact thatGilmore Girlswas on when I got here.
I check my phone, pleased to see a text from Audrey.
Audrey
on my way home, how’s she doing?
