I’ve really fucked up. So many times.
I guess the only thing I can do now is let whatever is going to happen, happen.
If he wants to whip my ass and knock me up, I guess that’s the punishment I deserve. It’s probably the least of it. I don’t think I was ever supposed to live, really. I think the life I’ve had has been a bit of a mistake. Alexander should have eaten me, and then I would never have been able to cause all this trouble.
It feels like I am being transported under guard.
Feels like being imprisoned.
Feels like this is the end of my life somehow. They’re going to carry me off and fuck babies into me, and I am totally not equipped to care for a baby. All I can remember about parenting is to be vaguely nice and then get murdered. I think I can do the latter part, but the former might be beyond me. Also, Conroy as a dad?
Tailor and Damon would be fine, I think, but Conroy should be running an underground militia, not a family.
“Don’t let him get me first,” I whisper to the other two in the back.
“Easy, baby, it’s going to be fine,” Tailor says. “In a few days you might be able to walk.”
“I am going to throw myself out of this moving vehicle. It’s going to be less painful.”
I’m kidding, but only just, and Tailor does grab my arm in response as if he thinks I might actually do something that impulsive and stupid.
“I’m joking,” I say. “It’s fine. Carry me off and impregnate me. I’m sure I’ll make an excellent mother. No red flags here at all. I’m very suitable and ready for motherhood.”
“You are getting bred, and you are going to like it,” Conroy snaps from the front. “I have had enough of chasing you around the countryside through various conflicts. It’s time you settled down. I intend to make sure you do.”
“Yeah? And you’re going to settle down with me? Same thing, day after day? Changing diapers? Listening to the same story about a stick over and over? Watching children’s shows? Going to sports?”
“Stop it,” Conroy growls. “Ours will be different. We will teach them to hunt, and we will raise them to be strong and independent.”
“Not too strong, or too independent, though, right? Going to have to hobble them so they don’t run out into the world and break things.”
“Not everybody acts like you,” Conroy says. “We will all make sure our whelps don’t repeat their mother’s mistakes.”
“That’s enough,” Tailor says, his voice cutting in, cool and calm. “Kita did well tonight.”
“I did?”
“Yes. You’re alive. We all are. That means you did well.”
Conroy quiets down and drives in silence.
I curl up with Damon, who puts his arm around me.
“Up on the left,” he says. “Then the next right. Right again. Then left.”
Damon found us a safehouse, though I do not know how safe it will be for me.
CHAPTER 16
Kita
“Where are we?”
Stupid question. We’re just up the hill from Coastwood, in a storybook house located down a very long and windy drive. It looks like the perfect house to live happily ever after in, if you’re into that sort of thing.
“This little forest house is the perfect place for keeping you in. It has nice views and there’s plenty of space to run if you need to, and the doctor is not that far away if something very stupid happens,” Tailor says.
“Nothing very stupid is going to happen,” I say. “I’ve learned my lesson. Believe me, I have.”