Page 17 of A Villain for a Duke

She jumped to her feet.“Yes, Michael.We kissed.It was divine.And yes, I wanted more.But not like that.I’m a lady.”

“I’m sorry.”Too dumbfounded to speak, he just stared.

“Is that why you didn’t speak to me again?”

“I was going to speak with you the next day, but you left so early the next morning.I thought you were…embarrassed.”

“Iwasembarrassed.”

He rubbed his forehead again.This was a bloody disaster.How was he always so wrong about this woman?

“I don’t know what to say, Astrid.”

“How about that you’re sorry.”

“Well, yes.I am sorry.I’m an ass.I should have spoken to you about everything.”

“You should have asked me.It could have been so simple.”

“You’re right,” he said in defeat.“I was just so disillusioned.I thought you were…perfect.And then…that happened.”

“I’m not perfect, Michael.Do you want to know how imperfect I am?I make mistakes all the time.I spread false rumors about a good man, and I was the one who” —her voice caught on a sob— “told Hope to visit the apothecary.And now someone took her.”

Michael stood and took Astrid in his arms.“Shhh…no, you’re not perfect.I’m seeing that now.And I’m seeing that it doesn’t matter.No one’s perfect.I don’t know about those rumors and why you did that—”

“Because he jilted me.I wanted to ruin him like the gossip that loomed around me and tainted me in society’s eyes.”

“Well, that doesn’t sound great.”He didn’t want to heap any more guilt onto her, but he couldn’t very well condone her actions.

“It was awful.I was awful.Vindictive.Reckless.But that’s not me.I don’t want to be that person anymore.”

“Have you apologized?”

“I’ve been meaning to, but I just wasn’t brave enough.And now Hope is gone.”

“Hope?”

“I wanted to apologize to her first because it was her brother.”

“I see.”Michael didn’t really fully see, but that seemed to be besides the point.Astrid was having a breakdown…and a breakthrough.Those seemed to coincide with women, he noticed.“I’m sure she’ll forgive you.”

“If I ever see her again.”

“You will.”

“And when I do, I’ll beg her to forgive me for leading her to her kidnapping.”

“Well now, just as you told me, that one is clearly not your fault.”Michael was feeling pretty good about himself for at least being able to reassure her aboutthatmislabeled misdemeanor.

“You must think I’m a terrible person,” Astrid said, head pressed into his chest.

“No.”He stepped back so he could peer into her eyes.“I think…I think I’m finally seeing the full you.You are a bundle of energy, wrapped tightly but with pieces hanging out.You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.The first time I caught sight of you, you were laughing.Radiating joy.I shall never forget the image of you.And then you began to surprise me each time we were together.The dance.The kiss.And being here with you again.I was vexed that we should be pushed together.But I can only blame myself.I was the one who showed up in your room.”

He brushed a loose, tear-stained tendril from her cheek and tucked it behind her ear.“You are not perfect, but you’re perfect for me.You are full of life and joy.You are willing to laugh.Make mistakes.Learn from them.You are seeking out your own happiness, and I believe you do good in the world.You are a good person, who has made mistakes but wants to make them right, Astrid.”

She looked up at him and wiped her cheeks.“This is me.Just as I am.”He could see the nakedness, the vulnerability in her eyes as she admitted, “Sometimes good people do bad things.”

“Yes, we do.But have we learned from our mistakes?Are we trying to be better people?The best that we know how to be?”

---