Page 95 of Playoff
“My parents were upset that Justin and I got the house and most of Grandma’s estate, and they blamed me. That’s nothing new. But Justin told them off. He’s never yelled at them before, and they were shocked.”
“Your brother’s shocking a lot of people these days.”
So true. “After what happened ten years ago, our family dynamic, which hadn’t been totally healthy before, was completely messed up. Justin bore the brunt of the financial challenges, and I protected him.”
His lips tightened. “Yeah, figured that out.”
I kept going. “After Justin yelled at Mom and Dad and they left, he apologized for taking advantage of me. We’d all taken advantage of him, since he supported the family those first years, but he found it easier to let me fight the family battles and be a buffer between him and the rest of the world. It felt like the least I could do. And we just rolled along that way, until that night. He hit you because he was afraid of losing me. It was stupid and totally out of line, but crossing that line woke him up.”
Alek shifted on his feet. I needed to move on before he got bored or left.
“I hadn’t realized how codependent the two of us became, but he told me that I needed to live my life for me, not to take care of him. That if I wanted to be with someone, I should do that.” I looked at my hands, twisting in my lap. “He’s promised to stop wallowing, and I’ve promised to stop feeling guilty.”
Now I had to dig deep for the really scary part.
“The reason I wanted to talk to you was because…” I swallowed. “I don’t want this to end. I don’t want to fuck this out of our systems. I want…”
“You want?” I couldn’t tell from his tone what he was thinking.
You. But that was pushing maybe too hard. “For us to date. Publicly, with a chance to have a relationship. To be a couple.”
The silence dragged on. I was afraid to look at Alek. Would I see pity? He wasn’t exactly rushing to agree to this. If he only wanted sex, not me… Well, me saying this would be a surprise. And not a good one. But I needed to know.
None of my relationships had ever gone very far, but this one I wanted to see all the way. It felt different. Real. What we had together had been more than sex. I liked Alek. I liked him a lot. But I wouldn’t admit to more till I knew where he stood.
“But you won’t even look at me?”
My eyes flew up when he spoke. His brow was furrowed, his gaze searching. He didn’t look like he was sorry for me or was trying to find a way to let me down gently. He wouldn’t be cruel, I knew, or I’d never have dared to ask him this. “I was afraid of what your face might show,” I admitted.
He kept his eyes on mine. “I thought you invited me up here to get ‘closure’ before telling me we were done and asking me to keep this whole thing between us quiet. I’m a little confused.”
I drew in a shaky breath. “Alek, would you go out with me?”
“You want to go out with me.” Again, I couldn’t read his tone.
I nodded.
“The guy your brother punched when he discovered we’d been together.”
“He won’t do it again.” I’d made him promise.
Alek wasn’t done. “After my parents stole everything from yours.”
I nodded again, finding it difficult to make words. I hadn’t mentioned anything to my parents, but this would upset them. Worth it, but it depended on whether Alek was on board.
A laugh escaped him and my hopes nose-dived. “This is a stupid idea. There are so many reasons against it.”
He was right. I’d wanted to anyhow.
“So why the fuck not?”
My mouth dropped open. “Seriously? You’re saying yes?”
He cocked his head. “Don’t you want me to?”
“I do. Definitely. But I’d braced myself for a no.”
“I should say no. It’s incredibly stupid for us to even try. With our families’ history, you should hate me, not date me. But, well…” He shrugged.
