Page 21 of Dionysus
Chaos erupted back in Dio’s room as I turned into the hall where Bianca’s was. I thought seeing Dio and expressing how I felt would ease my pain. Still, it was only temporary, when I realized that I had to decide if I would allow Bianca another day on the ventilator or would today be the day that I said my final goodbyes, none of what I had done had given me peace.
I felt my body being pulled into a room. I didn’t even have enough time to scream because a hand covered my mouth before I could blink my eyes. When I realized it was Felipe, any fear I had disappeared. The grief he held was pouring out of him. Sleep hadn’t found him, nor had a razor to his face. His eyes were bloodshot red, and even now, he was still crying.
Felipe took his hand away from my mouth. We looked at each other silently. He understood that talking about the obvious was off-limits — our daughter was out of bounds as long as Sergio was present. We wouldn’t dare speak a word, or we’d both be dead.
Felipe started as a guilty pleasure. It was like the wealthy wife who had a secret affair with the pool boy. In this case it was the wealthy wife who found herself fucking the second in command. Every time his eyes would land on me, they felt different than how Sergio would look at me. Felipe sent a fire through me. It was a risk; hot, good, and somehow it became love.
Sergio wasn’t bad at all. However, he showered me with luxuries and not love once he got me. He fucked me occasionally and sometimes a little extra during the holidays. He pawned me off on someone else until I could no longer take it. The night Itold myself I was going to walk away from Sergio; he found the pregnancy test. Felipe and I were willing to risk our lives to try to have a happy one. Sergio was so excited, and I knew then I couldn’t tell him the truth.
After that, he was the perfect husband. Felipe still wanted to run off, but I couldn’t. I stayed, and so did he, because he refused to miss the milestones of his child. For the sake of my life and his daughter, Felipe had always taken the backseat and watched as Sergio did all of the things he wanted to do, and for that, I felt horrible.
I was ashamed that I had gotten myself into this situation, but the damage was done. So, I walked around with my head high and handled everything with grace. This situation, however, broke me. It was humbling me so fast I felt like I was aging as quickly as things were happening.
Felipe ran his hand down his face. “I’m telling Sergio.”
My eyes grew. “You’re what? Are you crazy?”
He tossed his hands up as he turned his back on me before he spun back my way. “Ju know what? Maybe I am. My,” he choked up. “My baby is in there. She’s not waking up, and without my sweet Bianca, I am nothing.”
Felipe was asking for an early death sentence, one I wasn’t ready for. I reached out to him to pull him in closer. “We cannot do that. I need you to get it together. I need you to believe that she will be okay. Once she comes out of this, we can leave. I promise this—”
He shoved my hands out of the way and ran his hand through his hair. “No!” he shouted. “Ju done enough damage, Tameka! I,” he paused. “I let you do enough,” he sobbed. “Dios esté conmigo. You have let your anger get the best of you. You not only destroyed our daughter, but also that boy. He did not kill jour brother.”
I shook my head because Felipe was wrong. Horace said Dio had done it. “He did!”
Felipe rushed in my face. “He did not! Horace did. I saw it. I saw,” he said, leaning against the wall, pouring all of his tears onto the floor.
I gripped my stomach. “What did I do?” I whimpered as I found balance by gripping the countertop edge.
“I only agreed that it was that boy because Horace had a daughter just like me. I knew if ju knew the truth, ju would have taken him from her. But this is not what I was expecting. So jes, I am telling Sergio. God will forgive me, I hope.”
Felipe walked over to me, planting a kiss on my cheek. I closed my eyes, letting the tears that were hanging onto my lashes spill. He had gone to walk out the door, but I couldn’t let him. I couldn’t let him share the darkest secret of my life with Sergio. I reached into my purse and pulled out my blade that I carried with me everywhere. I flicked it open, and with grace, I came up behind Felipe.
He spun around so fast, but my wrist was quicker, and the blade slid across his throat. His expression of confusion, surprise, and regret was on his face. He dropped to his knees as he held on to his throat. He sucked in a few deep breaths before falling face forward to the floor. “I love you, but I couldn’t let you do that,” I said before stepping over his body.
I pulled a handkerchief from my purse and wrapped the knife in it, then dropped everything back in. I needed to find Horace and fast. He had been the one who killed my brother all along. Had I known, saving Raquel would have never happened.
ZEUS
I didn’t allow the driver to stop as I hopped out mid-drive to rush into the hospital. My heart was racing so fast. I ran through the lobby, skipped the elevator, and took the stairs. I skipped steps to get to the floor I needed to be on. When I reached the floor, I was met with security at the door, who tried to tell me I needed to slow down. I drew my fist back and hit that nigga in his fucking mouth.
At this point, I didn’t care who I came across; the only goal was to get to Dio. With every step I took to get to his room, I prayed. I asked God to forgive me for every single wrongdoing I’d done. I pleaded with God not to take Dio from me. I begged him over and over again. Dio deserved a second chance, and this just couldn’t be how he left me. My mind and my heart couldn’t take it. I knew deep down that if my brother didn’t make it out of this hospital, I would never be the same.
I didn’t care if I had to be Dio’s caregiver for the rest of my life. I was willing to accept the unthinkable rather than accept the fate of him no longer being here. I was only a few doors away when I saw Foe, Diamond, and Preach come from the room.
I shook my head because I wouldn't make it if they said those words. I took a step, and my knees buckled. I took another step, and the tears fell. Another step, and the silent sobs turned into rumbling cries. Preach came forward, meeting me halfway. He placed his hand on my shoulder. “He’s still here,” he whispered.
I blew out a sharp breath. “Thank you, God!”I shouted as I could no longer hold this weight on myself.
Before going into the room with Dio, I knew I needed to get my emotions in order. There was no way I could go in there and let him hear me like this. I didn’t want to scare him or make him upset. I wiped my face and went to the bathroom. The support from my brothers was much needed, but it wasn’t enough. I began regretting cutting Sasha off. She was my balance. She was the peace that kept a nigga sane at times.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called her. The phone rang a few times before she answered. “All I care about is Dio,” she snapped.
I didn’t say anything, but instead listened to her voice.
“Hello!” she yelled.
“He’s,” I paused. “He’s ok for now.”
