Page 57 of Coast

“I know.”

“I think it’s safe for us to tote the stuff downstairs and put it under the tree,” Emery said, and I nodded.

“We better get started because if I don’t get, I’m going to fall asleep.” I yawned.

After what felt like a hundred trips up and down the stairs. I stood with Emery in front of the Christmas tree.

“Our first Christmas,” I said as I watched the lights on the tree fade, then come back in a different color.

“There is one thing missing from the tree,” Emery said and bent down, picking up a package. When he stood back up, he handed it to me. “Open it. It’s for the tree.”

I tore the paper off to find a white box with a lid. I lifted the lip and inside, surrounded in material to keep it from breaking, was a crystal ornament. It was round with etched snowflakes. The globe was beautiful, but the words on it were what made my eyes fill with moisture.

2019

First Christmas

Family

It’s what you make of it.

“It’s beautiful, Emery. Here you put it on the tree.” I held the box while Emery lifted the ornament, then positioned it front and center on the tree.

“Love you,cariño.”

“Love you, more.”

We watched the lights reflect on the crystal ornament and absorbed the moment before we headed upstairs.

Tomorrow would be anything but peaceful.

Iopened my eyes todarkness, then lifted my head from Emery’s chest and glanced over at the clock. It read two forty-five in the morning. I laid my head back down on his chest and shut my eyes and concentrated on his heartbeat.

It hadn’t helped. I was too excited for Christmas. Not so much for me, but for Tracker and Paxton. I couldn’t wait to see their faces.

Last Christmas, I spent it alone. Dirk had been in Afghanistan, and he and I had no other family. My eyes filled thinking of my brother dealing with everything alone. It still stung he hadn’t wanted me in Maryland. I’d honored his wish and stayed away. I even understood to a point that he needed to do it on his own. I’d given him his time, and when he’d told me he was getting fitted for his prosthetic, I’d invited him to come for Christmas. I wanted him to meet Emery and the boys, but he’d made excuses and said he’d make the trip in the spring.

“What’s the matter,mi esposa, my wife?”

“I woke up and now I can’t go back to sleep,” I said and snuggled closer.

“Who would have thought you’d be more excited for Christmas morning than Tracker and Paxton.”

“I can’t help it. I’m so happy, then I feel guilty for being so happy because Dirk is alone when he doesn’t have to be. And before you say it, I know it isn’t about me. But it has only been the two of us for a while. From the time we lost our parents, we’ve only spent a handful of the holidays together. Dirk was either deployed or I was working. I don’t want him to be the uncle the boys see once every other year.”

“Give him time, Mac. He’s gotten his prosthetic, and he has therapy. He’s essentially having to learn to walk again. By spring, he should be mobile enough to maneuver around an airport.”

“People fly all the time with disabilities. The airlines have people to help them.”

“Yes, they do. But you are talking about your brother, the master sergeant who is used to helping others, not having that help extended to him.”

“You’re right.”

“Excuse me. Could you repeat that?”

“Stop it. You heard me. I have no problem with saying you’re right. You’d hear it more if you were right more,” I said and then was on my back with Emery looming over me.

“I’m right a lot. Like now, for instance.”

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