Page 71 of Bearly Hanging On

“You’re OK,” Tor snapped. “You get to hold Harper’s hand the entire time.”

I snorted, able to solve this problem at least. Rather than throw my arms up in the air to feel the momentum of the rollercoaster in every cell of my body, I reached back and took his hand. Kieran’s landed on my shoulder, and together we faced the rapid descent together.

What would it be like to experience life’s peaks and troughs together? To know that no matter how scared you were, there was always someone there to hold your hand. The idea was so foreign to me, I didn’t know how to respond. Freed from customary patterns, instead my heart beat rapidly, making clear how it would be.

Being an eye witness to the chaos that resulted from my father leaving my mother made serious relationships seem like a mug’s game. You let down your defences, allowed them in, for what? Them taking a look at all the softest, squishiest parts of you. I hugged the plush wolf closer. Then deciding you weren’t worth their time.

So why did Mum, why did I, keep on going back for more?

As we went hurtling down the track, I thought I knew. Because maybe, just maybe, someone would see the most vulnerable part of yourself and that would draw them closer, not repel them. Maybe they’d take that soft, soft part of yourself and hold it close, willing to defend it with their last breath.

I’d do that for Mack, that was kinda shocking to feel. My fingers gripped his I felt his grip tighten. I’d sit with Tor next time we went on a rollercoaster, reassure the tiger, the man, that even though this felt like danger, it wasn’t. I’d throw myself on Kieran’s back, ride with him off into the sunset, if that’s what he wanted. I’d do it all and more.

And they’d do the same for me.

Mack looked a little confused, as if one of those animal instincts alerted him to the change in my heart. Confused, but hopeful. The sun dropped low in the sky, staining it pink andorange, a beautiful gradient of so many shades I’d never be able to count them all. I wanted to tell him, tell them, but the rollercoaster stole my breath from me, so instead I just smiled.

That turned into a grin as we stumbled free of the rollercoaster. My body was sure we’d just survived a catastrophe, but my brain was humming, simmering in a mixture of adrenaline and relief that felt a lot like pleasure.

“Again?” Tor asked, grinning from ear to ear.

“Again…?” Mack spluttered. “You dumb arse cat, you don’t even have the common sense of a moggy.”

“You OK?”

Kieran swam into view, his massive body blocking the sight of the others bickering.

“I’m fine, Bear Boy,” I said as I threw my arms around his neck and tugged him down. The wolf plushie was pressed into his back as he leant down to kiss me. “Though I gotta admit, if I had a choice of ride tonight, it wouldn’t be anything you line up and pay tickets for.”

“You’re the devil, you know.”

But with that I was hiked up and onto his back, his arm gripping my legs as he marched over to a strongman stall. The man running it took one look at Kieran and went pale, taking his money grudgingly before letting him step up to the machine. The bear shifter winked at me before winding up his arm, the man’s eyes going wide when he punched the bag attached to the sensor. The stall holder was reaching for a stuffed bear before the numbers registered, handing it to me. Kieran let out a whoop when he saw that the sensor registered at 9999, obviously unable to go any higher.

“So I thought tonight was about fun.” Tor sidled up to me and then poked the bear plushie in the eye. “Turns out it’s a whole mating display thing.”

“Mating display?” I said.

“You know, when the male birds start doing dances.” He sketched some very strange dance moves, much to my amusement. “Trying to convince the girl bird to mate with him.”

“So you’re the pretty boy bird?” I said. “And I’m the drab girl bird.”

“You’re the most beautiful bird of them all.” He looped my arm through his. “And you’re going to get a tiger stuffed toy to complete the set while you watch me throw some axes.”

My eyes widened as we lined up at the axe throwing booth.

“Are you sure you can be trusted with edged weapons?” I asked.

Tor’s grin revealed a series of sharp fangs. “Absolutely not,” he said cheerfully. “That’s what makes this fun.”

I snorted, ready to step back lest I get caught in the crossfire, but he dragged me up to the person running the stall. As she took his name, I said, “Do I need to sign a waiver or start prepping a first aid kit?”

“No need to worry.” He spun an axe between his fingers, the sharp blade making me wince. “Tigers are natural born hunters.”

“Of wooden bullseyes?” Kieran asked as he winked at me.

“Of hearts.” Tor winked at me. “Though I’ll settle for a tiger plushie that’s even bigger than the wolf and the bear, because we all know you like me the best.”

“Never gonna happen,” Mack drawled, crossing his arms and watching the proceedings.

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