Page 43 of Shameless in Vegas

She slides her teary gaze up to me.

“What’s really bothering you, baby doll?”

Her pouty bottom lip trembles, and she brings her finger to the corner of her eye, andGod damn. I almost feel sorry for her. She reallyisa good actress. “Thatiswhat’s really bothering me. I told you how I felt when we discussed it before.”

“No, it’snot,” I insert, my hands bracing her face a little harder, and the righteous indignation starts to swell in my chest again just like last night. “You didn’t get all choked up like this when I told you about it then. Something else is going on, and if you can’t be honest with me about things like that, we’re gonna have a whole bunch of problems. I don’t want problems, Natalia. I want us to behappy. We won’t be happy if I don’t know what’s going on with you. So, talk to me.”

“I just…” Her slender throat pulses with a swallow, and she drops her eyes away from me completely. She pauses for a long time and still won’t look at me, and she must havereallybeen paying attention to what Elle said, because this actually looks a lot like she’s nervous about beinghonest. Which is obviously bullshit, but it only underscores how good of an actress she is. “At the party your parents took us to, you were honest with me about how you feel, and I didn’t say it back. It upsets me that I didn’t, but the thing is… I’mscaredof what I feel because I’ve never felt like this before, and what I feel isnowmaking me scared of what you’ve told me about your family’s connection to that cartel. And I just wish…”

She isshakingunder my palms.Again. And this tremble that she does really doesn’t seem like the kind that someone can fake, but all that means is she’s just a seasoned pro.

I guess.

I’m suddenly doubting everything I read in the message thread, and I’m going to have to look at it again when she’s asleep tonight.

Because of all that, I soften my hold on her and lower my voice. “You just wish what?”

She pauses again and still won’t look up. “I just wish things were different. Everything is wrong. I don’t want things to be wrong. I want things to be right. But if things were right, I wouldn’t be here with you, and I like being here with you.”

I tilt her chin up, but she keeps her eyes downturned. “You really mean that?”

It’s then that she finally draws her gaze up to meet mine. “Ilovebeing here with you.”

Those words and this look arereallyconvincing, and Ireallyneed to look at that message thread again.

The corners of her mouth are tugged downward in a subtle frown, and I kiss her bottom lip without thinking. As I’m pulling away, she’s staring at my mouth, brows drawn together, and her shoulders are rising and falling under the weight of deep breathing.

“Dios ayudame,” she mouths, the plea nearly inaudible, and then inclines her face forward to plant her lips on mine again.

And now I’m just fucking lost and drunk on her scent and taste as she sweeps her tongue over mine, andfuuuck.

What’s really botheringmeright now is the fact that even though I know Natalia is a lying, murderous bitch, I’m one-hundred-percentin lovewith her.

I’mweakfor her.

In fact, I am so in love and so weak that, even though we’re in the middle of a boujee Manhattan restaurant, I hold her flush against me and kiss her so hard that she’s starting to bend backward in a slight dip.

I am so in love and so weak that I want to find the goddamn restroom and lock us up in it so I can fuck her right this second.

Goddamnit.

This isbad.

Talk about sleeping with enemy. Jesus fuckingChrist.

I manage to remember myself and pull my lips away, but Natalia opts to nestle her face against my clavicle and murmurs something else I can barely hear.

“Estoy jodida.”

I’m fucked.

That definitely means something. And to know for sure what it means, I need to look at that fucking phone again.

Which means Natalia probably needs her damn sleeping pill a little earlier this evening.

GETTING THE PILL INTO Natalia’s drink was a little more challenging than I expected, but I got it done with my awesome baby sister’s unwitting help. Given that Lili was still a little tipsy and cranky from our lunch with Colin and Elle, I lined up a round of tequila shots for her, Natalia, and me under the guise of helping poor Lili drown her lingering sorrows of unrequited love. Lili and Natalia sat on the couch in the library, where my sister spilled her guts about Colin while I poured the drinks and managed to stealthily add the secret ingredient to Natalia’s. She downed it with the rest of us, and only about an hour later, she was nodding off against my shoulder.

Now she’s snuggly tucked into bed, and after a couple of firm shakes to test her level of snooziness, I’m settling into a corner of the en suite to read the new text messages from Xavier.

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