Page 16 of Follow Your Instincts

I nodded.

She pushed the food to the side. “Switch places,” she said. “I’ll braid your hair.”

She sat at the foot of the bed, and I stayed on the floor. She started sectioning off pieces, and I closed my eyes against another flood of tears.

“Two braids or one?” She asked, as always.

“Two,” I said and rolled my shoulders to loosen some of the tension in my neck.

This time, I wasn’t sure if the tears were for those two little girls we’d been back then at the Rosen’s, both of us feeling out of place without knowing why, or if it was because I’d lost something I couldn’t name.Freedom, I thought.You lost your freedom.

“Talk to me, babe,” Kira said. “I know you have something to say.”

“I’m fucking pissed,” I said finally. “I’m so fucking angry that I’m afraid to even talk to you about it because I might never stop screaming. It’s not fair.”

“No, it’s not,” Kira said.

“I was doing so fucking good at work, Kir, like so good. I’ve been studying so much, reading up on investigation techniques and old case files. You know how bad I want this. And now, what, I’m just supposed to give it all up cause my uterus wants Alpha dick? FUCK that.” I slammed my fist against my thigh. “I’m not giving up, this is my fucking LIFE.”

“Good,” Kira said. “You shouldn’t give up.”

“And now I’m stuck here, in this very beautiful house with a bunch of fucking strangers who say ‘oh of course you’re not stuck here, you can go’ but I can’t because if I even look at a hot guy while I’m out there I might cause a fucking riot!”

“Yeah, it’s fucked,” Kira said.

“Can you please stop just agreeing with me like that? It’s making it very hard for me to stay angry,” I said. “I wanna yell at somebody, but there’s nobody to yell at except you and I’m not even mad at you!”

“You can yell at me all night, babe, that’s what sisters are for.” She finished the French braid on the left and started on the right side.

“It’s just not fair,” I said, and my voice cracked again. The anger was replaced by desolation so complete I felt like an unmoored boat being thrashed by a storm.

Kira gave up on the braid and went to sit in front of me again. “Maggie, girl, you gotta take a deep breath,” she said. Dimly, I could tell I was hyperventilating. “Breathe, babe.”

For the second time in two days, I cried until there were no tears left.

“Omega hormones are bullshit,” I finally said into Kira’s shoulder.

“You’re allowed to be upset,” she said. “This is kind of a huge, life-altering thing.”

“I feel like I’m being such a brat,” I said. “Some women fucking dream of being an Omega and I feel ungrateful for feeling like I’ve been sentenced to life in sex prison.”

Kira laughed. “Yeah, sex prison wouldn’t be so bad with the right cellmate.”

“I’m serious, though, I’m not giving up my job,” I said. “Captain said she’s putting me on a leave of absence for now, so I’ve got some time. And I’ve got a plan.”

“Hit me,” Kira said and went to finish the other half of my braid.

“Well, if I want to go back to work, Captain Harcourt said I’ll have to be bonded. So, I’m going to find a pack of nice Alphas, bond with them, and then bam, I’m back. I’ll apply for detective as planned next year, and everything is fine.”

Kira didn’t respond.

“It’s a pretty great plan,” I said.

She finished up the braid and pulled on my shoulder until I faced her. “Bitch, you are too smart to think that’s how easy it’s going to be.”

“Well, why can’t it be that easy?” I asked. “There’s got to be a pack that smells okay and wouldn’t object to their Omega working in law enforcement.”

“Maggie, they are also people,” she said. “You can’t expect people, especially a pack of Alphas, to just fall into placeperfectly. Isn’t a bond like a really heavy commitment?”

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