Page 73 of My Silver Lining

I guessed that the dude knew he’d fucked up by letting her go. She was the kind of girl you didn’t get a second chance with. The kind of girl you’d never be able to replace.

“Yes.” She looked up at me. “He cheated on me several times toward the end of our relationship. He’d been caught on camera, so there was no denying it. But the truth is, it didn’t even hurt at that point because I was over him, and I hadn’t been physical with him in a very long time. At the end of the day, he likes my name. He likes this volatile picture that he’s painted, one that people, especially his fans, are drawn to. This wealthy socialitewho came from the best boarding schools and pedigree and the bad-boy rocker. It’s become more of a fictional relationship for him, and he likes the attention it garners. But there is nothing there. He loves this. Loves the drama and the attention. And I’m so tired of it. I just want to move on with my life.”

I used the pads of my thumbs and swiped the liquid beneath her eyes. “And you are. So he comes to Rosewood River, and we don’t waver. We let him see us together. We don’t allow him to make a scene. We act ridiculously happy, and we become impenetrable together.”

“You don’t understand how much we’ll be watched now. It’s more than sharing a hotel room. This is going to be far more intense.”

“So, we play the game. I hate the guesthouse. I’ll move into the main house. It’ll look like we live together. When I’m not at the office, I’ll work at home with you. We’ll be seen everywhere in Rosewood River together. Let them photograph us. Let them run with the story. He’ll get the hint, and he’ll leave.”

“We already had our farewell breakup orgasms, though.” She sniffed. “This was supposed to be the end of your sentence.”

“Hey, hanging out with you is not a hardship. Dropping to my knees for you is not a hardship. I’m not the one who wants to keep saying that this is coming to an end. I’m not the one with all the rules and boundaries. I’m actually having a damn good time.”

“Because you have to.”

“Do you truly think I ever had to?” I barked out a laugh. “That first day you came to me and said that you needed me to tell your parents we were together, I fucking loved it. You’d just nailed me in the balls with a pool ball the night before, and I couldn’t wait to see how you’d torture me next.”

She smiled a genuine smile. “I dragged you to meet my crazy family.”

“Lulu, look at me,” I said, my voice serious now. “I wanted to go. I was happy to spend the weekend there with you. I have never wanted to meet a woman’s family, yet I was excited to go with you. And tonight, when you walked into that ballroom with me, I was fucking proud that everyone thought you were mine.”

“Rafe,” she whispered. “None of this is real.”

“When we took a shower that night, trying to fight this attraction we both feel—that was fucking real. When I hold your hand and keep you close, it’s because I want you there. And tonight, I had the best time I’ve ever had with a woman, so I don’t know what to tell you, Wildcat, but this shit isn’t fake for me anymore.”

Her gaze searched mine. “It’s because I gave you a gold medal-worthy blow job, isn’t it?”

Her voice was all tease, but I could still hear the hesitation.

“It didn’t hurt,” I chuckled, tucking a piece of hair that had broken free from her elastic behind her ear.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen.” She covered her face with her hands. “I’m moving. I have big plans. I can’t get lost in this, in you, not right now.”

“Not asking you to.” I pulled her hands away from her face. “I don’t know what the fuck this means. All I’m saying is, we like hanging out. Let’s just enjoy it. Let’s stop calling it fake because nothing about it feels fake to me. Am I wrong?”

She shook her head. “No. But I want it to be.”

That was honest.

“Listen, Lulu, I get it. You’ve been trying to get out of a shitty situation, and the last thing you want to do is complicate it. But no one is going to get hurt here. I know you’re leaving. I know you aren’t looking for anything serious, and neither am I. So let’s stop overthinking it.”

She nodded, her bottom lip trembling again. “I’ve made mistakes in the past that I don’t want to repeat. I have thingsthat I need to do for myself, and caring about someone too much will derail that plan.”

“So, we hang out, and you can just tell yourself you hate me, even though we both know you don’t,” I chuckled.

She didn’t smile. She didn’t laugh. Her eyes welled once again. “I never hated you. But my fear is that you’ll end up hating me. And I don’t want that.”

Damn. This girl was so guarded and strong that seeing her this vulnerable did something to me.

I placed a hand on each side of her face. “I promise, I could never hate you. Let’s just continue doing what we’ve been doing. We’re friends with very few benefits. But the ones we have are pretty fucking spectacular.”

Her lips quirked up on the sides. And when this woman smiled, it was like the parting of the seas. I finally knew what my dad had been talking about all these years. There was just something about Lulu Sonnet.

Something different.

Something special.

I’d known it pretty early on, yet I wanted to keep my distance because I knew that this couldn’t go anywhere. We had very different lives.

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