Page 43 of Defender

“What is it you’re not telling me, Ashton?I thought we had gotten all the secrets out yesterday, but evidently we haven’t.”

There was no avoiding it now.He took a deep breath, then pushed the words out in a rush.“I was the primary sniper on the roof across from your husband’s office that day.”

“Okay.”

“That means I was responsible for eliminating the hostage-taker if necessary.For recognizing if Joe wasn’t going to be able to talk him down and taking the shot if needed.”

Summer wrapped her arms around herself.“Ashton, Joe didn’t mention your name, but he already told me all this when he came to see me right after Tyler was killed.He told me the sniper had the shot but that he didn’t let you take it because Joe thought he could stop the killer without lethal force.”

“Yes.”Ashton said.“That’s true.Joe always wants to try to talk the hostage-takers down if he can.”

“And you did what Joe asked.If I don’t blame Joe for what happened, I’m certainly not going to blame you.The man had a hand grenade.Nobody could’ve expected that.”

He couldn’t bear how she stood there, looking at him so expectantly, like this was something about to be cleared up.Put behind them.

He took a slight step closer, then stopped himself.She didn’t understand.“I had a shot, Summer.For just a brief second, after everything escalated, I had a shot.I could’ve saved your husband, but I didn’t.

Summer stood staring at Ashton, like she couldn’t figure out how to process his words.

“I don’t understand.”

He wanted to walk toward her, but he didn’t.“Joe—and Derek, because he’s actually the team leader—originally told us to hold our fire, so we did.”

She nodded.

“But then things escalated pretty quickly.I could see the perp was getting more agitated.Knew in my gut the situation would turn ugly.”

He reached a hand toward her but then withdrew it.She wouldn’t want him to touch her now.Instead he brought his hand up and rubbed it over his gritty eyes.

“I had the shot, Summer.If I had just trusted my instincts, I could’ve taken it right then and Tyler and three other people would still be alive.But I didn’t.And they died.”

She sat down slowly on the couch, just staring at him.

“But they told you not to take the shot,” she said softly.It was like she didn’t want to believe him.But who could blame her for not wanting to think about the fact that the man she’d just spent the night having sex with was responsible for her husband’s death?

It tended to taint things slightly.

“They told me not to shoot when things looked like they could possibly be salvaged.Once they turned ugly—when the perp reached to pull something out of his pocket—I should’ve taken the shot right there.”

“Because of the grenade.”

Ashton nodded, his heart breaking.“Yes.That’s what he had in his pocket.If I had taken the shot, he would’ve never had the chance to pull it out, much less use it to kill himself and four other people.”

She just stared at him like she didn’t even see him.

Ashton didn’t blame her.“But I didn’t follow my instincts, and because of that, your daughter will grow up without ever knowing her father.”

Summer cupped her face in her hands.Ashton had never felt so helpless in his entire life.He crossed to her, he had to.He couldn’t stay away when she was hurting like this.

“Summer.I’m so sorry.”He gently touched her on the shoulder, grimacing when she flinched.

She brought her hands down from her face.She wasn’t crying like he’d been afraid, but he wasn’t sure if that was better or worse.

“I think you should probably just go, Ashton.I just need to be alone right now.Everything...It’s all just too much.”

He stuffed his hands in his pockets.“Yeah, sure.I understand.I’ll call you later, okay?Make sure you two are alright.”

“Yeah, okay.”

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