Page 117 of On My Side
“It feels silly, but I want to show you this. Because I know you’ll be good to me, Ren. I know you won’t run or be put off by me. That you’ll still find me beautiful and still want me.”
I inhale shakily as I step back so he can see me. All of me.
Instead of looking down like I expect him to, Ren surprises me by keeping his deep green eyes on mine. “Sweetheart.” His voice is soft and filled with the devotion I’ve only heard in his audios. “Nothing could make you less beautiful. You’re beautiful because you’re you. I love your body because I love you.”
That was rude as fuck because I want this man to look at my tits and get it over with but he’s reciting the most romantic and loveliest poetry, words I never dreamed I’d hear.
“Is it okay if I look?” he asks, and something about him asking for my consent despite me being the one initiating breaks me. He’s giving me an out.
“Yes,” I whisper, and my legs tremble as slowly his eyes move downward. I watch as his eyes land on my breasts and he exhales shakily.
“Fuck,” he whispers. “Audrey, you’re perfect. How are you so perfect?”
It feels like my veins are filled with melted gold, spreading warmth from the top of my head to my toes. “Touch me, baby.”
His hand slowly moves up my side, my breath hitching when his thumb gently strokes the side of my breasts.
“I know they’re saggy and…” I begin.
“Audrey, they’re breasts. They nourished your daughter and yeah, they changed because of that, maybe in a way you don’tlove. But when I look at you, I see my best friend, the most caring and generous person I know. The woman who gave her body for her daughter, when no one gave anything for her when she needed it. I see generosity and care and tenderness and the fact that I get to be loved by you is better than anything I could have dreamt of.”
He cups my breast in his hand, and I shiver as he swipes his thumb over my nipple, which puckers and aches at the attention. “Can I kiss you here, sweetheart?”
“Mmhmm,” I manage to say. He ducks his head and flicks my left nipple with his tongue while cupping the right in his hand, using his thumb to show the same care and attention.
I gasp at the sensation, so different from when I touch myself. I weave my fingers through his hair as he gently scrapes my nipple with his bottom teeth before sucking it into his mouth. I cry out. My god, I didn’t know this feelingexisteduntil now, and I only want to experience it with him.
He gazes at me through his unfairly long lashes as he swirls his tongue around the aching peak, and I nod frantically to show him I’ll gladly take whatever he wants to give me.
He releases my nipple and lifts his head. He leans forward, brushing the tip of his nose against mine before he takes my lower lip between his.
This man makes me feel more alive and in tune with my body than I ever have.
This manlovesme.
“Ren,” I whimper. “I need you, baby. Please.”
“You have me, sweetheart,” he answers, and while the sentiment is so sweet, that’snotwhat I meant.
How the do I tell him I need him to fuck me? I don’t want to wait until we’re back at the cottage, I need him inside me as soon as humanly possible.
“No, I… I want you inside me. Now.”
Okay, that wasn’t as hard as I’d thought it would be.
Ren freezes, and maybe I should’ve taken the time to find less forceful words.
“Sorry,” I say, embarrassed by how fucking needy I am for him. “I should…”
“Don’t youdareapologize for telling me what you want,” he says, voice husky and deep and reminding me of Sky. But this isn’t Sky, this is Ren, the man I love, who is infinitely better than my fantasies. “I left the condoms in the car. I was hoping this would happen soon and thought it would happen at your place and…” He trails off, his face reddening profusely.
I bite my lip to keep from smiling, but I don’t think it works. “I have an IUD, and you said you’ve been tested recently, right?
“Yeah,” Ren assures me. “You have, too?”
I nod.
“But I don’t want you to feel like you have to—”
