Page 68 of Obligation
Carissa parked in the lot near her res hall, then walked to the cafeteria to meet Danny. The evening air was warm, and the moon was high in the sky, bathing the campus walkways in a steady glow. This was the kind of night that was perfect for a walk, preferably holding hands with a guy she was crazy about. Someone who made the butterflies in her stomach swarm with nothing more than a look, a smile, a gentle squeeze of her hand.
Her steps faltered when she realized that the guy in her daydream wasn’t Danny.
With a determined purpose, she picked up her pace and reached the cafeteria at the same time Danny approached. He had his hands stuffed in his jean pockets. Dark circles rimmed his eyes, and he looked exhausted on every level. The sight of him like that tugged at Carissa’s heart. Despite everything, she didn’t want him to hurt.
“Hey,” he said and stopped in front of her. He made no effort to hug her or kiss her.
“Hi,” she said. “You look tired.”
He forced a grin. “Haven’t been sleeping much since the bonfire.”
“That’s not what I heard.” She crossed her arms. “From what people tell me, you’ve been sleeping just fine—with other girls in your room.”
As soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted them and wished she could take them back. She didn’t come here to hurl accusations and cause a fight. She’d come here to make things right, to find some peace with the direction her life had gone over the past year.
Danny sighed, and she braced herself for an angry explosion. But none came. His shoulders drooped, and he hung his head. “I haven’t slept with anyone else, Carissa. I wish I could make you believe that.”
“Then who was she? That girl you took up to your room?” She crossed her arms, refusing to back down ever again.
“She works at the campus medical center. She’s a volunteer counselor who helps people deal with grief.”
Carissa’s jaw dropped. “A grief counselor?” She raised a brow, her intuition nagging at the back of her mind.
Was Danny telling her the truth, or was this another lie to cover his own ass? She honestly couldn’t tell with him anymore. But why lie about something like talking to a grief counselor?
“Yes.” Danny nodded. “I realized that I’ve never fully dealt with what happened that night.” He lifted his head, his gaze colliding with hers. “We both suffered a loss. That alone is hard enough, but the guilt I have over not being there for you?” He shook his head, raked his fingers through his hair, and turned away.
She remained frozen in place, unsure if this was really happening or if she was simply dreaming. How many times had she wished and prayed and hoped that Danny would come to his senses? Now that he was, she had no idea what to say or do.
“I’m so sorry, Carissa.” He spun back to face her. “I know I’ve said that so many times that it probably doesn’t mean anything to you anymore, but I am. If I could go back and change things…”
“I know,” she whispered and cleared her throat. “I’d change a lot of things, too.”
“When you found out you were pregnant, I was happy.” He closed the distance between them and took her hands into his. “We talked so much about our future, and I wanted everything we talked about. Getting married, being parents, buying a house after graduation. In my mind, we were on the fast track to having the perfect life.”
Tears pooled in her eyes, and she blinked in a useless effort to hold them at bay.
Danny squeezed her hands, a small smile forming on his lips. “But through all of that, I couldn’t help but feel like you were pulling away from me.”
“I was,” she admitted for the first time ever. “I was terrified, Danny. I don’t have a job. No college degree. My father swore he’d cut me off financially if I had the baby. No more trust fund. No money to take care of myself let alone a baby.” She sniffled. “I had no idea what to do, and all you kept talking about was the future.”
He frowned, then reached up to wipe her tears with his thumbs. He cupped her cheeks, his gaze warm and understanding, yet sad and regretful. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
She shrugged. “You were so happy, and I didn’t want to take that away from you.”
Danny rested his forehead against hers, his eyes closing momentarily. “But I wasn’t happy, Carissa. I mean, I was about the baby, but”—he straightened—“I knew something was going on with you, and you wouldn’t talk to me. I wrongly assumed you regretted being with me.”
“I’ve never regretted being with you.” She turned her head, and his hands fell away. She wiped her tears, then crossed her arms over her chest again. “But after that night, you changed, Danny. I don’t know who you are anymore, but I do know you’re not the guy I fell in love with.”
“I know,” he admitted, stunning her into silence.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Neither of them spoke for several moments. She never dreamed Danny would admit to changing as much as he had. But maybe this was a good thing. If he was finally willing to acknowledge something was wrong, maybe he could get some help. Maybe they could salvage their relationship.
The thought of that had anxiety rising up in her. She loved Danny, but did she want to be with him? Did she want to fix their relationship? Doing so meant no more Bradley, and the idea of giving him up completely had her breaking out in a cold sweat.
“I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone, Carissa, and I never wanted to hurt you,” Danny said.
