Page 70 of Obligation
“I miss us, too,” he said with a heavy sigh. After a moment, he nodded. “Okay, so we take time to fix ourselves, then we fix us.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat, wondering if she really would uphold that deal. She’d figure that out when the time came. For now, she’d take this as a win. The weight that had been bearing down on her for months lifted, and for the first time in too long, she could breathe without feeling like she was constantly gasping for air.
“Just promise me you’ll be here when this is over,” he said. “Because I don’t want to lose you, Carissa. I’m doing all of this for you. For us.”
“I told you I’d be here for you,” she said.
Even though she’d been lying to him—and kissing another guy behind his back—Carissa refused to promise him this. That’s where she drew the line. Now that she had the freedom to truly be herself again, she vowed to make choices that stayed true to who she was.
Danny slipped his hand along the side of her neck and drew her closer. Then his mouth was on hers in a kiss that was sweet and short and reminiscent of the way he used to kiss her. Nostalgia for the earlier days of their relationship flooded her senses.
“I love you,” he said, resting his forehead to hers. “And I’m going to prove that I can be the man you fell in love with. No matter what it takes, I’ll prove I’m worthy of someone as wonderful as you.”
Carissa blinked back tears, her smile more of a frown. She cupped his cheek. “I know you will.”
And that terrified her. Because what if Danny became the same guy she’d met a year ago? She’d loved that guy with her whole heart. She’d convinced herself that he was the one, the guy she’d spend the rest of her life with.
But so much had changed. Could she forgive him for all he’d done, for all the pain and heartache and tears he’d caused her? Even if she could, what about Bradley? He’d gotten under her skin, and she couldn’t shake him. She didn’t want to.
“I’m going to go call my dad,” Danny said as he stood. “He always knows the right things to say.” He titled his head, eyes filled with love. “Want me to walk you back to your res hall?”
“No thank you.” She met his gaze. “I think I’m just going to sit here for a while and think.”
“Are you sure?” He shoved his hands into his pockets.
“Yeah, but thanks.” She smiled.
“Okay. Will you call me later to let me know you’re home safe?”
Another wave of nostalgia crashed over her, and she gripped the ledge of the bench on either side of her legs, the rough stone cutting into her palms. He used to ask her to do that all the time, and she always would.
“Of course,” she said after a moment.
“Thank you.” He hesitated. “Well, I guess I’ll talk to you later, then.”
She nodded.
Reluctantly, Danny turned on his heel and walked away, head down. Seeing him leave like that had a funny feeling brewing inside of her. How had they gotten to this point? Fresh tears pooled in her eyes, and she didn’t try to stop them as they coursed down her cheeks.
She’d been wanting to break-up with Danny for a while, but now that she had, she wasn’t sure how she felt about the whole thing. Definitely relieved. And sad. But more than that, she was… at peace. This decision had been the right one, and she knew that, but the idea that this was the last time she’d kiss him or hold his hand had a strange sensation swirling in her chest. Emotions she couldn’t name bubbled up inside of her.
Her phone buzzed, startling her. She wiggled her phone from her front pocket and swiped her thumb across the screen.
Tiffany: You okay? We’re all really worried about you.
Carissa: I’m okay. Can you come home? I need some BFF time.
Tiffany: On my way.
Carissa smiled and wiped the tears from her cheeks. She always could count on Tiffany to be there when needed. Shoving her phone into her pocket, Carissa stood and started the short trek back to her residence hall. A warm breeze caressed her face and helped to dry her tears. By the time she reached her room, her mood had lifted.
But the second she walked into her room and tossed her keys onto her bed, she broke out into sobs. The first time her and Danny had sex was in that bed. Tiffany had graciously found something to do one night so that Carissa and Danny could be alone.
She sank down onto her mattress and ran her hand over her comforter. She’d been so nervous that night. She hadn’t been a virgin when she met Danny, but she also hadn’t had a ton of experience. Danny had been so patient and tender with her. She sniffled and wiped her wet cheeks. That night had been incredible, and she’d never forgotten it.
Then again, she hadn’t been able to forget the few stolen moments she had with Bradley, either. The way he made her feel didn’t come close to how she felt with Danny. Being with Bradley was euphoric and intensely passionate. He stole her breath and made her heart race with very little effort. Sure, Danny gave her tingles, but he didn’t drive her to the brink of insanity like Bradley did.
If their make out sessions were any indication, she had zero doubts that Bradley would be phenomenal in bed. A huge part of her wanted to find out, to drive straight back to his house and knock on his bedroom door. The more she thought about the idea, the more she was convinced that was exactly what she needed to do.
