Page 103 of On My Side
She laughs. “Are you serious?Youmake me want to be braver.”
I go to kiss her again, but she cups my cheek. “Ren,” she says slowly. “How would you feel about telling Piper?”
My heart is a stone skipping on the surface of the ocean. “About us?” I clarify, and she nods. “Are you sure? I promise there’s no rush.”
“I trust you, and I trust her. I’m scared, but like I said: you make me want to be brave.”
My heart is in my throat when I rest my forehead against hers.I love you, my pounding heart screams.I love you. I love you.I’m almost certain she can hear the pounding in my chest.
“Let’s tell her before dinner tomorrow.”
Audrey’s returning smile is radiant. “She’s gonna be so happy,” she whispers. “I’mso happy.”
Happy feels too small a word for the way my chest is expanding.
Piper and I are on the couch waiting for Audrey. We were supposed to leave twenty-two minutes ago, and Piper’s ignoring me because she’s mad I didn’t bring Leia. She keeps glaring at me out of the corner of her eye when I bounce my leg, and it’s been happening often. I don’t know why I’m concerned about Audrey taking a long time to get ready. People are allowed to take a long time. It’s no big deal.
But it’s Sunday and I’m taking her and Piper to dinner at my parents’.
I’m a nervous wreck.
Not about her, obviously, but about how my family will behave. How they’ll treat her. But mostly, I’m nervous about sharing Piper and Audrey with them. This is the first time mineand Audrey’s relationship won’t solely beours. Other people are being let into our little world.
“Do you want to go check on your mom?” I ask Piper in what I hope is a casual tone.
“No, but I thinkyouwant to go check on my mom,” she responds, eyes trained on her phone.
“I want to make sure she’s okay,” I argue, cheeks flushed from her call out.
“Then go make sure she’s okay,” she answers, slumping further down on the couch.
“I think I’ll—”
“Mom!” Piper yells, making me jump. “Are you okay? Mr. Q’s nervous.”
“I’ll be out in a minute!” Audrey responds.
“I think, uh. If you want. You can. Uh. You can maybe… uh. Call me Ren?” I say, nervously rubbing my chain between my fingers. “Since, you know, we see each other outside of class quite a bit. I feel like I’m less your teacher and more your…”
“Dad?” Piper finishes, peering up with hope in her eyes.
Fuck.
I don’t know what to say, because how do I tell her that yes, I care about her differently than any of my other students. I feel a grief at missing most of her life, like I belonged there in the first place. Sometimes I wonder if this is how Dad feels about us.
“I…”
“Sorry, sorry,” Audrey says, coming into the living room and I try not to moan when I realize she’s wearing the perfume again. “My hair wasn’t behaving.”
“I can tell,” Piper says dryly, finally looking away from her phone to look at her mom.
Audrey’s hand flies to her hair. “You can?”
“Be nice,” I warn teasingly, playfully, knocking my shoulder against Piper’s.
“Stop being my mom’s knight in shining armor,” she teases, nudging my shoulder back.
I peer at Audrey, who smiles softly while watching us, a cardigan draped over her arm. “You two are such drama llamas,” she says affectionately, ruffling Piper’s hair.
