Page 25 of Follow Me to Your Heart
I turned back toward the mirror, taking a long, hard look at myself. Taylor was right. The same fear I was talking her out of was one I couldn’t talk myself out. My hands gripped the sink as I closed my eyes and admitted, “It’s much easier for me to talk you out of fear when you don’t have as much to lose with Keith as I do with Cage. And I don’t mean that in a bad way, Tay. I’m just being honest.”
“No, you’re right. I agree with you, but that’s the fear talking. That’s all the ‘what ifs’ clouding your mind. You can’t live life based off those, and you damn sure can’t sit back and watchCage possibly love another woman in the future because you’re scared. Hell, the same goes for him. Keith and I believe the two of you are holding back to protect not only your friendship but yourselves.”
“Not you and Keith been talking about us.”
“We surely have. We see something you and Cage are too blind to see. Wait, let me rephrase that. Y’all aren’t blind to it. Y’all are acting like it.”
I gently pushed myself off the sink and blew a raspberry. Nema, my puppy, came sniffing around my feet, so I picked her up to briefly distract me. It didn’t last long because Taylor intently stared at me, causing me to smile.
Tears welled in my eyes as I confessed, “I love Cage, Taylor. I truly do, but I’m so damn scared to lose him. I’m terrified to give us a try, it possibly not work out, and it alters our relationship as we know it. I’d rather have him as I do now than to risk him for the sake of love. He means too much to me to lose.”
“You won’t know unless you try. You will live, questioning yourself if you don’t at least be honest with him about how you feel. That’s the first step. If he doesn’t reciprocate, that’s okay. You were brave enough to admit it. If he does, I truly believe he will give you the world and more. Take your own advice and stop allowing fear to hold you back.”
Taylor blew me kisses and went back to doing her makeup. I could hardly concentrate on getting ready or the random conversations she wanted to have. My mind was in overdrive. I was having an internal debate on whether I wanted to be honest with Cage tonight or not. He had something special planned for me that he wouldn’t even give me a clue about, and while it seemed like the perfect opportunity, I wasn’t confident.
“How do I look?” Taylor quizzed, doing a twirl for me.
Keith would have a hard time keeping his eyes and hands off her. The red ruffle dress she wore showed off her long, toned legsand fit her body perfectly. She paired it with white Converse and silver jewelry. Her natural hair was fluffy from a braid out with one side pinned back by bobby pins. The light beat she did to her face set it off. My girl was stunning.
“Damn good, girl. You better keep those legs closed tonight.”
“Oh, trust. I am. I’m not giving this up to anyone. Any guy from here on out gotta put some work in for it, and I do mean work.”
“As they should. I regret giving my virginity to Marquis, but I can’t change anything about it. I’m like you; the next guy gotta work for it.”
“What if it’s Cage?”
“Girl.”
Taylor shrugged. “What? I’m just saying.”
Before I could give a rebuttal, the doorbell rang. I looked myself over in the mirror while Taylor went to answer the door. Cage was unpredictable with his surprises, so I settled for some army jeans, a black crop top, and my all-black Forces Cage had gotten me last year. I loved the simple, cute look.
I picked up Nema to bring with us and headed out to the foyer. With each step I took, my heart seemed to thump harder in my chest. Taylor’s words echoed inside my mind. There was a possibility I could miss out on something good by keeping everything to myself, but there was also a possibility I would be crushed. I’d never done well with rejection, and if it came from Cage, I wasn’t sure I’d ever recover.
Goodness.
Why was he so handsome?
Cage stood at the door with a bouquet of white lilies in his hands. His locs were pulled up how I loved them, showing off the diamonds dancing in his ears. The yellow graphic tee went well with his brown complexion and black jeans. I was a few feetaway, and I could still smell his enticing scent kissing the tip of my nose.
When he noticed me, which was almost immediately, he walked away from Taylor and Keith.
“You ready to ride out?” he asked, handing me the lilies and taking Nema from me. Nema cuddled up against his chest with her droopy eyes on me.
“Where are we going, Cage?”
“You’ll see. Nema coming with us?”
“Of course. She’s my child. I can’t leave her alone.”
With a shake of his head, Cage rubbed Nema while I went to put the lilies in a vase. Taylor and Keith were already gone, so I locked up and followed Cage out to his car. For most of the ride, we were both silent. It was obvious we were both lost in our own thoughts. I wanted to pick Cage’s brain, but I didn’t want him picking mine.
Every so often, I stole glances at him. There was something about the way he tugged at his goatee while randomly rapping the lyrics to whatever song was playing that was attractive to me. My center thumped as his tongue swiped over his lips. Cage side-eyed me before leaning forward to turn the music down.
“Why you keep staring at me without saying anything, KoKo?” I peered out the window with my lips pursed together, and Cage called me out again. “Nah, don’t look away now. You’ve been quiet this entire ride. What’s on your mind?”
“What’s on yours? You’ve been just as quiet.”
