Page 138 of On My Side
But right now, Piper is staring at me, eyes filled with tears, and I know I can’t let myself feel what I want to, because Piper’s already feeling it.
I force a smile, and move to sit on the edge of the bed. “Hey, I’m just glad you’re okay,” I say, meaning every word. While I’m absolutely devastated at the possibility of Leia being gone, I don’t know if I could survive if something worse had happened to Piper.
Piper’s lip trembles, and the movement causes the chocolate pudding to drop from her chin to her lap. I take a napkin and dab the remaining pudding off her face. “Do you hate me?”
“I don’t hate you,” I promise. “Piper, when your mom called… I was terrified. You’re so important to me, and the idea of you alone, and not knowing if you were okay…” I clear my throat, frantically blinking away the tears filling my eyes. “It was one of the most terrifying moments of my life.”
“I’m sorry I told them you were my dad,” she whispers. “I was scared they wouldn’t let you in otherwise.”
“God, Pipe. I would have caused a scene if they didn’t. Full on Karen, throwing papers and demanding a manager.”
This at least gets a small smile out of her. “That sounds like what a dad would do,” she says cautiously. “Even if you’re not biologically my dad. But Luke would do that for Rory if she needed it. I’ve never had one, so maybe I’m wrong, but sometimes it feels like you’re my dad. It didn’t feel like I was being dishonest.”
It takes everything in me to not dissolve into sobs. Instead, I smile tearily at her. “You’re right. That does sound like something a dad would do.”
Chapter 45
Audrey
Playlist: Happy Accidents | Saint Motel
Ren
i got her, sweetheart. I’m with her. We’re waiting on discharge papers, and then i’ll take her home.
Audrey
she’s gonna be okay?
Ren
she’s gonna be okay.
My heart is breaking, and it’s lying in Bridgeport Hospital while I’m desperately trying to get back to it. To her.
I can’t even find it in me to care that I'm leaving the conference early. While I had a wonderful weekend and don’t regret going, my family will always come first. That’s where my heart is.
I trust Ren, but he’s never had to deal with a crisis like this on his own. When Piper got her period, I was able to get there quickly, but this time, I had no choice but to trust he’d takecare of my girl until I could. I know he’s a teacher and he’s responsible for groups of children on a daily basis, and I’ve been trusting him with Piper during lessons.
But for so long, I kept Piper and myself hidden because I didn’t trust anyone not to hurt us. I’ve never not been there for her during an emergency. But part of trusting Ren with my heart means trusting him with the daughter who owns so much of it.
After an Uber ride from the train station, I’m quietly unlocking the door to the cottage, in case Piper’s sleeping.
“We should be looking for Leia,” Piper says from the living room. I freeze and, like a terrible mom, listen into their conversation.
“I told you. I’m not going anywhere,” Ren responds. Even in one of the worst moments of my life, his voice is a balm. “And you’re certainly not going anywhere, either.”
“But we have to look for her! It’s all my fault that she ran away! If I hadn’t fallen, she wouldn’t be missing. I’mscared, Ren.”
My stomach sinks as the pieces come together. Leia must have been with Piper when she crashed, and got away. Poor Ren, he loves that damn cat.
“I’m going to be honest with you,” Ren says, and the couch springs squeak as he adjusts himself. “I’m scared, too. I love Leia as much as you do, and I’m scared something happened to her. She has a microchip, and my family and Will are putting signs up around town, but besides that, there’s not much I can do. What Icando, however, is remind you to take your meds at the right time and elevate your foot. Leia matters to me, Pipe. But you do, too.”
“Would you still be here if you weren’t embarrassingly in love with my mom?” Piper asks, and I bite back a smile.
“Yes,” Ren responds, not missing a beat, unlike my heart, which has missed several in the last few seconds. “Because I loveyou, too. And one of the reasons I’m embarrassingly in love with your mom is because you’re a part of her.
“So much of her heart belongs to you. Her love for you and your love of her helped make her the woman I have the honor of being in love with. She’s her because you’re you, and because you’re hers. And it feels like… you’re mine too.”
