Page 51 of Chasing Xander
“Like I said, I’m dealing with a lot of shit right now.” He shifted so he was closer to her. He removed his hand from hers and trailed his finger over her bottom lip. “Which is why I think we should slow things down.”
Her heart stopped, and her ears rang. Everything around her dulled. Slow things down? If they went any slower, she’d be old and gray before anything ever happened. “What?” She had to have misheard him.
“I still want to hang out and get to know you. Even take you out on dates.” He nudged her shoulder with his. “But I have a lot at stake, and I don’t want to disappoint you again like I did this past weekend.” He brushed a stray strand of hair out of her face, his hand lingering on her cheek. “You understand, right?”
“Yeah, of course.” Her voice was barely a whisper. Tears burned her throat and eyes. Was he being truthful? Or was this an elaborate excuse to distance himself from her completely?
“Thank you.” He smiled warmly as his hand moved down to her neck, his fingers curling around her nape. She held her breath, waiting for him to close the distance and kiss her. Instead, he rested his forehead to hers and closed his eyes. “For what it’s worth, this is going to be the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever had to do.”
Chapter Seventeen
It had been a little over a week since Xander had told Kylie they needed to slow things down. They’d been hanging out daily, laughing, joking, holding hands, and stealing innocent touches, but he hadn’t kissed her again; even though that was all he could think about when he was with her, which wasn’t helping him focus on his grades.
He yawned as he headed across campus. He hadn’t had any luck finding a tutor who could help him with the specific classes he needed help with, so he’d resorted to going to open study three nights a week. Held on the fourth floor of the library, there were TAs, professors, and other students to assist those who needed the help. It was a controlled, quiet environment that was conducive to learning. At least, that’s what all the flyers had said, and he agreed—even though it took some extra focus to study when Kylie was there. Thanks to open study, he’d passed his last two statistics quizzes and had gotten an A on his Business Ethics paper.
Climbing the stairs to the top level of the library, he found Kylie seated at their usual table near the railing. He dug in his bag for the item he’d bought earlier, then headed toward her. He stopped behind her and reached around, holding a single red rose in front of her.
She took it, her hand grazing his, and then she glanced at him over her shoulder. A gorgeous smile lit up her face, and his breath caught. “Thank you.” She brought the flower to her nose and inhaled, her eyes fluttering. “It’s beautiful.”
“So are you.” He leaned down, planting a quick kiss on her cheek. Flopping his backpack onto the table, he pulled out the chair next to her and sat. “What’re you working on tonight?”
“An English paper.” She made a face.
He chuckled. “I have to work on a paper, too.” As was their routine, they worked quietly, side by side. Between classes and studying and hanging out with Kylie and his frat commitments, his sleep was suffering, and his eyes burned with exhaustion. After almost an hour, he tossed his pen on the table and stretched his arms over his head, tipping his chair back. He glanced around the library. Normally, open study was packed, but tonight there were barely a dozen people. Probably because it was a Monday.
From the corner of his eye, he saw Kylie tuck her pen between her teeth and comb her fingers through her hair, pulling it up into a messy ponytail. Then she rubbed her neck and rolled her shoulders. He lowered his chair back onto all four legs and put his hand on the nape of her neck, rubbing it softly.
She groaned and let her head fall forward. “That feels really good.”
He turned in his chair and then patted her legs. “Turn around.” She did, sitting so her back was to him, and he massaged her shoulders, gently but firmly pressing his thumbs along her neck and shoulder blades.
“You sure you want to major in business?” she asked. “Because you could have a hell of a career as a masseuse.”
“Oh yeah?” He scooted forward so his mouth was near her ear. “Told you I was good with my hands.” She hadn’t seen anything yet. He brushed his lips across her neck and then kissed the soft spot below her ear.
She let out a low, barely audible moan. His heart thundered, and his face heated with lust. What the fuck had he been thinking telling her they had to slow down? It was unnecessary torture, cruel and unusual punishment. But until he knew how far she’d gone, he couldn’t rush her, and so his only option was to control himself. While he wasn’t as freaked out about her being a virgin as he had been, he still refused to rush things, because that would undoubtedly lead to regrets, and the thought of her regretting being with him… That would destroy him.
“Xander.” Her voice was a needy plea.
“Hmm?” He showered her neck with tiny, heated kisses. If he didn’t stop soon, he was going to suggest they leave. “Do you have any plans this weekend?”
She looked at him over her shoulder. “You tell me.” The corner of her mouth lifted in a faint smile.
“You do now…” His eyes widened, and he froze. This weekend! His mother’s birthday. He’d been so busy, he’d almost forgotten.Shit.Neither of his brothers had called or texted to remind him. His dad hadn’t, either.
Kylie twisted back around in her seat so she was facing him. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He shook his head. “I just realized I forgot to call my brothers about something. It’s no big deal.” He smiled. Having already broken one date with her when he freaked out about her virginity, he didn’t want to cancel on her a second time. And it was way too soon to invite her home with him. Wasn’t it?
“Oh. Do you need to go call them now?”
“I’ll do it later.” When he was alone and could ask for advice on whether or not he should ask Kylie to go home with him for the weekend. That sort of invitation didn’t exactly scream,we’re taking things slow.“I don’t know about you, but my concentration is shot. Want to get out of here, take a walk?”
She was already packing up her books. Once outside, he took her hand and laced their fingers. “I love this weather,” she said.
The moon was high and bright, and the air was warm. It was a perfect night. He squeezed her hand. “Considering we bailed early tonight, I’ll probably have to go to open study tomorrow.”
She nodded. “My RA keeps inviting me and Celeste to her events. We promised her we’d go to arts and crafts tomorrow night. I guess the whole building is having a hall decorating contest, so…” She shrugged.
