Page 132 of Boys Who Taint

It didn’t sink in with me back then what would happen after the choice I made. That I’d be slowly chipping away at my own soulin order to have that last slice of life before it’s all ripped away from me.

That I’d be ready to die at the hands of Silas Rivera … if only it wasn’t for her.

That fluttering fucking butterfly with her fiery hair and green dress, always keeping me aware of the fact that she’s still here, still looking for the part of me that’s already gone.

And that if my time on this earth would cease to exist … so will she.

The dayof the funeral

“Don’t ever speakto her again,” Mom growls at me. “Do you understand?”

What?

We just got back to our family home after that excruciating funeral reception, and she’s already ready to destroy everything she’s ever known?

“You can’t be serious. She’s my—”

“I know you two were friends,” she interjects. “But it’s over now.”

“Lana’s right, you can’t be seen speaking with them,” Dad says.

“Why?” I grit. “What did Aspen ever do?”

“It’s not about her.” Dad folds his arms. “All of them are off-limits.”

“No, you can’t ask this of me. I can’t just ignore her.”

“You can, and you will,” Mom replies.

I shake my head. “No. I’m not gonna do it.”

“Yes, you will, Levi.” She grabs my wrist. “Youmust.”

“Give me one good fucking reason,” I say.

Dad scoots his chair back as he stares at me from across the table. “They will kill you.”

The gravity of his words doesn’t land until he gets up and grabs coffee from the kitchen. It already felt like I got stabbed, but those words twisted the knife until it split open my heart.

“Youhave tostay away from her. I can’t bear to lose you. Please.”

Mom’s begging puts me on the edge.

“They won’t hesitate,” Dad says as he scoots the coffee toward me. “Trust me.”

My jaw clenches. “So? Let them fucking try.”

“I know you don’t care if you die. But we do,” Mom growls.

“Listen to me, Levi,” my dad says with the sternest voice I’ve ever heard. “Do you think Aspen could take it if you died too?”

My lips slowly part.

“If you care about her …” Dad says. “You will never talk to her again.”

I stare at the swirling, steaming black sludge. A perfect synonym for what my life has become.

I can’t. I can’t fucking do this.

---