Page 80 of Playoff
“What did you want to do before the Denbrowski disaster?” Jess had told me how her brother had completely upended his life. I suspected she had as well, though she wouldn’t admit it.
Her body relaxed again. “I’d declared an English Lit major, not sure what I would do with it. Back then, it didn’t seem pressing.”
Back then she had money to buffer her life. Then that was gone, and she’d had to become practical. Avoiding risks and taking the safe path. Fuck my parents, causing havoc to so many people without any consideration.
“I’m sorry you had to give that up.”
She shrugged. “It wasn’t that much.” Not compared to her brother, she meant.
“Do you like what you do?” I was fortunate, because I did. Jess didn’t complain about her job, but she hadn’t complained about anything regarding herself. Not about living in Toronto—did she miss the West Coast? Not her job with investments instead of books. Had she never gotten serious about someone because she was taking care of her brother?
“It’s fine.” Not a ringing endorsement.
“Why did you come to Toronto?”
Her body was tense again. “There were a lot of jobs.”
“And your brother?”
“It was after the Sharleen fiasco. He needed someone to keep him from becoming a total hermit.”
I guessed. “And you owed him.”
She pushed herself up and away, holding the sheet to her chest as if she didn’t want to be naked with me now. “He didn’t ask. He didn’t make me feel guilty. But yes, I owe him. Someone needs to look out for him. My parents? Are still focused on regaining their wealth and will lie to him to get money for lawyers or more risky investments. Our grandmother has dementia. The two women he’s loved couldn’t put him first. So who else is going to do that?”
That both saddened and angered me. Who knew when JJ might get his shit together and see that his sister needed some freedom? And till then, he was her priority. She would do nothing to hurt him, nothing for herself. Nothing except this thing with me, and it was a secret with an expiry date.
“Your family is big on self-sacrifice.” I didn’t mean to sound sharp, but this wasn’t a good dynamic for either twin.
“Not all of us.” She leaned over the bed, reaching for her clothes.
Right. Two sets of shitty parents between us, more concerned with money than their children.
I wanted to pull her back. Tell her she deserved to be happy for herself. Ask her to—what? What did I want? To make this arrangement more permanent?
What the hell?
Jess had pulled on her underwear and her jeans. She’d grabbed a T-shirt, mine, and held her socks and bra in her hands.
“I need to go.” She wouldn’t meet my eyes.
Damn it. “Wait, Jess. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“No, I should—” She gestured to the door and started toward it.
Why had I brought up JJ while we were in bed together? That would trigger that guilt complex. I jumped out of bed, grabbing my boxers and hopping into them while I moved.
She started down the hallway, walking fast. I picked her T-shirt up off the floor and followed her. I opened my mouth to tell her she had the wrong shirt on when someone called her name.
“Jess?”
We both froze. JJ stood in the condo entrance, looking shocked. Jess’s hair was messed, her clothing wrinkled, and she was wearing a T-shirt too large for her while holding her bra—there was no missing what she’d been doing.
“Justin?” Her voice was small. It killed me.
Fitch stepped out of his room, bringing JJ’s attention to him and me. Fitch was still dressed—he couldn’t have been in for long. While I was standing with nothing but boxers on, probably looking as sex-mussed as Jess.
“JJ?” Fitch questioned.
