Page 36 of Bearly Hanging On

“So what do you think?”

“What?” I glanced up, not expecting to get quizzed on this conversation. If the success of this date hinged on me being able to regurgitate what I knew about crypto, I was out.

“About the current taxation system.” Brian frowned. “Seriously, I think we’re overtaxed…”

And he was off again. I nodded and smiled, something I often did on disastrous dates, because I’d learned the hard way what being honest with complete strangers led to. I just needed to get through this and tell Mum it was a bust, along with what apparently needed to be a more strongly worded conversation about not setting me up with anyone ever again. Just get to the end and?—

“Are you ready to order?”

The girl serving us was an angel in disguise, halting Shaun’s stream of consciousness for just a second. She looked at us both expectantly, but I was picking up a distinct vibe of solidarity.

“Yep.” Brian flicked the menu out and then said, “I’ll have the Scotch fillet and the lobster…”

I stared as he rattled off a truly impressive list of very expensive food, making me wonder if I needed to reassess this whole crypto thing. Peter, Mum’s boyfriend and Shaun’s boss, ran his own plumbing business. I knew he was doing alright for himself, but I didn’t realise how good, if his employees could afford this kind of meal.

“And for the lady?” The server asked me.

I hated blind dates. I hated not knowing who the hell it was I was going out with and whether to bother making an effort. I hated that we hadn’t hammered out who would pay for what at the end of the date, so I played it safe.

“I’ll just have the salad,” I said, then handed the menu to her.

“Watching your figure?” Brian nodded approvingly. “You could stand to lose a few kilos. Have you ever tried keto?”

OK, this date was done. I loved my mother, I think, but there was only so far I was willing to go, and getting diet advice from a guy with a little paunch wasn’t it.

“Brian—” I said, leaning forward.

“Brendan.”

He frowned as he corrected me. Brendan? His name was Brendan? Where the hell did I get Brian or Shaun from then?

“Brendan,” I said with a nod. “If we’re going to get through this date without me gutting you with a spoon, you need to avoid using the following words in the conversation.” I lifted my hand. “Keto, intermittent fasting, CrossFit, and most of all, crypto. We good?”

We were not good. Brendan sat back, arms crossed, pouting like a child. A pointed silence followed. I took a sip of my wine, barely repressing the desire to gulp it down, then got to my feet. The prick was giving me the hairy eyeball when he first saw how much taller than him I was, but now he was positively baleful, glaring at my heels like they’d personally offended him.

“I need to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

Not waiting for a reply, I stalked across the floor, grabbing my phone out as I went. I tapped out a furious message to my mother as I went.

No more blind dates, I sent.Not work friends, someone’s son, anything. You ring me up and tell me about some guy? I promise I’ll sign up for some prisoner pen pal thing and find myself a nice mass murderer to pine for.

I paused for a moment, wanting to hit send, all the while knowing it’d cause a shit storm the next time I saw her. Then I visualised Brendan’s pinched expression and hit send, right before turning my phone to silent. I went to the sinks, washing my hands, and then stared at my reflection in the mirror. A notification popped up on my phone screen and I winced, not wanting to read it.

Except it wasn’t from Mum.

A text from an unknown number popped up on the screen and my eyes widened as I stared at it.

If you seriously want to date this idiot, you better get back here.

I blinked, almost able to hear Mack’s voice in my head.

He’s muttering something to himself and it’s vaguely alarming.

A snort escaped me involuntarily.

Some of the other diners are starting to get worried. If I’m honest, I am too.

My teeth sunk into my bottom lip, trying to stop myself from smiling.

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