Page 69 of Vengeance of Childhood Proportions

I stared at the contract on Valentino’s bent leg. I wanted it. I wanted it so badly that I was practically salivating. I wanted to belong to Master Mal, to finally have a chance at happiness after a lifetime of suffering.

I wanted to dance for him, to fall asleep in his arms like we had last night. I knew I’d never be normal. I couldn’t argue with Jason on that, but I wanted to discovermynormal. To figure out whoHollywas. My goal for vengeance had been driving me for so long that I didn’t know who I would be without it.

Turning, I looked down at Master Mal. We’d only known each other a week or so, and he was currently investigating murders I had committed, but I felt like I knew him. More importantly, I feltsafewith him. Of all the people in all the world, it had to be the special agent hunting me. Beyond safe, he soothed me. I’d been angry for so long, and yet in his arms, I could forget what I was, what had happened to me. I feltpowerful, and strong, and beautiful.

I feltlike me, even though I had no idea who ‘me’ was.

But I wanted to find out.

I knew then and there that I would do everything in my power to keep him, to make him mine. I would have to figure something out with Jason. Give him something or offer himsomething. A trade for Master Mal’s life. Because I wasn’t giving him up.

I couldn’t. I needed him.

And if he ever did find out who I was and what I’d done… Well, I suppose it was a good thing I wasn’t above kidnapping. Because I was keeping this man. My happiness depended on it.

Chapter Forty-One

Mal

Pleasure.It was like my little owl had no concept of what the word truly meant or how to achieve it. My guilt over the misunderstanding about her participation in impact play was still very much present, but I was putting it aside for now so I could figure out my little owl’s true desires.

Valentino continued speaking, “But as I said, before we can discuss the contract, there’s something else we need to address first.

“Dani, your history aside, why did you feel pain was more important than bondage?”

I was studying her face, so I saw her confusion easily. She glanced down at me before her eyes went back to Valentino. “I don’t understand.”

“You were able to express your limits about bondage, and your Master has made accommodations for them that satisfy both of you. Why is it that you felt you could not tell him how you are not affected by pain? Why was pain what you felt your Master wanted from you?”

I waited, a bit impatient, as she gathered her thoughts. Though Valentino had asked the question, my little owl looked at me to answer, which meant more to me than I could currentlyexpress. “I didn’t think you wanted to harm me, and I know that pain and pleasure go together. I’ve seen it a lot downstairs when I dance. I thought that I could still get pleasure from it and still give you something you desired.”

Scowling, I reached for her lean hip and pinched her skin.

“Ow!” she jumped in my arms. “Hey, what was that for?”

I stared at her meaningfully. “I didn’t enjoy that either, Little Owl. Are you orgasming right now? Did that feelgood? Are you able to suppress it and feel pleasure?”

“Mal,” Valentino scolded.

I forced myself not to glare at him too. I was barely holding on by a thread, though holding my little owl in my arms was offering me some of my control back. “I’m sorry, Little Owl. That was uncalled for.”

I rubbed the spot I’d pinched soothingly—then jumped when she pinched me back.

“Children,” Valentino warned. “I will separate you two if I have to.”

I narrowed my eyes on my little owl, to which she stuck her tongue out at me. Fuck, if we were alone… The things I wanted to do to that tongue.

Valentino cleared his throat. “Dani, I think this is the core of your misconception. Pain is not a requirement in BDSM any more than bondage is. There are masochists out there. You are currently roommates with one of the most practiced ones I know, but again, not pointing fingers. I think with your history as well as watching Master Kade practice, you drew an inaccurate conclusion. Now, if Master Mal was a practicing masochist, and got aroused by such practices, then I would suggest the two of you part ways. Clearly, you would not be the submissive for him and he would not be the right Master for you. However, I have known Master Mal a long time. He enjoys pain, but he does not require it. Just as he does not require bondage.”

I brought her attention back to me. “Pain is not the only way to achieve pleasure, Little Owl. Have you ever heard of pleasure torture or edging?”

She shook her head. “I mean, I know about edging but not the other one.”

“Edging falls under pleasure torture.” I dropped my hand down to her knee, rubbing the sensitive nerves often forgotten back there. Her surprised gasp told me she hadn’t known about the erogenous zone. I leaned my face closer, not quite touching her lips. “Pet, I can show you a world of pleasure without ever picking up a whip. Will you let me?”

Her nipples puckered under my black shirt and I loved hearing the catch in her voice as she moaned out her answer, “Please…”

Chapter Forty-Two

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