Page 47 of Follow Your Instincts

My giggles faded. I turned on my side to look at Bridget, and she mirrored me. “Thanks for talking to me about this.”

“Thanks for being normal about it,” Bridget said, smiling. “But, can I give you some unsolicited advice?” I nodded. “Don’t give up. To quote all of my therapists, our trauma doesn’t define us. Don’t let some Alpha jerk decide the end of your story.”

“Thank you Dr. Bridget,” I said in a sing-song voice and she threw a piece of popcorn at my nose.

Chapter 17

Lachlan

The human mind’s ability to disconnect from the harsh realities of life to lead a Zoom meeting is truly mindblowing.

I was almost positive none of the people on this weekly check-in call could tell I was in a hotel room instead of my office, or that I was having a personal crisis of any kind. They certainly couldn’t tell I’d paired my button down with a pair of Ben’s basketball shorts I’d stolen in my whirlwind packing session instead of my normal slacks.

I tuned back into the conversation to catch the last update from the team.

“And if we want to expand further into the healthcare sector, we’ll need another HIPAA compliance analyst.”

“Of course,” I said briskly. “It’s a priority, we’ll make sure we have the right personnel. Any other updates?”

Polite silence was my only answer.

“Thank you, everyone,” I said. “Have a great night.”

I wasn’t sure why I was so eager to get off the Zoom call when I had nothing else to do. There was always the pile of work I created for myself, but even that wasn’t cutting it as a distraction.

I stood up from the cramped chair and stretched, staringblankly out the window at the view of the city. The room was small and uncomfortable, deliberately so. This was an exile after all. I didn’t deserve to be comfortable.

I had no idea what came next, but I knew I couldn’t stay with the pack when I had, once again, ruined things so well.

My mind queued up the replay of that night to try and figure out how things went so spectacularly wrong.

I didn’t even remember going into the kitchen. It was like I had materialized there and found Maggie in Ben’s arms. Their scents had flooded the room and my mind. He had caught her lip in his teeth, and she’d given a frenzied whine, grinding her hips against his.

Jealousy had thundered through me. Not at Ben or Maggie, but at their closeness. At the fact that I wasn’t between them, tasting both of them, hearing them moan and sigh forme.

I had lost my mind somewhere in the time it took me to walk into the kitchen that night, because Ben had been my packmate for five years and I’d never thought of him as anything other than a friend. But seeing them together… I’d lost control to an instinct that wanted to claim them both asmine.

That night, after Lucas left with Maggie, the shame at that loss of control nearly swallowed me whole.

Ben had immediately turned on me. “What the hell was that?”

“I don’t know,” I said, stepping further away from him. I couldn’t look him in the eye, needed to put as much distance between us as possible to keep myself from reaching out and grabbing him again. I breathed through my mouth to try and clear my head of their scents.

“Did you see her? She was completely freaked out. You need to fix this,” Ben said with the hint of a growl.

“I will,” I said.

Soren said nothing. He was still leaning against the kitchen island.

“Were you jealous or something?” Ben asked.

I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

Ben sighed. “I’m trying really hard to be sympathetic right now. I know this is hard for you, but you need to deal with this shit. She isthe one, Lach. I’m not going to lose her,” he said.

“You won’t. I’ll fix it.”

And I had. That night, I had packed a bag and left the house. They deserved a happy ending, and maybe they could have one with Maggie if I removed myself from the equation.

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