Page 61 of What's Left of Us

“Why did that happen?” Alastair breathes, and now I do smile. At one point in our lives, he had more experience with sex than me. In the years since I’ve gained an emotional understanding that he doesn’t have, but one my husband is attuned to. I might get the chance to teach him something this time around.

“Because being with you elicits an emotional response,” Vinny says, his palm flattening against my back. “So I’m going to ask you , Alastair, to not leave us ever again. You're ours again, and we’re not letting you go back to hell.Neveragain.”

We eventually leave the club, and I sit in the back with Alastair on the ride to our house. I’m half asleep through the drive, and when we make it back, instead of unpacking or proudly showing him our house, I help Vinny guide him upstairs to our bedroom.

The bed is too small, made for two people not three. I think we need to double it, or do one of those half beds so Sterling fits, too. The idea plays in my head as I strip back out of my clothes, throw them into the hamper, and crawl into bed without a word.

They find places on either side of me, and I like that they’re naked as well. The limited space means we squish in, and I’m perfectly content having them snuggled into my sides. I love them here.

Alastair is tracing his fingers down my stomach when Vinny speaks. “You’re going to have to tell us at some point how you got here.”

My nightmare hums, turning to kiss my stomach over one of the old wounds. He keeps tracing them, and I don’t know if it’s intentional or not. “Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” I agree, sleep threatening to claim me. This whole day seems to drag out forever, and at the same time I don’t want it to end. What if I wake up in the morning and this was nothing but a dream?

“You two can’t call me Alastair,” he says sleepily. “He died, remember?”

I frown to myself. This doesn’t feel like a nice conversation before bed. But Vinny beats me to responding. “What do you expect us to call you then?”

“Alex. Al for short. Alex Grey.”

I snort to myself. That’s a name we made up for him years ago. I yawn myself, snuggling in until they are wrapped around me. “Alex Grey. Fine, but you’ll forever be Alastair to me.”

Alastair kisses higher on my torso, and even in my head I can’t call him Al. I guess I’ll have to get used to it. “I’ll tell you whatever you two want to know tomorrow.”

“Mhmm,” Vinny says sleepily beside me. I can’t tell if he’s more or less awake than I am. “I expect a full story.”

“Of course you do,” he replies, sleepily. “But there’s one thing you have to explain to me then.”

Vinny grunts. “Hmm?”

I’m almost asleep when he speaks, and if Vinny responds I miss it as dreams claim me. “Where is our Agent, lovebirds?”

Epilogue

“You look hot.”

I glance at Jo again as she fiddles with the mask across my face, ensuring it’s perfectly in place. It’s simple, black, and matches Vinny’s. Technically it matches Jo’s too, but hers is lacier and girlier than either of ours.

“Sure you want to do this, Al?” Vinny asks, spinning the key ring on his finger. The club opened a few hours ago, but these two said we should wait until showtime before going downstairs.

Licking my lips, I nod but end up looking away before he can catch my eye. I reach for my cane instead, the custom made one that Vinny helped me procure when I chose a style. Part of me thinks it’s illegal, and he refuses to comment but I’m almost certain this thing has a built-in weapon. I don’t use it at the house, and since I only go out occasionally I’ve never really spent the time to inspect it. I’ll find out if I need to. “I’m ready.”

I haven’t seen a show at Sins and Secrets yet. It isn’t that Vinny and Jo won’t bring me to the club. They offer anytime Ishow interest. And I love the kinds of things they talk about at S&S.

But being out in the world is so different from being in prison. I never had to get a job in high school, and I’ve never had one until now. Trying to reintegrate isn’t something I ever worried about because I didn’t think it would ever be a possibility. Now when either of the lovebirds asks me what my dreams are, I don’t know what to tell them.

Part of me is waiting for a certain Agent to show up, and I’ve heard through whispers from the club owners that he might make an appearance. After seeing him regularly for months, and then none of my trio for weeks, my body craves seeing Sterling as much as it needs my lovebirds.

Time isn’t our friend. It’s kept all four of us apart too many times, but hopefully after tonight, things will change.

I’ve had my lovebirds to myself the last several weeks. I’ve learned about their lifestyle, their club, and their pain since returning from Florida. The process will start over again when I eventually see Sterling.

Jo steps over and skims her hands over my mask again, shooting me a wide smile before glancing back when Vinny clears his throat. He’s going over something on the computer with her. This is supposed to be a big night for them; they haven’t officially come back to the club as the main management team. They’ve slowly stepped back in, relieving Serenity and Emeric as well as their friends from managing everything.

Watching them together makes something in my heart heal. They don’t have to agree with the decisions I made at eighteen, and I know now that they don’t. Jo in particular has a lot of issues with how I handled things, but we’re working through it.

“You’re going to do great,” Jo says, turning again for the third time. She might be more stressed out than I am. “We’rejust going to sit in the audience and watch the showcase. Callie and Nate can carry the whole thing themselves, but the audience interaction is popular. It’s going to set things up great for the auction next week.”

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