Page 101 of Trusting Tanner
“Jules, honey, you okay?” There was a light tap on the door.
Honey. God, she’d missed hearing him call her that. She pressed her hand to her chest to stop the splinter in her heart from widening any further. “I’m fine.” She grabbed a towel and dried her face. Mustering all the courage she didn’t have, she opened the door and faced Tanner.
He straightened from where he’d been leaning against the wall and gave her that damn adorable smile she could never resist. “Dinner’s on the table. We’d better eat before it gets cold.”
Nodding, she moved past him and headed for the kitchen. There was no way she could speak coherently. Not right now. Tanner had set out plates and silverware and had placed all the food containers in the middle of the table. “Wow, everything looks great.”
He pulled out her chair, and she sat. His fingers trailed across her shoulder blades as he moved around her to his seat. “I also brought entertainment.” He bent and picked something up. “If you’re up for it.” He waved a DVD in front of him.
“Dirty Dancing.”
“Figured the first time I watched your favorite movie, I should be with you.” He set it on the table.
The fact that he remembered that sent a warm fuzzy feeling ping-ponging through her. “Thank you.” Her voice cracked. “For all of this. It means…”
He reached over and placed his hand on hers. “I know.” He gave a gentle squeeze. “Okay, let’s eat.”
They fell silent as they filled their plates. She was extra generous with her portions, and when Tanner saw the Eiffel Tower-sized pile of food on her plate, he scooped more onto his, grinning like it was some sort of competition to see who could eat more. The first bite was an explosion of deliciousness in her mouth. Her eyes fluttered closed, and she moaned with appreciation. It had been far too long since she’d had a turkey dinner, and it was so much better than she remembered. She put another forkful into her mouth and licked the dollop of mashed potatoes from the corner of her lips.
“You’re killing me, Jules.” His voice was strained, and his gaze was intense.
“What?” she asked innocently.
“The way you eat. It’s so erotic. And sexy as hell.” He groaned. “Sorry. I probably shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, it’s okay.” She took a sip of the Pepsi he’d poured for her while she’d been freaking out in the bathroom. “I’ll try not to be so…erotic.”
He laughed, and her heart clenched. “Hey, I’m not complaining.”
Her temperature spiked, and she squirmed in her seat. “So, your brothers and parents are okay with you being here?”
“My mom was a little upset at first, but when I explained why I wanted to come back, she was cool with it.” He gave a lazy shrug and took a large bite from his biscuit.
She froze with the fork halfway to her mouth. “You told your mom about me?” Her ears rang, and her stomach dipped. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.
“I left out the part where I royally fucked up and lost the best thing in my life, but yeah. I told her about you.” He shrugged again. “Figured I didn’t need to go into that much detail.”
The threat of tears returned with a vengeance, and she feared there’d be no stopping them this time. Not because he’d vaguely referenced the fact that he’d cheated, but because he’d told his mom about her. And because he’d said she was the best thing in his life. She’d never been the best thing in anyone’s life before.
She kept her head down and pushed the food around on her plate. A single tear blazed a path down her cheek and dripped off her chin, splattering onto her turkey. She set down her fork and covered her face with her hands. Emotion after emotion crashed over her, twisting her insides into an ugly mess.
For the first time in four years, she wasn’t alone on a holiday, and she was ruining it by blubbering over her plate. It’s like she was seven years old again, stubbornly refusing to eat Thanksgiving dinner and crying because her mom hadn’t baked an apple pie. If she’d known then that it would be the last Thanksgiving she ever had with her parents, she wouldn’t have acted like such a brat.
Her shoulders shook with silent sobs. She needed to get a grip on her emotions, but before she could, Tanner was by her side. He lifted her out of the chair and cradled her against his chest as he carried her into the living room. Sitting on the couch, he held her on his lap. She buried her face against his shoulder and cried. She cried for her parents, for herself, for Tanner. For the future they could never have.
After what seemed liked hours, she pulled away and wiped her face. “Sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” That was utter bullshit.
“You have no reason to apologize to me,” he whispered.
She took a moment to look at him—really look at him—and she noticed a couple things. First, he was the sexiest man she’d ever known, even with the dark circles under his eyes and the pained expression on his face. Second, his eyes were red, like he was fighting with everything he had in him not to shed any tears of his own because he needed to be strong for her. And third, she was still hopelessly in love with him.
He caressed her cheek, catching a few of her tears with the back of his hand. “I love you, Juliana.” His thumb moved across her bottom lip, which was now trembling again. “I don’t expect you to say it back, but it’s important you know that.”
“I do. I know.” She nodded.
Cupping her cheeks, he lowered her face and placed a kiss to her forehead. Then he moved her off his lap and set her in the corner of the couch. “Stay here. I’ll grab a blanket and the DVD.”
She tucked her legs to her chest and rested her head on her knees. Tanner crouched in front of her TV and popped the movie into the DVD player like he’d done so many times when they’d been dating. He stood and headed toward her room. Unease wiggled its way into the back of her mind, as if there was something super important she was forgetting, something she didn’t want to think about… The instant it clicked in her mind, Tanner’s voice echoed from her bedroom.
