I chuckled. “I’ll be cool, Unc. Thanks for the information.”
“Anytime. Your aunt is sitting here waiting to talk to you.”
“Okay.”
“Hey, baby.”
“Hey, Aunt Candace. You good?”
“Yes, but you don’t sound good.”
“I will be. I just have a little situation with a woman I was interested in. I need to make sure she’s okay. If she is, then I’ll take her ghosting as personal and move on.”
That shit didn’t even sound right leaving my lips.
“You think maybe she was overwhelmed meeting Noah?”
“She seemed excited and happy. Nothing about her demeanor said she was uncomfortable. She looked more starstruck than anything else. When we got in the car, she was so excited. It was like the pain she was in earlier that day was a second thought. She just looked so happy, and knowing I had something to do with that made me feel good. I don’t want to let that feeling go.”
“Wow, baby. Are you sure you’re not having a hero complex? Like wanting to be there because you feel she needs rescuing?”
“No. I admire her strength, if anything. I’ve watched her since the first day of school. I can tell she isn’t always feeling well, but she shows up anyway. That takes strength, discipline, and determination. I don’t care about her illnesses. I can tell that it bothers her that I don’t care though.”
“What do you mean?”
“When she told me that she had cancer, I feel like she expected me to back away. So because I didn’t, it feels like she’s trying to make me back away by being distant. I know she’s attracted to me too. I can feel it through her gaze.”
“Damn. I hope y’all can come to some resolution.”
“Honestly, I’m not expecting us to. I just want to make sure she’s okay. I don’t want to try to force her to let me be around. I’ve expressed how I felt multiple times already.”
“What type of cancer does she have? Have you researched it?”
“Multiple myeloma. I looked it up. The intensity of it can vary from patient to patient. It affects the bone marrow. It’s like a plasma cell that are white blood cells that continue to multiply. Some people don’t have symptoms at all, or they can be as non-specific as bone pain, fever, and/or loss of appetite.”
“Okay. You think maybe it’s gotten worse? Maybe that’s why she’s pushing you away. Baby, when a woman has been through a toxic ass relationship, it’s hard to accept that all men aren’t as trifling as the man she just left. Trust, . . . I was the same way with Carrington. He wouldn’t leave me alone though. He consistently showed me he was thinking about me, showing me attention without overdoing it. Don’t give up so easily.”
I took a deep breath, knowing that she was right. “Yeah, you’re right.”
“If she’s that special already, then you need to fight for her.”
I slid my hand down my face, trying to get my heart and mind on the same page. My mind was trying to be logical and avoid unnecessary bullshit. My heart was saying that she needed me, but she didn’t know how to say so. We hadn’t known one another long. I couldn’t expect her to let her guard down concerning me already, could I?
I just thought that after the care I showed her last week, she would be more open with me. Voicing my concern, I asked AuntCandace, “What if I give it my all, . . . put everything I got into fighting for her, and she doesn’t allow me in? I don’t want to have a sour taste in my mouth about women. It took all I had to overcome the last couple of heartbreaks. I don’t wanna crash out on nobody.”
“I can’t believe I have to tell you of all people how to overcome. Secondly, if she got you ’bout to crash out, that’s serious as hell.”
“I’m not about to crash out now. I probably would if I put all my energy into convincing her that I want to be with her, only for her to walk away.”
“I get it, baby, but you won’t know if you don’t try, right? Carrington had to put a lot of effort into getting me. I was hood, and to me, he looked like a computer geek.”
She giggled, and I could hear Uncle Carrington saying something in a low voice. I rolled my eyes. “A’ight. I get the point. Goodbye.”
She laughed. “I love you, Chozen. You’ll figure it out.”
“I love you too. Talk to you soon.”
I ended the call and checked my text messages to see Azari’s address. While I wanted to just pop up on her, I decided to just send flowers first. Maybe that would prompt her to call. I got online and ordered her a bouquet of roses. They would be delivering them to her tomorrow. Going to my calendar, I knew homecoming was quickly approaching, but I needed to see what days I actually wanted to spectate. I would definitely be at the game, especially since I played football at Colorado. I loved football, but I realized I loved it as a hobby, not a job.
