Page 31 of Extended Bridge

Oh God, don’t make me go back there. When I lost my inhibitions on the dance floor with him, and I can’t even blame alcohol. “What about it?”

“You were letting loose. Enjoying yourself.” I shake my head, but he interjects. “Don’t bother lying to me. I was there, remember?”

“Hard to forget,” I mutter.

He chuckles. “Damn straight. I saw it the moment it happened. When you realized you were having fun and getting lost in the music. A second before you bolted.”

No escaping this conversation. My shoulders lower. “You have to understand something about me, Bennett.” I glance away from his too-handsome face. “I’m responsible not only for Darren’s death, but my grandmother’s too. When I don’t keep a tight lid on everything, it all spins out of control. You know what happened with Darren.”

“He overdosed. You weren’t responsible.”

“I knew he was taking Oxy.”

“Did you pour the alcohol down his throat?” I shake my head. “Make him take several pills throughout the day and night?”

A tear falls. “No. But I was on the phone with him the night he”—My lips purse.

“He was a grown man. He made his own choices.” Bennett throws the ice pack to the side. “Listen, he was a ticking time bomb. It was bound to happen. None of us were aware, or even able, to stop it.” He tilts my chin. “Not even you.”

“That’s not what happened with my grandmother.”

His arms go next to his hips, and he leans his weight onto them. “Tell me about her.”

I close my eyes and begin sharing all the happy times we enjoyedtogether. All the baking we did when I was little. How she was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was seven. I gaze into his understanding green eyes. “When that happened, I took it upon myself to ensure she went to every appointment, including chemo and radiation, and made sure she took all her medicine.”

“Cancer is a bitch.”

“Yeah. But that’s not what happened. Well, it did, but not then.” My lips close.

Bennett chuckles. “You can’t leave me hanging like this. What happened to your Grandma?”

I look to the side, my fingers playing with the scrunchie at the back of my head. “She got a clean bill of health. I’m positive my daily visits helped her.” I drop my arms into my lap. “Once she was healthy, my visits became more sporadic. First I skipped a day, then a few days. Eventually I went to her house only once a week.”

“I’m sure you had lots of things going on at school. You were exploring the big world. I’m sure your Grandma understood. She probably even wanted that for you as you grew up.” He reaches out as if to run his palm down my arm, but his hand drops to the floor before making contact.

I stare at his large hand. Without raising my gaze, I say, “Three years later her cancer came back with a fury. She died the next year. All because I didn’t keep visiting her daily to make sure she was taking her meds.” My fingers cover my tear-stained face.

I can’t stop from flinging myself into Bennett’s arms, where he pulls me against his chest. He rubs my back in a soothing manner and I unravel against his hard torso. “Her death wasn’t your fault either. I’m sure you were her bright light.” He continues with circular motions. “I can picture you—all of ten years old, in pigtails—fussing over her. Baking cookies. Bringing light into her life.”

“I still failed.”

“Hate to break it to you.” He kisses the top of my head. “No one gets out of this life alive.”

Which brings us right back to Darren. I cry for Grandma. Whenthose tears slow, new ones fall for my ex-boyfriend. “It wasn’t his fault.”

“He had a disease.”

I nod against his chest. “One he caught because of me.” There. I said it out loud for the very first time. My absolute guilt.

Bennett’s hands close around my shoulders and he pulls me up to face him. “You’re wrong. You didn’t cause Darren to become an addict.”

I swallow. “I encouraged him to take the pills to help his recovery. He didn’t want to.”

“Why did you do that?”

“Because the doctor prescribed them, and I knew he wanted to get back on tour as fast as possible. He needed his wrist to play the keyboards. Oxy made rehab more tolerable. Wrist injuries are extremely painful, you know.”

“A groin pull is no walk in the park either.”

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