Page 18 of Obligation
He used the force of his kiss to slowly move her backward until the back of her legs hit the edge of the bed. She flopped down, and Danny sank onto the mattress with her. His kiss became harder, hungrier, and she struggled to keep up with him.
“You feel so good,” he muttered as he adjusted his body so that he was on top of her. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.” He nipped at her jaw, then teased her collarbone before dipping even lower.
She hadn’t had sex in months, and she definitely needed the relaxation that would come with release, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t shut her brain off. Each time Danny kissed her or touched her, all she could think about was him with that other girl—Lily.Had he kissed her like this? Had he been as passionate and aroused with her as he always was with me?Danny swore he never had sex with Lily, but Carissa wasn’t sure she believed him.
He eased his hand up the hem of her shirt, lifting the fabric as he dragged his palm up her stomach and toward her breasts.
She clutched his hand, stilling his ascent. “Danny, stop,” she said.
Putting his weight into his arms, he pushed away and peered down at her. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I just… I’m really kind of tired.”
“Seriously?” He narrowed his eyes, his expression turning dark. He shoved himself off her and stood. “We haven’t been together in months, and now you’re too tired?”
“Please don’t be like this,” she said, her voice thick with unshed tears. “I didn’t get much sleep last night, and I spent all morning cleaning. I drank too much.” She propped herself up on her elbows and watched as he paced the room with agitation.
“Yeah, because of that damn sorority,” he snapped. “I knew this was going to happen.” He shook his head with disgust.
Instant, intense anger sparked in her chest. She sat up, swung her legs over the side of the bed, and stood. “You know how much pledging TOP means to me, and yeah, it’s going to take up a lot of my time for a while, but it won’t always be like this.”
“Whatever.” Danny came to a stop and turned toward her. “I just don’t understand why, lately, everything else is more important to you than me.”
Her jaw dropped. “You can’t be serious.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re the one who decided to spend all summer in Maine and leave me here to deal with everything on my own.” Her hands trembled with rage. “I needed you to be here, and you weren’t. But I guess that’s sort of your thing, isn’t it?”
“What the hell does that mean?” His eyes darkened with anger that rivaled her own.
“I lost our baby, Danny, and where were you?” Fury bubbled in her veins. “Oh, that’s right. You were fucking some other girl.”
“I didn’t have sex with Lily. How many times do I have to tell you that?” His lips were set in a firm line, and the vein in his neck throbbed with barely controlled rage. “And how the hell was I supposed to know you were going to have a miscarriage?”
“That’s the point, Danny.” She threw her arms in the air with frustration. “You got me pregnant and then turned your back on me. You weren’t where you said you’d be that night. You refused to answer my calls and texts. You lied to me, cheated on me, and then ran away when shit got hard.”
Tears pooled in her eyes, and she blinked them away. She thought she’d emotionally healed from this ordeal, but apparently not. Anger and heartache were a deadly cocktail inside of her, a bomb waiting to explode, and Danny had just lit her fuse.
“What kind of guy does that?” She laughed bitterly. “You were so happy when you found out I was pregnant, and then… I don’t know. You changed. You made me feel like I was nothing more than a burden, a dirty secret you needed to hide.”
“Jesus Christ, Carissa. I made a mistake, okay? How long are you going to hold this against me?” He dragged his hand through his hair and turned his back to her. His shoulders rose and fell with several deep breaths. When he spun back around to face her, he at least had the decency to look sorry.
“I don’t know.” She shrugged.
Maybe she’d never be able to forgive him for what he’d done. Cheating on her was bad enough, but to know he’d been with another woman while Carissa was in the hospital, scared and alone. That was unforgiveable. Granted, he was right in that he couldn’t have known she was going to miscarry, but he shouldn’t have been cheating on her. He should’ve answered his phone. He should’ve put Carissa and their baby first. But he hadn’t.
“I don’t know how many more times I can tell you I’m sorry.” He closed the distance between them, his steps hesitant, and cautiously rested his hands on her shoulders. “I am so sorry, Carissa. Tell me what I can do to make this right.”
She averted her gaze and chewed on her bottom lip. How did she tell him there was no making this right? The damage had been done, and her hurt ran too deep. He’d damaged their relationship beyond repair.
“I love you.Onlyyou,” he said, his tone insistent. “And I was happy about having a baby with you. I was devastated, too, you know.”
Reluctantly, she shifted her gaze back to him. His expression was pleading, and part of her actually believed he was being sincere. But a bigger part of her knew he couldn’t be trusted.
“Please come back to bed,” he whispered. “We can start over. Make a new baby.”
Carissa jerked away from him. “You did not just say that.”
She shook her head and backed up, horrified by his suggestion. Did he really think getting pregnant again would magically solve everything? Maybe that was his idea of a solution, but to her, that was a living nightmare. Because that was her secret shame, the betrayal she could never tell him about…
The night she’d lost the baby, she’d been scared to death, but she’d also been swamped with relief. She’d been happy to be rid of the burden of being a teen mom. At the time, she was only a freshman. She wanted to finish college, graduate, get a job, maybe see the world. All things she wouldn’t be able to do when she was saddled with a baby—and a boyfriend who didn’t have a job or any familial support.
