Page 75 of You, Me, and Forever

“I do. I want to get married and have a family. I always wished for a sibling when I was growing up, so I’d like to have at least two kids. And I didn’t grow up with a mama, so I’d like to be one. I spent so many years when I was young dreaming about what it would be like to have a mom, you know? Like all the other kids in my class. And I guess it made me realize that just because I didn’t experience it as a child, I could still experience those feelings as a mother.”

His gaze locked with mine, soft and full of empathy. “You’ll be a great mom. And from my experience, sometimes it’s better not to have someone in your life if they aren’t going to show up. My father was a shitty dad, and having him around did not enrich my life. Sure, he provided for me. I’m not taking away from that. But he was verbally abusive and dominant and disrespectful to my mother. So, maybe himbeing absent would have been better. I would have found a way to make money whether I was born into it or not.”

“I never thought about it that way. I was lucky to have the best dad, you know? He stepped up and did the job of two parents, and I never felt like I wasn’t loved a day in my life.”

“Then you were already winning,” he said, holding up his board to look at the porcupine and the lion and the sports car and the mountains and the photo of downtown New York.

“I think so.”

“So I’m curious now—seeing as you’re a wedding planner, do you want to have an enormous wedding when you find your fairy-tale prince on a white horse?”

Forget the prince on a white horse.

I’d take the broody billionaire in a Tesla if it were up to me.

“Actually, no. I already have my entire wedding planned out. And I’m not looking for a prince on a white horse, which you probably know, considering you met my narcissistic ex-boyfriend.” I chuckled. “I want to get married on the river with the mountains behind us, and just my groom and me. I don’t want a show; I want a marriage. A life. A happy life. With a family that I love, and that’s enough for me. Throw in a porch swing, and I’m a happy girl.”

Is it weird that we’re talking about this?

“You must have a song, though. What’s your wedding song?”

“You know how everyone picks these traditional wedding songs about this perfect life or finding your soulmate, and though I like those songs, they just aren’t what I’d want to represent my wedding. I’d go with something more raw. Something that spoke to me.”

“You know you’ve already picked it. What is it?” He smiled as if this was a riveting conversation.

“Well, I’d go with ‘I Remember Everything,’ by Zach Bryan.” I pulled the song up on his phone so it would connect to his speaker. “Listen to these lyrics.”

The soulful sound of Zach’s voice was raw, and Myles listened intently. “It doesn’t sound like they’re together.”

“Maybe they are, or maybe they’re not. Maybe they break up and get back together because they can’t live without one another, who knows? But it’s the lyrics and his voice that speak to me. The man singing this song can’t live without the woman he’s singing about. He doesn’t want to remember every detail about her—in fact he wishes that he didn’t—but he does. And then she sings about her pain, too, right? They beg each other to stay, because they don’t want their time together to end. It’s that kind of love that destroys you and puts you back together. I think they’re true soulmates. And I’ve never experienced that kind of intensity, and I think when I promise myself to someone for the rest of my life—I’ll feel this way.”

He just listened to the lyrics and nodded. “I like it. There’s no bullshit in your wedding song, Honey Badger. It’s raw and emotional. Good for you. You know what you want.”

I smiled and shook my head. I’d never shared this with anyone, and I loved that he didn’t judge me for what I wanted. Just like I wouldn’t judge him either.

“Thank you. I’m glad you agree.”

He played the song on repeat, and we continued listening to it.

“So what about a catchy wedding phrase for your big day? Your very own hashtag?” He thought it was hilarious that we used our big whiteboard in the office to brainstorm wedding slogans and hashtags for our couples.

I came across a photo of New York City, and I cut it out. I’d only been there once, and it was short and sweet, but I’d loved the energy of the city. And Myles lived there, so maybe I wanted a piece of him on my vision board.

“Nope. I think I’ve had to come up with too many to ever want to do it for myself. And since I don’t plan to have an actual wedding, and it would just be me and my sexy groom, we wouldn’t really need a slogan. But I do have my hashtag picked out, just for shits and giggles.”

“‘Shits and giggles,’ huh?” He smirked before studying my board. “Tell me what it is.”

“It would be bad luck to tell anyone their wedding hashtag before telling my groom what it is.”

He looked up at me, his eyes moving to where I’d just glued a photo of NYC on my vision board. He had the mountains and the water on his, so I had a feeling he liked Blushing more than he let on, just like I’d enjoyed New York more than I’d expected to.

“Come on, Montana. You’ve got to tell me.” He took a sip of wine. “We aren’t going to speak after I leave, so it’s not like I’m going to tell anyone.”

“Fine. You get three guesses. If you can get one of the words, I’ll tell you what it is. Even though you might be jinxing my future nuptials by making me tell you.”

“Hmm ... let me dive into that overthinking head of yours. You’re overly positive about everything that doesn’t involve me, so it will be filled with all the sappy mojo. It must not involve names, because you don’t know the name of your groom yet.” He tapped his chin and thought it over.

“Wow. Shots fired. I had this hashtag when I was dating Phillip, by the way. But I still didn’t use names.”

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