Page 67 of Vengeance of Childhood Proportions

Holly

I was flabbergasted.It was the best word I had to describe the perplexed feelings whirling around inside me.

Master Mal gave me that rakish smile I loved so much before standing. He held his hand down to me, making my transition to my feet a lot smoother than his had been. Then he picked me up, my feet dangling inches off the floor, before letting both of us fall. I clung to him at the bottomless feeling. We both landed on our sides in my beanbag chair.

He scooted the beans inside until he was slightly lower than me and I was leaning more on his chest than the abnormal chair beneath us.

Reaching up, he pulled slightly on my wig. Not enough to move the pins, but enough for me to feel it on my scalp. “I think you have some misconceptions about BDSM, pain, and your role as a submissive, pet. I apologize for not recognizing it sooner. I have a feeling where you got your misunderstandings from, but this conversation isn’t about pointing fingers. The fact that you just said ‘supposed to’ is a big red flag, Little Owl. So, we’re going to have another long safety conversation, but instead of starting in the middle, we’re going to start at the beginning. And I swear, this time, I won’t let my desire for you get in the way.”

I stared into his eyes, so baffled that I wasn’t sure what to say.

“Dani.”

I jumped. Fuck, that was twice tonight that I hadn’t been paying attention to my surroundings. I looked to my left, over Master Mal, to Valentino.

“I shoulder blame here too. We are not going to point fingers, as Master Mal said, but I do believe there has been more than one lie told here. When you first came to the club, I was given references for your last club.Didyou have a club prior to here?”

When I came here with Jason for the first time, I’d just turned twenty-one. I knew nothing about BDSM or the lifestyle. Jason thought it would be a safe place for me to explore my sexuality. I’d been so enamored by the pole dancer that I hadn’t even thought about sex for several months after I started coming here.

But I also didn’t want to get Jason into trouble. I couldn’t take this place away from him, not after all he’d done for me. He’d likely lied to help me get to come back sooner so I could learn to dance.

I swallowed hard. It wasn’t a club, but I had been in an asylum for years. I focused on that as I answered, “It was a bad…place. The people were cruel and the…” Shit, I couldn’t say ‘doctors’. Fuck. “Pain was…common. That’s where J—I mean,Master Kadefound me.”

Valentino nodded slowly. “I can see how much dancing meant to you, how much it helped you. I can even forgive the lie, but not when it comes to safety, Dani. Giving me a fake history about your experience as a submissive did no one, especially you, any favors.”

“Please don’t punish him!” I begged, recalling Dominique. “Please. This is my fault.”

“That I can’t promise you,” Valentino said sadly, and I knew how much this realization was hurting him. He was Jason’sfriend, first and foremost. “Let’s get through this conversation and then I will make a decision.”

Valentino made to get up, but fell back over. He hopped and scooted, but only ended up sinking further into the beanbag chair. “Fucking hell!” Looking over his shoulder, he shouted, “Toby!” When there was nothing, he called even louder, “Toby!”

The voice from earlier came over the speaker, “Yes, sir!”

“Have some drinks brought up for us. I need a blank contract, and for the love of all that is holy, bring me a real fucking chair before my ass sucks this fucking thing up like the world’s weirdest enema!”

“Um, yes, sir. We’ll be right there.”

Valentino shook his head. “It’s a good thing there’s no sharps in this room or these beanbag chairs wouldn’t live to see tomorrow.”

I bit my lips between my front teeth at Valentino’s antics. Fingers on my chin drew my attention back to my Master.

“Little Owl, keep your eyes on me. Valentino’s here to observe and mediate if needed, but his current use of a beanbag chair as a suppository is distracting us from the task at hand. Now, why do you submit?”

I knew the answer I’d always given, but I paused before giving it now. If I was really, truly going to try to have a real relationship with Master Mal, if I wanted to behappy, as I had told Jason earlier, then this was my chance to be honest. Or as honest as I could be, anyway.

Why did I submit? Why was I more comfortable on my knees than I was holding the whip?

“I need to feel safe,” I finally answered. Masters Mal and Valentino had remained silent, allowing me time to think through my response. I appreciated that. “I need to…escape. I don’t want to be in charge or have to think or worry or payattention or…beon,” I added, using the example I had given Master Mal earlier tonight.

“That’s good, and all that can be achieved by submission. Do you know why I became a Dom?”

I shook my head, then said, “Well, per your own words, you’re a domineering asshole.”

He cracked a smile. “All true.”

“But you’re not with me.”

“I’m not a lot of things with you, Little Owl.” He leaned down and kissed my nose. “That’s not a bad thing. In fact, it’s a very good thing, because it’s making me be a better Dom.”

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