Page 120 of On My Side
“I’m tired of letting fear and shame and anxiety call the shots,” I interrupt, voice cracking. “I’m sick of hiding and not doing the things I want to do, live the life I want to live.”
“The things you want to do? Liiiike me?” he says in a teasing tone, and I can’t help but crack a smile.
“I certainly want to do you. But, like… even going out with you in public. Or going out in public in general. Loving you. Letting myself be loved by you.” I melt even more somehow when he presses his lips to the crown of my head. “I want to live, Ren. I want to love and…”
“Laugh?” he offers.
“What?”
“You want to live, laugh, love?”
This time, I don’t try to stop the eyeroll. “Dweeb.”
“I wanna make you smile, Aud. Your brain’s being so mean to you, and I want to love you and make you smile through it.”
I lift my head and meet his eyes. “I want to have sex with you. I don’t… my anxiety is the one that doesn’t.”
“Are you anxious you’ll get pregnant again?” he asks, voice kind.
I think about it for a moment, surprised at the answer I find. “No,” I say slowly. “No… I’ve always wanted more kids, always wanted someone to build a family with. I couldn’t do it on my own again, but I’m not on my own anymore. I have you.”
I cup his cheek with my hand and he leans into it, the pressure of his presence calming. “I mean… I’d rather wait a bit. Like, maybe when Piper’s in college. But I think that’s something I might want. With you. If you want it. And the thing is… the unexpected seems less terrifying when I have you to hold my hand when I navigate it.”
“I want that with you, too.” he says softly, and my heart blooms in my chest. “I’d get you pregnant right now if you’d let me.”
“Okay, breeding kink,” I tease. “Settle down.”
His smile is radiant. “I told you, I’ll wear a condom if you want me to. But I’m gonna be honest with you, Aud, the idea of filling you and watching your body grow our next baby.” Ren exhales heavily and shakes his head. “It’s doing it for me.”
I kiss him to shut him up, because to be completely honest, it’s doing it for me, too.
“Also, I should let you know I’m not going to fuck you,” Ren murmurs against my lips. “It’s gonna be slow and luxurious. I’m going to take my time giving youexactlywhat you need, learning what makes you make those pretty noises for me. I’m going tolearn your body the same way I learned the piano, discovering what sound each touch elicits.”
I shiver, unbelievably turned on by this man and his filthy mouth. The filthy mouth that makes so many people come, gives so many people pleasure.
Tonight, he’s all mine.
Chapter 39
Ren
Playlist: Be More | Stephen Sanchez
Audrey is currently naked in my bed. Hands pressed to my chest, her legs bracketing my hips, and her pupils dilated. Because ofme.
I’ve definitely had a wet dream about this before.
She squeals as I flip us, her stormy gray eyes wide as I take in her body yet again. “I think I need to get my glasses again…”
“Ren,” she giggles, planting her hands on my chest. “Please. I need you.”
I climb off the bed, grasping my dick in my hand and firmly tugging as she rolls onto her belly, wiggling her perfect ass and making my cock drip with pre-cum.
I reach to the head of the bed and grab a pillow. “Lift your hips for me, sweetheart,” I murmur.
She groans as she does what I ask. “God, I’vedefinitelyheard Sky say that in an audio,” she groans while doing what I ask. “Was it the one where he runs into his ex at her shithead ex’s party and sneak into the shithead ex’s room and fuck…”
“On his bed?” I finish, sliding the pillow beneath her hips. “Damn, you may be his biggest fan.”
