Page 47 of Vengeance of Childhood Proportions

Rape was so much more than a violation of the body. The mental anguish of the assault could be so much more detrimental than the physical. The body healed, but the mind… At least for me, I was stuck in that moment for years. I blamed myself, my parents, my teachers… I couldn’t stop wondering whatIhad done wrong. Why me? Why had they chosen me?

Then as I got older, and my body changed more, I feared that no one would be able to love me because of what had happened. I was no longer a virgin, but not by my choice. What man would ever wanttheirscraps?

The pain, fear, and humiliation of my assault during the physical act had kept me from realizing the extent of what they’d done. I hadn’t just been raped vaginally. At least one had also raped me anally.

Beyond religion or faith, regardless of if it was the person’s first time or hundredth,choicemattered. It was one of the reasons I felt so comfortable in the BDSM lifestyle. Like anywhere, there were those who abused the system for their own personal cruelty but the core of the people within the lifestyle were very strict about consent.

It took me a long time within the lifestyle, even when I was mostly on the sidelines, to understand that there was more than penetrative firsts when it came to sex.

The bunker door above slammed open and a few moments later a loudthudechoed through the underground chamber. I stepped out of John’s old cell to see Jason coming down the stairs. He had a firm hold on Hannah’s hair as he was draggingher kicking and screaming down the concrete steps. I also saw a massive bruise on the side of her face.

I raised an eyebrow.

“Bitch bit me,” Jason explained. “Cell ready?”

I stepped aside, waving him through. “What’s it like up there?”

“Chaos.” I didn’t need to see Jason’s face to know the excitement he felt at the reality of what we were doing. “Pure and utter chaos. Atelihai Valley is swarming with cops and media. Hell, I even met a guy who claims to be a serial killer hunter. Gave me his card and everything.”

I snorted. I wasn’t sure I liked being called a ‘serial killer’. ‘Serial revenger’ seemed more accurate.

“What the fuck is going on? Do you have any idea who I am?”

Jason tossed Hannah inside the cell. “I don’t give a fuck who you are,” and then he slammed the door. To me, he asked, “Why do they always ask if we know who they are?”

I shrugged, wondering that myself. “One would think they wouldn’t be so surprised that karma has finally come calling.”

I walked away, letting Hannah rage about being locked up in peace. The cell to the left of hers was empty as Jesse was in my cell currently—and I knew the moment Andy’s body had floated by on her right because rage turned quickly into fear.

In my cell, Jesse was strapped to the floor with a board longways over his body. Cinderblocks were piled up on top of his chest. I added an additional block every fifteen or so minutes. His breaths were barely gasps with close to five hundred pounds on his chest. I had read an article that four hundred pounds was survivable due to the strength of the human diaphragm but anything over six hundred and twenty-six pounds was fatal.

I was testing that theory.

Jason picked up a cinderblock and placed it on the pile that was starting to resemble aJengatower. “We’re going to need to pick up our pace. Can’t play with them for so long anymore.”

I nodded. We had anticipated that, but it was still a disappointment. I sat in a chair by Jesse’s hip and put my feet up on the cinderblocks, crossing them at the ankle. There was no way that my feet weighed anywhere close to a thirty-five pound cinderblock but Jesse still let out a gasp as if I had added significant weight to the pile slowly suffocating him to death.

“I’m ready to get rid of Wyatt and Andy.” At Jason’s confused expression, I added, “Banana Boy and the guy currently bathing in the IPA.”

“Ah!” Jason looked across the way at the cells. “That’ll clear three of them up. I told you we should have built all fifteen at once, but no, you want tohunt.” He chuckled dryly. “I applaud your sadism but judge your juggling skills.”

I rolled my eyes. “We planned for this, Jason. They’ll call in the locals first. Wewantthem to figure it out. And it’s more like Three-Card Monty than juggling.”

“You meanhe’ll call in the locals first.” Jason looked at me pointedly.

“He’s not working alone,” I argued.

“No, but from what was just announced on the news, he’s heading the task force.”

Fuck. Talk about mixing business with pleasure. Internally, I was shaking my head. I’d planned on every contingency—excepthaving an active sex life with the special agent who was investigating me.

“Alicia and Jerald are next,” I reminded Jason, ignoring his last statement. I stood up, suddenly restless. “Add two more blocks here. Where did we put the gorilla suit?”

My question was rhetorical, since it was in the cabinet marked ‘gorilla supplies’.

“What did you expect to happen when you started fucking him again?” Jason shouted after me. “You’re growing attached to him, Hols! I can tell! If the two of you get any more serious, he goes onmylist!”

Chapter Twenty-Eight

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