Page 53 of No, For An Answer
He sat there and kept the secret of a rapist and allowed him to get away with breaking her irrevocably all to protect himself.Hedecided to fuck Fran,hedecided to ruin his own career by having relations with a student… Ok, I know it’s hypocritical of me, however I done it for the alibi, I had a reason. His reason was to get his dick wet.
Fucking scumbag.
He flits in and out of consciousness, down to the amount of blood pouring from him. Shadow walks into my eyeline and grasps my shoulder.
“Cops are twenty minutes out. You need to get this over with.”
I nod, leaning in and slapping his face. “Wake the fuck up, asshole.”
“P-please A-Ashley… I’m s-”
Bending down, I lift the bottle of bleach from beside him and unscrew the cap, emptying the contents over his chest and listen as the high-pitched screams leave his voice box. He cries out like a stuck pig, squealing. Eyes wide and full of fear.
“You’ll never hurt anyone again, Nathan!” I shout over him. Leaning forward, I raise my arm, gripping the knife as tight as I can and the realisation of what I’m about to do, smacks him in the face. Bringing my hand down I stab him in the groin, taking his flaccid cock in my free hand, I smile as I slice through the appendage. Blood spraying, splattering my face and hands, as I slice back and forth in a jagged motion. Skin splitting and snapping back to the groin area as I pull farther and farther back the more the skin is sliced through. His screams become horse, each one filled with agonising pain as I detach his cock from his body. I lean forward and stuff the severed cock in his mouth.
“Choke on it for me!” I scream, stabbing him in the neck, over and over again. Stabbing him for every second he let Maisy suffer in silence. Piercing his vile skin for all the times hethought of her throughout the year. With every inch that the steel blade permeates his skin, I think of her.
When all the strength is gone from my arm and my chest heaving, I drop the knife and it clatters to the floor. Soft hands encase my face and I turn to face him.
“You need to get out of here now. I’ll take care of everything else, and I’ll come find you when you’re ready.” He leans in, kissing the tears from my face. “Go to the bathroom, now.” All I can do is nod. “I’m so proud of you, Ashley. You did it.” Dropping his hands to my shoulders, he turns me and pushes me towards the bedroom door. “There’s a change of clothes. Shower and get yourself ready, ok? You’ll leave in five.”
Diary entry, Maisy
Ashley,
I write this as my final confession. I had my diary sent to you, mainly because I knew you would know what to do with it. That you would finally see everything. I started writing this after everything got bad for me here. After I slowly pulled myself back from you. I don’t want you to cry for me, I had a good life. Up until this point obviously. But anyway, I digress. This isn’t an entry to talk about all that. This is a confession, my final confession to you.
I remember the night of my seventeenth birthday like it was yesterday. I remember how I looked at you after you kissed me. After you gave yourself to me in a way nobody ever has before. The way your skin felt beneath mine and how your touch was more gentle than anyone has ever been with me. I know I told you I was drunk and that I didn’t remember any of it, but I did. I remembered it all. The way you tasted against my lips when we kissed. A feeling so strong I thought I was going to die on the spot. The way your coconut and vanilla shower gel smashed through every wall I had ever built for myself. You were my best friend, and I was scared, scared that something would go wrong and that I’d lose you for good.
The look on your face when I told you it could never happen again, is something that is burned into my heart for eternity and I’m so sorry I hurt you. You were fine with it, but I knew you weren’t. I know that because, neither was I. What I’m trying to say is, I should’ve told you the truth. Told you that my heart belonged to you from the very beginning. I’m sorry that I was too scared to tell you that I loved you, that I let you go through the past two years thinking that you were my mistake.
That you weren’t worth loving because you were. I should have told you every single day that you were the love of my life. That you were, and always will be, the best thing that my wasted heart has ever loved. If I could have a re-do on that day, I would spend every single waking moment telling you that my heart remains marked with your touch. Marked with your sound and most of all, that my body will forever be imprinted with your delicate fingerprints.
I will love you forever,
I will wait for you,
I will always be yours.
Your Maisy.
Epilogue
The moment I reach the place where all my happy memories started, I drop to the floor. Wiggling my toes in the sand, watching as it falls between my toes. Looking out into the vast openness of ocean I pull my knees to my chest, hugging them close to me. My stomach filled with butterflies because this is the beach, I spent most of my life at. With Maisy.
I can still hear the laughter frolicking between us as we danced together during sunset. The way we always chose here over every other trip together. This wasourspot, and where we always messed around. My chest heaves with unshed tears as I bring my knees closer to my chest and drop my chin onto one knee.
Sucking in the air on a wobbly inhale, the realisation that everything I needed to do is finally over hits me. And now… now, I have nothing left. Gazing out where the sand meets the water, I watch as the tide kisses what’s left of the sand as it turns into gravel and tiny stones. The seagulls squawk and dance by the wet sand, waiting to grab whatever they can in their beaks.
The ocean breeze caresses my skin as the salty scent in the air hits my nose. I stopped coming here after she died. Stopped doing anything that reminded me of her, of us. And it was there, that I descended into my own personal hell. Into a world whereshe didn’t exist, and I was still here. Walking the planes, waiting for the inevitable of when it would be my time to finally see her again.
Tears slowly slide from my lower lashes, dropping onto my blue jeans and where the spots fall, the fabric darkens. Nothing was the same without her. Food was bland and what was once enjoyable, and fun became a constant memory that she was gone. A constant reminder that I was finally alone. That I had nothing left and slowly but surely, my heart grew hard. Cold and detached itself from every other organ in my chest.
This past year has been the worst thing I’ve ever had to experience. But right now, as I sit here on the beach where we shared our first kiss, I’m finally able to think about something good. Everything I’ve done up until now was worth every second. She deserved to have her memory avenged. Thinking about it now, maybe she was far too perfect for this world, for us to both co-exist within it at the same time.
“Breaking news for all those that are listening. Today, police ascended upon the residence of Nathan Danvers. Professor of Criminal Psychology at Brown University…”The news reader relays the information of my recent murder on the radio behind me for everyone to hear. Seems I got out of there just in time. Sniffing, I rub the cuff of my clean hoody over my face, wiping away the tears that haunt my skin.
Thinking back to the night of her seventeenth birthday and how I couldn’t stop myself from kissing her natural cherry red lips. I was petrified. I had fallen for Maisy from the moment that I saw her, but back then I didn’t know what it meant. The older I got, the more I realised I was actually in love with her.
