Page 106 of You, Me, and Forever

“‘Hey, have you heard from our old friend Bill Blue Balls lately?’ Or, ‘Have you ever tried the blue balls cocktail?’” She laughed. “That’s some talent to put ‘blue balls’ and ‘cock’ in the same sentence. You’re welcome.”

“Fine. We’ll stick with ‘blue balls.’” I rolled my eyes. We made our way toward the bar when two men stood and waved us over where they sat at a table.

“Oh, that’s Christopher,” she whispered close to my ear. “And look at Ray. He’s hot too.”

He was good looking by any standard. Blond hair, tall, sort of a surfer guy look. But I felt nothing when I approached. No butterflies. No excitement.

I didn’t want to be there.

I was forcing myself to be there.

Christopher did the quick introductions, and we all did the whole awkward hug thing before taking our seats: Violet and me on one side of the table and Christopher and Ray on the other. Benji appeared out of thin air, just like he always did, and he gave me the strangest look. Maybe because I’d come to the Moose Brew a few weeks ago and cried to him over a few shots of tequila. I knew he’d take it to the grave. There were very few people I could break down to right now, and Benji just happened to be one of them.

“Who do we have here?” he asked, clearly unsure if we were using our real names.

“We aren’t doing the aliases tonight. We’re using our real names,” Violet said with a laugh as she introduced Benji to Ray and Christopher.

We ordered a few martinis and some appetizers and settled into our own conversations with the two men.

Violet and Christopher seemed to be having a great time laughing and talking about his travels. Ray was more focused on me.

“So who was the last guy you used an alias on?” He smirked as he reached for a chicken finger.

“I’ve actually only done it once.” I shrugged.

“Did he ever find out that you hadn’t told him your real name?”

“Yes, I did eventually tell him.” I sipped my cocktail.

“You went out with him more than once?”

“Yes, actually. I went out with him for several months.”

His eyes widened. “So I guess he forgave you for lying about your name.”

Violet said, “Umm ... Monny, why don’t you tell Ray about the Blushing Bride.” She shot me a look, clearly not impressed with my topic of conversation. “I was just telling Christopher how busy we are.”

“I want to hear what happened with the dude she dated for a few months after giving him a fake name,” Ray said, smiling. “Is he going to show up here and try to kick my ass because you dumped him?”

“No. He’s not from here. And he’s long gone,” Violet said with a smirk.

“Ahhh ... good to know that I’ve got a real shot, then. Because you’re fucking beautiful, Montana.” He had one of those all-American smiles that reached his eyes, and his teeth were perfectly white. This guy belonged in a toothpaste commercial.

“Thank you. But I should tell you that you don’t have a real shot, Ray. And it’s not because you aren’t great. I’m sure you are. You’ve got the looks, the smile, the charisma.”

“Wow. I sound like the whole package. So what’s the problem?” he asked, taking a pull from his beer bottle.

“The truth is, I’m deeply in love with another man.” I reached for a french fry and bit the top off.

“Blue balls,” Violet said in my ear. “Blue fucking balls, Montana Kingsley.”

“Why is she saying ‘blue balls’ in her ear?” Christopher asked Ray.

“It’s got to be their code word. I think the wheels might be coming off the cart.” Ray chuckled.

“It is our code word. How did you know that?” Violet asked, looking between the two men, as I continued eating. It felt good to get it off my chest. To make sure he knew this was going nowhere so now I could just enjoy myself, eat some bar food, and take the pressure off.

“Because we have one too,” Christopher said.

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