Page 26 of Trusting Tanner
“Wow.” Should she be flattered by his persistence or frustrated by his inability to take no for an answer? At the moment, she was a bit of both. The firm resolve behind her no was severely lacking, but she wasn’t willing to move beyond friendship with him. What if the things Devon said were true? She wasn’t ready for anything romantic, let alone something serious.
He shrugged. “What can I say? I’m a man who knows what he wants.”
“And you want me?” she said with utter disbelief.
“More than anything I’ve wanted in a long damn time.” His voice was steady, and his tone brooked no argument.
Holy. Shit.She swallowed hard and broke out in a cold sweat. “Look.” She twisted to face him. “I don’t like constantly telling you no.”
“So say yes.” He flashed her a charming grin, whipping out his dimple like it was some sort of weapon.
“Tanner.” She sighed. “We’re building a good friendship here. At least, I think we are, and I don’t want to ruin that.” She fought to keep her voice steady despite the fear clogging her throat. Losing Tanner wasn’t an option she wanted to consider. The mere thought of it had her hands trembling. She curled her fingers into her palms and put her hands in her lap.
“We are.” He nodded in agreement.
“I’m afraid if you keeping asking me out, and I keep telling you no, things will go badly for both of us.” She hung her head.
Tanner put his hand under her chin and tilted her head up. His eyes were dark and intense, and she held her breath. This was it. He was going to walk away, tell her he didn’t want to be friends, that he’d wasted his time with her.
“The last thing I ever wanted to do was make you uncomfortable, Jules, so please. Tell me what you want, and I’ll do it.”
“I want you to be my friend,” she whispered. The words tasted wretched on her tongue, and she wanted to take them back. She wasn’t kidding anyone, least of all herself, with the “let’s be friends” bullshit. She’d sworn off dating after Zach, but Tanner made her long for everything her ex hadn’t given her.
“Friends it is, then.” He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes, and she knew he was disappointed. Oddly, so was she, which made no sense at all. He was giving her what she wanted. She should be happy.
“Just for the record.” He nudged her gently with his shoulder. “If you decide you want to change your mind, I’d be okay with that.”
“Thank you.”
…
It was nearing six o’clock by the time Jules reached her room. Mondays were her longest days with a late afternoon class, and today had been particularly harsh. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Devon’s “warning” or her stupid, impulsive decision to tell Tanner to stop asking her out. Her stomach knotted as she stopped in front of her door. Walking in was starting to feel like a game of Russian roulette. She never knew what would be going on, who would be there, or what condition the room would be in. Resting her head on the door, she blew out a breath then pushed her way in.
Rebecca was on her bed, two people sitting next to her. Three more people sat on the floor and the couple she’d met previously were spooning on Juliana’s bed. She clenched her teeth and stared at the mess. It looked like a damn tornado had blown through. Clothes, toiletries, books and papers, shoes, and garbage were strewn about the room. Her makeup bag was once again dumped out on her desk.
“Get out.” The chatter paused, but no one moved. “Get. Out,” she said louder, then pointed at the door. “Now!”
“What the fuck, Jules?” Rebecca’s expression was mortified. “Rude much?”
“Oh no.” She shook her head. “You are not going to make me out to be the bad guy. I am so tired of coming home to find you and your buddies hanging out in a room that’s fucking trashed.”
Rebecca flinched and narrowed her eyes. She turned to her friends, who still hadn’t bothered to move. “I’ll catch up with you guys later, okay? I think I need to have a little chat with my roommate about her lack of manners.”
Juliana snorted.Shehad a lack of manners? Oh, that was priceless. When the last of Rebecca’s friends had left, Juliana swung the door closed. “You’re right, we do need to have a talk.” She crossed her arms.
“I seriously don’t know what your problem is, but I don’t appreciate you barging in here and telling my friends to leave.”
She squeezed her upper arms, her fingers digging into her flesh. “And I don’t appreciate coming home every single day to a messy room full of people I don’t know. For Christ’s sake, those people were practically having sex. Onmybed!”
Rebecca flopped down on her bed. “You really need to lighten up.”
She took a calming breath. Yelling at each other wouldn’t get them anywhere, and if she wanted things to change, she was going to have to approach it differently. “Why don’t we set some ground rules? This way you can still have your friends over, but I won’t feel uncomfortable. Or locked out completely.”
There was a long pause before Rebecca nodded. “All right, fine. What do you suggest?”
“Okay.” She wiped her palms on her jeans and sat on her bed. “You can have friends over twice a week, whatever days you want, but you have to tell me beforehand so I can make plans to stay elsewhere. And if you’re going to be having sex, put a damn sock on the door.”
“Deal. I want three days a week.”
