Page 28 of On My Side
She doesn’t sound even a little bit sorry.
“I’m sorry,” she repeats. “You used to sleep with that robot plush…”
“His name is R2-D2.”
“And if you weren’t watchingStar Wars, you were playing with those toys or or you were playing ‘The Imperial March’ on the piano or…”
“Thank you, I get it,” I interrupt. Curse these Irish genes, I canfeelthe heat radiating inward from my face. “First of all, they’re collectible action figures. Second, I wasgoingto tell you I bought you a ticket, too.”
Her laughter stops short and she stares at me. “You… what?”
“I got you a ticket to the Nerd Concert.”
“But… I don’t…” She bites her plush lower lip and looks around, like people are listening in to our riveting conversation about me being a giant ass nerd. “I don’t know music. I don’t know if I’d fit in…”
“It’s open to the public,” I say before she can finish her self-deprecating sentence. “It’s not going to be a bunch of like… high brow patrons of the arts.”
She stares at me like I’m absurd. “It’sYale.”
“Hey,” I say, softening my voice. It seems to affect her somehow and she blinks at me repetitively. “I bought it because I thought you’d be more comfortable if you were there, too, and… and I want you to come.” My face is burning again.
She’s surprised by this. “You do? Why?”
“You were a part of my life for a really long time, Audrey. I don’t know why you stopped coming around, and yeah, you were mean and scary but you never told my mom about the Princess Leia picture you found under my bed and… I want to get to know you. You’re not as terrible at interacting with people as you think you are.” Saying it out loud sounds so silly, so inconsequential and unimportant.
“You couldn’t take Piper alone?” Audrey asks, and it feels like she’s pleading with me.
“Think of it as therapy homework. Baby steps to being friends.”
“You can be alone with Piper and still be my friend,” she insists.
“Audrey, I refuse to be alone with students, ever. In private, in school. The other option is you taking her alone.”
She stares at me. “That wouldn’t be fair to you, though. You bought the tickets.”
I shrug. “Either the three of us go, or I give you the tickets for you and Piper to go, if you’d rather. But Piper and I going alone is off the table.”
She inhales shakily. “Okay. I’ll go with you guys to your damn nerd concert.”
Both of us have finished eating, so the next natural step is for me to thank her and head home. But I don’t want to leave; I want to stay and keep talking to her, keep learning about her. I want to ask about her aunt’s death, and Piper’s first word. I want to know her.
“I, um. I have to get to the inn,” Audrey says. “I hate to kick you out.”
“Can I at least wash the dishes?” I ask.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to do it.”
She smiles softly, but like the Audrey in the photo, it doesn’t meet her eyes.
I wonder what it’ll take for her eyes to glimmer again, for her to remember the secret that only she knew.
I don’t know, but I’m determined to find out.
Chapter 10
Audrey
