Page 55 of Radar

And yet here he was.

Whatwashe thinking?

He was thinking … well, he was thinking that what he felt toward Elyssa right now was the look in Nutsbe and Finley’s eyes when they talked about their partners. Sorrow that their loved ones were in danger’s way and an utter conviction that they would throw themselves bodily in front of anything that came against them.

Those thoughts were all well and good if the loved one lived on the same side of sanity and morality.

It was devastating to think that not only could he not intervene to help Elyssa, but he was going to be one of the people working to bring her family to justice.

Ifshe was involved in wrongdoing, Elyssa was their target.

He couldn’t believe that Elyssa had anything to do with hurting people.

And if that was wishful thinking on his part, just look at how Radar stood as her protector.

Okay, sure, Elyssa could be a sociopath for all he knew, acting one way with him and turning around and advancing her evil family. He could choose to believe that he’d made a hellacious mistake, or he could trust his dog.

From the end of the bed, Radar opened his eyes, and in the dim light, he lifted one brow then the other.

“It’s okay, buddy. We’ll figure this out.”

When Elyssa snuggled back into his arms, pressing her round ass up next to his hips, his dick stood at the ready. He ignored it.

Hetriedto ignore it.

This was such a mind-bender.

In the dim light of the side table lamp, he lifted Elyssa’s hand and read her medical band, POTS. It was just as he suspected from Radar’s boops back in the lodge. Radar only relaxed his vigilance after Elyssa curled herself into the chair, pulling her legs to her chest, gulped her electrolyte drink, and ate the salty nachos with a heavy-handed sprinkle from the salt shaker.

With his finger on the bracelet, Elyssa started to contract her muscles and pull away. Her medical condition was obviously not open for discussion, so he slid his finger along the script-written tattoo that decorated her wrist. “‘My little bit,’” he read. “Is that a special someone?”

She relaxed her muscles. He’d been right. Her diagnosis was a topic that she wasn’t open to discussing. And she was entitled to her privacy.

“That’s my Desmond Tutu reminder, the quote is, ‘Do your little bit of good where you are; it's those little bits of good puttogether that overwhelm the world.” It reminds me that there are situations around me that I can ease.”

“That’s very sweet.” He licked her lips before kissing her. “Youare very sweet.”

Settling back on his pillow, he said, “Little bit,” as he rubbed the words with his thumb, trying to find a way to understand what was happening. “How does that work its way into your world?”

“I’m a scientist, and I hope that my work goes on to benefit humanity. I’m not in a position to do something grand. Desmond Tutu had a world stage when he asked us to do our little acts. Anything big I might accomplish is years away. So today, this minute, I can make something a little better. A smile. A helping hand. A design that feeds a hungry child.” She turned to catch his gaze. “That’s such an interesting glimmer in your eyes. Confusion?”

Torment, to be honest.

“Not necessarily confusion,” Xander said. “But you really do present as a contradiction. The way you handled the Gaston guy was,” he kissed the tips of his fingers and spread them wide to release his appreciation into the wind, “chef’s kiss. Not a waver. You had it all handled. You are graceful with your strengths.” And because he really meant it, he put his finger back on her medical bracelet. “I’m sorry about the POTS—it’s obviously a touchy subject. It must be a real challenge. I don’t know much about the condition. Is it genetic?”

“Can be,” she said, and this time she wasn’t pulling away from the subject. “In my case, I became symptomatic after a bout of COVID. It’s possible that it will go away. And it’s possible that it’s here for life. Fingers crossed for the go-away prognosis.”

“Absolutely,” Xander exhaled. “How are you feeling right now?”

She answered by lifting her chin and smiling the most come-hither, wanton smile he’d ever been gifted.

What an f’ed up world this was.

Did he want her? Every cell, every atom, every pulse of energy in his body said, yes!

Instead, he reached for the light and clicked it off before wrapping her in his arms and tucking the blanket under her chin. He tried to signal that he wasn’t going to follow through, but that wasn’t meant as a rebuff of any sort.

She shuffled around, moving a hand down to rest on Radar’s head, and with a sigh that sounded like contentment, Elyssa stilled.

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