Page 64 of Follow Your Instincts

“You’re all bullies,” I said, but it was hard to stay embarrassed around Lucas’ calming scent.

“I was coming to see if you needed help changing your bandages. Your hands look good,” he said, holding my hands gently to examine my palms.

“Well, since I completely forgot I needed to do that, I could probably use some help,” I said. I’d pulled on a pair of Ben's sweatpants that I’d liberated from his bedroom since the bandage was too bulky to fit under any of my leggings. And when I realized how much I liked smelling like him, I grabbed another of his t-shirts and tied the front into a knot. I’d think about the implications of this behavior later.

“I have all the stuff they provided,” he said, shaking a small container. “Want to come to my room? I have the nicest bathroom up here.”

I blushed a little at the thought of going into his room, but nodded. “Lead the way!”

“Come on in,” he said. His room was on the other side of Ben’s and slightly larger. It was very neat, as opposed to the chaos of Ben’s room, but cozy. There were photos of his family on the walls, and his scent had completely permeated every inch.

“Are these your parents?” I asked, stopping in front of a photo of a Black woman with Lucas’ eyes and cheekbones, flanked by two men who were clearly her Alphas.

“Yeah, they took that photo for their 40th anniversary,” Lucas said fondly. “My mother, Althea, and my dads, Fitz and Lance.” Lance had long, graying dreadlocks, and Fitz wassporting a spectacular handlebar mustache. They all looked warm, and the looks of love in Lance and Fitz’s eyes made my heart ache. What would it have been like to be raised by parents who cared for one another deeply?

“They look wonderful,” I said, softly, suddenly a bit choked up.

“Aw, come here,” Lucas said, and wrapped me in his arms while I started to cry quietly. “What’s wrong, sugar?”

“I never used to cry before this Omega bullshit,” I said, sniffing. “And now I’m crying because your parents look like really nice people.”

“Well, they are very nice. And I can’t wait for you to meet them because they will absolutely adore you,” he said, his breath tickling my ear.

That just made me cry harder, and Lucas guided us until we were sitting on the bed, me still sobbing into his shirt. He rubbed my back and murmured quiet words of comfort. After a few minutes, I calmed down.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I sighed. I did not want to talk about it, but if I didn’t stop bursting into random tears, these poor men might just give up on me.

“Just… this whole pack thing… I’m not used to having a family. Like, yeah, Kira is the best sister ever, but she’s all I have. And even she has her own life and friends and… it’s not the same as when we were growing up and only had each other. But now, there are four wonderful people that I’m coming to really care about and it scares the shit out of me,” I said, twisting my fingers together.

Lucas pulled my fingers apart, then tugged my chin up to look at him. “It’s okay to be freaked out. I think we’re a little freaked out, too, at how quickly you’ve come to mean so much to us. Because you do, Maggie. You mean a lot to me,” he said, and brushed his thumb across my cheek.

My heartbeat kicked up a bit. This was it. Lucas was finallygoing to kiss me. I leaned forward in anticipation, my eyes drifting closed. But nothing happened.

I snapped my eyes back open and Lucas was still right there, but he looked embarrassed. And not like he was about to kiss me.

“I think we should probably talk about something,” he said awkwardly.

“Oh god, you’re not into me, I’m so sorry,” I blurted, trying to scoot away from him. “I thought you just wanted to take things slow, but if you don’t think of me that way, that’s fine, I can-”

“No, no, Maggie, just give me a second. Please?” His eyes were pleading.

I nodded. Now my heart was pounding in a bad way. He looked down at our hands.

“I’m definitely into you, but it’s a little complicated. I’m ace. Asexual.” He glanced at me quickly, then looked away again. “I care about you so much, and I didn’t want to ruin things. But now I might have ruined things anyway bynotbringing it up.”

“Oh,” I said, my heart rate slowing down.

“And I understand if that isn’t enough for you, it’s been a dealbreaker for basically everyone in the past. I know I should’ve told you sooner… I’m sorry, sugar.” Lucas looked miserable, and my heart twinged.

“You haven’t ruined anything, I’m just processing,” I said. “And what do you mean it’s been a dealbreaker?”

“The one Omega I felt comfortable enough to talk about it with stopped the courting process immediately,” Lucas said sadly. “Which doesn’t excuse me not telling you sooner, I just… you’re so wonderful and I didn’t want to be the reason things didn’t work out yet again.”

“What is wrong with these Omegas?!” I said, thinking about the ones who rejected Ben because of his sexuality, too. “Also, I’m not upset. But… do the guys know?”

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