We all laugh for a moment before reality seeps back in.
“I should have ended things a long time ago.” Preston sighs heavily. “I just, fuck.” He runs a hand over his face. “I just didn’t want to make you a bigger target than you already were.” Preston looks to me. “I felt like it was a lose-lose situation. If I told my dad, he would take it out on you. If I kept up the charade, I was hurting you by keeping us a secret.”
“Hey,” I say softly. “It was a hard situation. One I can’t even imagine being in. I’m not mad, and I don’t blame you. But... What about your dad now? I’m sure Tina has gone and run her mouth to her parents.”
“He’s been blowing up my phone.” Preston looks away, and my stomach sinks. “I’m going to have to deal with him sooner or later.” He turns back to me. “But I don’t regret it. If I could kill the bitch myself, I would. And I’m so fucking sorry for the things she did to you because of her sick obsession with me. You didn’t deserve any of that, and I should have done better to keep her from doing the shit she did.”
“No more talking about things we can't change. It is what it is. She’s an evil person. She was planning on doing what she wanted, no matter what anyone said or did.”
“So,” Grayson says. “Any more stuff hiding in your closet?” Grayson jokes. But when he sees I’m not smiling, his face falls. “Shit. There is. What else aren’t you telling us, Sadie?” his voice is harder now. He might be the jokester of the group, but I know this scared him just as much as it did everyone else.
My eyes fall on Declan. He gives me a soft smile, but I see the pain in his eyes.
Pain spikes in my chest. I don’t want to think about this part of my past; it hurts too much. There’s still so much fuzziness revolving around that night that still haunts me. Things I may never get answers to.
“A few summers ago, I was at a party. I got really drunk, or maybe I was drugged, I don’t know.” I close my eyes, unable to look at any of them while reliving my horrors. “I ended up in one of the rooms where Raymond’s friend felt like it was his right to touch what didn’t belong to him.” My voice cracks, and I can feel the energy around me shift. “I don’t remember a lot of that night, just bits and pieces. All I remember is being scared, in pain, and helpless.”
“You were raped?” Preston’s voice shakes, and he sounds like he’s seconds away from all hell breaking loose.
“That’s something I’ll never know. I don’t know if he penetrated me.” I swallow hard, a nauseous feeling taking over me. “But I do know he assaulted me in some way.” My eyes find Declan’s red ones. “And if it wasn’t for Declan, I think that night would have ended a lot worse.”
Preston’s eyes snap to his boyfriends. “What the fuck does that mean?” he growls in a demand.
Declan’s face falls. “I-I-I ah, I found her and took her home.”
“What!?” Preston shouts. “And you didn’t tell me?!”
“I.. I..” Declan struggles to speak, panic and fear on his face.
“Hey,” I raise my voice. “Do not get mad at him, do you understand me? He saved me. He is not the bad guy in this case. Lionel is.”
All eyes turn my way because I've never said the name of my attacker to anyone.
“Lionel Walker?” Collin asks slowly. “That’s who did this to you? Why the fuck didn’t you tell me, Sadie!? I should have pushed for his fucking name when you told me.” Collin runs his hand through his hair. “Fuck!”
“You fucking knew too!?” Preston yells.
“No. Yes. Fuck. No, I didn't know what happened to her. At least not when it happened. She told me a few months ago.”
“Fuck!” Preston shouts, grabbing the bottle of water from the tray nearby and throwing it at the wall. “I’m so fucking sick of everyone knowing things and keeping it from me!”
“I didn’t fucking know shit,” Grayson adds in. “And you don’t see me losing my fucking mind.”
“Stop,” I beg. “Please, I’m sorry. I didn’t tell anyone who it was, okay? Please, just stop."
“Sadie, Lionel is under suspicion of multiple rapes,” Collin says.
“I know.” My eyes well with tears.
“Sadie, baby,” Grayson’s voice is thick with emotion.
“I don’t want to think about it,” I plead with him.
“He could have raped you,” Preston growls.
“I know,” I sob. “You don’t think I know that? I’m the lucky one. Unlike all the other girls. Because I don’t remember. I don’t have to live with what they do.”
“That doesn’t diminish your pain, Sweetheart," Declan says.