Page 88 of Playoff
His unbroken hand gripped mine. “You’re always good for me. And I appreciate that you gave up so much to come and support me. But now it’s time for me to deal with this. I don’t know exactly what I need to do, but it’s time. I love you, Jess, always will. You should think about what’s best for you, independent of me, and I’ll do the same. We can talk when we’re back in Toronto. Grandma is the priority now, but I wanted to give you a heads-up.”
“Would you believe me if I told you I’ve been thinking along those same lines?”
He pulled me into a hug. “I would.”
“I just can’t believe you got in a fight.”
“I was so angry.” He held up his cast when I opened my mouth to speak. “Let me finish. I felt betrayed, and angry. So when Alek offered his condolences, I dropped my gloves.” He snorted. “Some fight. I hit him and broke my hand. I knocked him off-balance and he hit the ice, but he wasn’t hurt. He’s okay, Jess.”
I squeezed Justin’s good hand, knowing talking like this, opening up, was difficult for him.
“Everyone was in shock. Because I don’t do that. I don’t get mad, I don’t shout, I don’t do anything. And why did I suddenly crack? Because I thought I’d lost you.”
My mouth dropped open. “No, Justin, never.”
“How selfish is that? I was angry that my sister might actually have a life of her own. I’m not any better than Mom and Dad, and that isn’t fair. I want the best for you, Jess. I want you to be happy. And for that to happen I have to be happy too, right?”
Tears were filling my eyes. I nodded. I couldn’t be happy when he was suffering.
He looked down at our hands. “And your happiness will help mine. I’ve been selfish. I’ve hurt the team’s chances for the playoffs and I’ve hurt you. I’m ready to do something about it.”
I had to swallow the lump in my throat. “I’ve been worried.”
He tried to smile, but this was emotional for both of us. “It’s time to worry about yourself. I need to apologize to Alek and the team, but you came first. Grandma would have been very disappointed in me.”
Now I was crying again, for Grandma, my twin, for Alek—I wasn’t sure what all was in there. Justin moved to pull me into a hug and I sobbed into his shoulder. When I finally stopped and pulled back, his eyes were red and damp too.
“She’d be happy to see us together like this.” His voice was thick.
“She’d tell us to stop crying over her and get on with our lives.”
He choked on a laugh. “Yeah, she would. Is everything taken care of? What can I do?”
I drew in a shaky breath. “Grandma planned everything before she got too bad. The church, the hall, the food, what she wanted for the service. I met with the funeral home yesterday, and I just have to drop a few things off. Then we show up tomorrow. I brought your clothes.”
He nodded. “Thank you. After the service, you’ve got all the work of handling her will.”
I shrugged. “She asked me to.”
“We need to go through this place, right? Figure out what to keep and what should go? But we’re keeping it. The house, and all the family stuff.”
“As long as we can.”
He looked around the kitchen. It was dated, compared to the one in our condo, but it felt like a home. The dishes she’d gotten from her own mother, cookbooks stashed everywhere, the photos of family. Sure, the fridge was a little small and the dishwasher didn’t clean very well, but it was a place that had been loved and lived in.
“I could see living here again,” he said.
My eyes widened. “Really?” Justin could afford something much bigger and more convenient when he was finally done with hockey. And Mia and her family—were they still in the area? Would Justin want to live where he might run into her?
He nodded. “Yeah. You?”
“I don’t know.” I hadn’t thought that far into the future.
“Think Alek would like it?”
I winced. “I don’t know.”
“Maybe you should ask him.”
