Page 53 of Beyond Montana's Sky
At first, Edith and Ben mostly remained silent, as did Henry, while Mildred chatted about her plans for the next few days. The courses were mainly seafood, a treat after a diet heavy of beef, chicken, game meat, and occasionally trout. Her son ate his favorite foods with a hearty appetite, although Edith enjoyed her meal in a dainty lady-like manner.
“Tomorrow, you’ll need to rest, of course,” Mildred proclaimed. “In the evening, we’ll have Julia and the girls over for supper.” She bestowed a doting smile upon Ben. “Your aunt and cousins are eager to see you again.”
He nodded and took a bite of cod.
“Then, starting Monday, back to school for you. You’re already enrolled. I’m sure you’re anxious to get back to your studies. You’ll have a lot of catching up to do.”
Ben straightened, an annoyed expression on his face, obviously about to protest the jab at Mrs. Gordon, his beloved teacher in Sweetwater Springs.
Edith caught his eye and slightly shook her head. She took a sip of wine.
“We won’t receive any callers, of course—” Mildred cut a sideways glance to Edith “—until we bring your wardrobe up to par.”
“No need to wait, Mama.” Edith set down her wine glass. “I’ve always ordered everything from Donatella’s. She has my measurements and shipped the items to Sweetwater Springs.”
“I’m sure what you have is suitable for a more…simplisticlifestyle. However, that wasn’t what I meant.” Mildred eyed Edith’s maroon tea gown with censure. “Indeed, I was quite shocked to see you weren’t in black.”
Edith gave her a determinedly sweet smile. “That’s probably because you only saw me wearing black from right after Nathaniel’s death until we moved.” Once in Sweetwater Springs, she’d changed to half-mourning instead of waiting out a whole year in black and a few weeks later moved to other colors.
I can’t return to full mourning, or even half-mourning, except maybe wearing purple or mauve. If the toxic dye doesn’t kill me, Dr. Angus will.
Edith was eager to plunge into activities and lift the heaviness weighing on her chest that felt too much like heartache. She hadn’t considered wearing black for the death of a brother-in-law.
Suddenly, Edith felt self-conscious in maroon, and her appetite vanished. No matter what she said or did to navigate this tricky situation, she would cause upset and disapproval, which certainly wasn’t her intention.
“You’ll need black apparel, of course.” Mildred sent another censorious glance at Edith’s dress. “It’s not quite six months since George’s death. And, as you know, because we’re in mourning, we’re not entertaining.”
Edith picked up her wine glass and took another sip. “Four months have passed, which is the proper limit to wear black for a brother,” she said tactfully.
Mildred placed a hand on her ample bosom. “But you’re a widow!” she blurted.
“I was ayoungwidow.” Edith inhaled a bracing breath. This wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have on her first night back. “Nathaniel died five years ago. In my heart, I will always grieve his loss. However, my time for outwardly mourning him is past.”
Henry raised his bushy eyebrows. “Are you intending to marry again?”
She strove for a diplomatic answer. “I don’t want to live the rest of my life alone.”
“But you’re not alone.” Mildred’s hand fluttered. “You have Ben. You have us.”
Inwardly, Edith stiffened, but she didn’t allow her countenance or her body to display any hint of annoyance. She’d well learned how to deal with Mildred in the years of her marriage to Nathaniel. She strove to hide her misery with her in-laws, showing a face of equanimity to the world.
For the most part, she hadn’t even shared her unhappiness with her husband. She’d never wanted to place him in the position of having to choose between his wife and his parents. As it was, Nathaniel was quick enough to reprimand Mildred or Henry when they made the mistake of digging at Edith in his presence. The strain led to a quarrel, which caused the newlyweds to move from the Graysons’ home into an elegant, row house of their own.
If I weren’t the mother of your grandson, I wouldn’t be here now, because you would not have invited me to live with your family.
Edith made herself smile at the Graysons, and then more genuinely at her son. “I’m truly grateful to have you all. However, Ben is growing up, and I don’t intend to impose on your hospitality forever.” She hadn’t intended to hint at buying her own home so soon.But, goodness, they are pushing me into this conversation.
Her in-laws exchanged pained glances.
Edith soldiered on. “I would like the comfort of a life companion, and I understand you won’t be entertaining. However, since I’m not in mourning, I will be attending social events. Aunt Agatha has planned a tea party in a few days to reintroduce me to some of the ladies.”
Tears welled in Mildred’s eyes. “My life wasn’t supposed to be this way. My children dead.” She dabbed her eyes with her napkin.
Edith’s throat tightened. She glanced at her son, grateful for his health. She couldn’t even imagine the pain her in-laws must endure on a daily basis for the rest of their lives. “So tragic,” she murmured in a compassionate tone, reaching to grasp Mildred’s forearm in commiseration, squeezing gently before letting go.
Mildred gave Edith a tremulous smile, obvious gratitude in her eyes.
Perhaps, I can be of some consolation.
